Main cast: Dean Sharp (Dean of the Dead), Nia Roberts (Mrs Jones), Richard Harrington (Mr Jones), Gwyneth Keyworth (Margaret), Mike Butler (Man), Bizz Raggett (Woman), Enan Heneghan (Thomas), Jennifer Riddle (Caitlyn), Everett Lauster (Billy Rottentail), Kayla Orben (Ruth Rottentail), Sanne Johnson Lund (Carrie), Hayden Hancock (Damien), Carole-Ann Fooks (Mildred), John R Sabine (Oliver), Drew Marvick (John Squires), JJ McGrath (Nick Diablo), Joe Nurse (Baby Gerald), Heather Marshall (Nanny Slice),
Directors: Ryan Andrews, Christian Fescine, Ryan Kruger, Tony Mardon, Drew Marvick, James Edward Newton, Jeph Porter, Matt Shaw, Mark Felix Stewart, Justin Wiggins, Jonathan Zaurin, and Dean Sharp
If you’re a horror fan who grew up on Tales from the Crypt, Creepshow, or even John Carpenter’s Body Bags, then Dean of the Dead Presents: Holiday Horrors might sound like a dream come true. Conceived as a love letter to those shows, movies, and comics, it is unfortunately more of a nightmare — and not the good kind. Think less Freddy Krueger and more “I accidentally ate expired leftovers”.
This low-budget flick boasts eight short segments as well as some filler segments designed as “advertisements, all of which feel more like speed bumps on the highway to mediocrity. It’s an anthology with all the classic hallmarks of its ilk: bad acting, bad lighting, and production values so low they could moonlight as limbo champions. Sadly, it lacks the one thing that could redeem such shortcomings: originality.
The segments are as predictable as a Hallmark Christmas movie. Within seconds, you’ll have guessed every twist and turn, leaving you to wonder if the writers had a brainstorming session or just spun a wheel labeled “Tired Horror Tropes”. The “filler ads” between segments try to be clever but end up feeling like your drunk uncle’s attempts at stand-up comedy: long, awkward, and only funny in hindsight.
That said, one segment does stand out: Libra. Directed by Tony Mardon and James Edward Newton, it opens with a man bandaging a wound and plucking out maggots from his naughty bits, before engaging in a make-out session with a rotting corpse. If nothing else, it’s a masterclass in making you regret eating popcorn during a movie. Gross in all the right ways, Libra feels like the kind of revolting gem you’d stumble upon serendipitously while wading through a pile of horror films.
The rest of the movie tries to balance its gore with humor, but the jokes are as sharp as a butter knife. The segment Fool Me Once deserves a special mention for the robotic acting of its cast. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a group of mannequins came to life and tried their hand at horror, this is your answer. It’s hard to feel fear when the cast looks like they’re rehearsing for a community theater production of The Walking Dead.
One thing Dean of the Dead Presents: Holiday Horrors does have in spades is gore. Buckets of it. Barrels of it. Enough to make even the most seasoned horror fan squirm. But calling this a homage to Tales from the Crypt feels like a stretch when the focus is more on gross-outs than genuine horror. It’s as if the filmmakers said, “Why build suspense when we can just throw more entrails at the screen?”
Yet, for all its flaws, there’s something endearing about Dean of the Dead Presents: Holiday Horrors. You can tell it was made by people who genuinely love the genre, even if their enthusiasm outpaces their talent. It’s like a homemade cake that looks like a Pinterest fail but was baked with so much heart you can’t bring yourself to hate it.
In the end, Dean of the Dead Presents: Holiday Horrors is a bloody mess, literally and figuratively. It’s the cinematic equivalent of a dollar-store Halloween decoration: tacky, over-the-top, and strangely charming despite itself. If you’re in the mood for mindless gore and don’t mind predictable stories and wooden acting, give it a go. Just don’t expect it to haunt your dreams — unless you’re haunted by regret.
