Columbia
Pop, 1999

Well, they did get their name from a novel by Anne Rice, so I guess they do read. But yikes, the lyrics of the songs by this duo are pure infantile garbage. And I’m being kind. I’ve never encountered such embarrassing juvenile nonsense in songs for quite a while. Maybe since Macarena.

Which is a pity, as the tunes are rather catchy. But I cannot listen to them singing about happy laughing animals and how wonderful it is if we are all living like beasts in The Animal Song without rolling up my eyes. What? Have these guys ever seen the Discovery Channel? And on the title track, I am bombarded with so many bad, obvious peace and crap messages that I start seeing Chernobyl. “I believe junk food tastes so good because it is bad for you” is one of the better lines in this tripe.

I can go on, like the godawful “I will be there” schlock of Crash and Burn, the whimsy-turned-hemorrhage Two Beds and a Coffee Machine, and more, but I am getting a panic attack just recalling the bad song words to the music. It’s worse than an episode of Teletubbies. It’s… it’s… brainless!