Main cast: Steve Valentine (Alistair), Corinne Kempa (Leliana), Claudia Black (Morrigan), Steve Blum (Oghren, First Enchanter Irving, Gorim), Mark Hildreth (Sten), Susan Boyd Joyce (Wynne), Jon Curry (Zevran Arainai), Peter Renaday (Duncan), Peter Bramhill (King Cailan), Desmond Askew (Jowan), Simon Templeman (Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir), Kate Mulgrew (Flemeth), and Tim Curry (Arl Rendon Howe)
Developer: BioWare
Ah, Dragon Age: Origins. It’s the game that made medieval fantasy cool again. That, or at least convinced gamers that not all dragons need to be slain by spiky-haired protagonists wielding improbably large swords.
Born from the brilliant minds at BioWare, the same folks who brought us the space opera Mass Effect, Dragon Age: Origins emerged in 2009 like a darkspawn from the Deep Roads. Clearly influenced by classic RPGs like Baldur’s Gate and Neverwinter Nights, it’s as if the developers said, “Let’s take everything people love about fantasy RPGs and add more blood. Much more blood.”
The Last of Us
The story follows the last of the Grey Wardens (that’s you and the more senior Alistair) as they attempt to unite a fractured kingdom against the Blight, a horde of evil creatures led by an Archdemon who apparently missed the memo about dragons being the good guys these days. It’s like Lord of the Rings meets Game of Thrones, but with 100% more opportunities to make terrible life choices.
Why Pick Sticks and Stones When You Can Cast a Fireball?
Now, let’s talk gameplay. The melee combat moves at the speed of a hungover sloth, but who needs swords when you can be a rogue? Stick an archer rogue in the back with the Lethality talent, pump all your stats into Cunning, and watch as your enemies fall faster than your approval rating with Morrigan.
But let’s be honest, mages are the real MVPs here. Combine Arcane Warrior with Blood Mage, and you’ve got yourself an unkillable magical tank that makes actual tanks look like wet tissue paper. Mass paralyze, heal, and enough utility to open a Home Depot—it’s almost unfair. Almost.
Be Bold or Be Bad
The choices in this game are more diverse than a United Nations potluck.
Want to be a beacon of hope and light? Go for it.
Prefer to be the kind of person who kicks puppies for fun? The game’s got you covered.
Your character can be as noble as Aragorn or as psychotic as that guy who thought The Purge was a good idea.
Bondmates and Bedmates
As for companions, they’re a mixed bag of nuts. Some are tasty, some you’d rather feed to the darkspawn.
Wynne’s your grandma packing a battery of support and buff spells that make her more essential than teatime at a retirement home.
Morrigan’s the goth girl who’s way too into swamp fashion… and can be turned into a spell-slinging powerhouse that makes most mages look like they’re wielding sparklers.
Leliana’s a bard who’s as deadly with a bow as she is with a dagger—our top pick for archery enthusiasts. For non-rogue players, her high Cunning score makes her more valuable than a skeleton key in a dungeon, unlocking chests faster than you can say “loot”.
But wait, there’s more! Oghren’s a hilarious drunk who, if you bother to chat him up, reveals more layers than an onion (and only slightly fewer tears). Sten’s deadpan humor is drier than the Anderfels desert. Alistair? He’s the best bro you never knew you needed, like a knight in shining armor who also does stand-up. And let’s not forget the dog, man’s best friend and finder of useless junk that you didn’t know you wanted.
Zevran, bless his heart, is about as useful as a chocolate teapot, given Leliana’s existence. He’s only really handy if you’re looking for a romance option or if you’re the kind of monster who’d actually consider offing Leliana (you wouldn’t, right? RIGHT?).
Alas, most of these lovable misfits are either warriors, the class you pick when you hate yourself or, in Zevran’s case, a redundant rogue. They’re about as necessary as a screen door on a submarine, but damn if they don’t make the journey more entertaining.
The Pacing Packs a Punch
The pacing is tighter than Alistair’s witty comebacks, with quests more interconnected than a conspiracy theorist’s corkboard.
The atmosphere is so thick you could cut it with a dull butter knife, and the tension is more palpable than Oghren’s body odor. It almost makes up for combat slower than molasses in January. Almost.
But let’s address the Qunari in the room – the Fade and Orzammar sections. These areas drag on longer than a politician’s promise, with more backtracking than a lawyer on cross-examination and near impossible to 100% unless you use a guide you find online. Why suffer, though? You can just mod these stages out of the game if you want—just search online for the right mods. (Warning: there are so many mods for this game, your mind may get blown worse than a Tranquil’s!)
Andraste Bless Inon Zur…
Let’s not forget Inon Zur’s musical masterpieces that elevate this game from “great” to “goosebump-inducing.”
The opening theme hits you harder than an ogre’s fist, sending chills down your spine faster than a Cone of Cold spell.
While we’re on the subject of music, Leliana’s song deserves a special mention. Sure, the cutscene might be more awkward than a teenage first date, but the song itself is hauntingly beautiful, the kind of melody that sets up camp in your brain and refuses to leave. It’ll have you feeling more feels than that time you accidentally sold your family heirloom to the merchant you can’t find anymore.
… But Curse Those “Sexy” Cutscenes
Now, let’s address the genlock in the room: those love scenes. Oh boy.
If you ever wanted to know what it looks like when two crash test dummies fall in love, Dragon Age: Origins has got you covered. Nothing says “passionate encounter” quite like characters sporting ugly white underwear that looks like it was designed by someone who’s only heard of lingerie through telegraph.
Those facial expressions… shudder. It’s as if everyone involved is simultaneously constipated and trying to remember if they left the stove on.
These scenes are so awkward, it’s like watching a dental appointment, but with more heavy breathing and less dental hygiene. But hey, at least it gives you something to laugh about while you’re busy saving the world, right?
Still, Best Game Ever!
Despite showing its age like a fine wine (or a not-so-fine cheese), Dragon Age: Origins remains a solid choice for those seeking a beautiful bastard child of RPG depth and action game accessibility. It’s the gaming equivalent of comfort food – familiar, satisfying, and occasionally gives you indigestion. It’s like that one ex you keep going back to. Sure, it’s got issues, but damn if it isn’t memorable.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go restart my 57,777th playthrough. This time, I swear I won’t romance Morrigan… probably.
