SURVIVOR

Pearl Islands Episode 5: Everyone's Hero

Previously Jon sucks, he sucks, he really sucks, he sucks so much that all the suck is sucked up by him, and the Morgons suck too. All this sucking creates a chain reaction where Burtman tries to plot an ouster on Cokecasta by urging everyone else in Quack to throw a challenge, and he gets sucked down into the bog of losers as a result. Adios, Burtman! In this episode, the cracks that result from the stupid plot continue to spread all over the once perfect facade of the Quacks like the demons of pain and anguish released from the metaphorical Pandora's Box that is the treasure chest the Quacks opened.

Credits, please. I just notice that they cleverly segue that canonball explosion scene with T&A pulling at something (no doubt I'm supposed to think that it's the canon) and opening her mouth in a "Hiya!" expression. Which may be an accurate representation of what I am seeing right now: the Quacks has torpedoed themselves in the stomach, and the Morgons are just waiting to fire one final coup de grace on the other tribe so that Osten and the Feuhrer will go far and I will hemorrhage into a coma all over the living room floor.

Night twelve - the Quacks. "Well, well, well," Jon Fairplay sneers as the Quacks gather around the fire in some post-Burtman-ouster contemplation pow-wow. He hints that he knows who Shawn voted for. By "hinting", I mean practically sneering and cackling so that anyone watching Jon will come to two conclusions: Shawn Muggwitt voted for Burtman and Jon is a big freaking idiot.

In his interview, he reveals that he let Shawn on on the plot to oust Burtman, cackling in glee that he's told Shawn to vote for Burtman or Shawn is toast himself. It occurs to me that Jon Fairplay is a tool that believes in being devious for the sake of being devious, not because of strategy, because right now I don't know what kind of gameplay he is playing. Instead of letting the tribes cannibalize Burtman, Michelle, and Shawn one by one, he has instead drawn Shawn over to the 9-to-5 clique, so there's one more physical threat added to the 9-to-5 clique. And they're worried about Hagrid?

Shawn proves that he's just one kick in the head from being completely delusional by saying that he has always wanted Burtman out. To the Quacks, he says that he is annoyed by Burtman anyway and he never liked that haughty arrogant twit. Trish rolls up her eyes and says in her interview that she wonders just how stupid Shawn think they are. She points out that those two men are as thick as two jelloed sandwich slice in the last "thirteen" days. (I counted eleven days, but she says thirteen.) In his interview, Shawn says that he and Burtman are not good friends, only friends for show, and that he's glad that Michelle is now on the line of fire, because yo, it's like, totally, Shawn is so brilliant. Whoa dude, steady there - all the pits and holes in your brain is showing.

Jon, ever the charismatic demagogue, points out in his sneering vizier voice that "everyone" knows that Michelle voted for Cokecasta. He then points out that the Quacks will not hold that against her. Michelle just tells everyone good night and retreats to her sleeping bed. In her personal interview, she says rightfully that Jon is talking a load of rubbish and that she's really in trouble now as she's basically an alliance on one living with the enemies. She should have thought it over a little more before she aligns herself with the two idiot beefcakes. Three aligned with an unstable idiot against three of the rest of the tribe is never a good idea in the first place - and what kind of idiot places all her bets on someone like Jon Fairplay, Burtman, and Shawn anyway?

Happy music! For the Morgons! Morning, day thirteen, and it's a good day at the Morgon camp as Hagrid is here to save everybody there. He surveys the tide threatening to sweep the Morgon shelter back to the sea where it rightfully belongs and chuckles as he tells the camera that the idiots are trying to hold back the tide with a few bits of logs. He tells Ryan O, who looks at Hagrid the way Harry Potter looks at Draco Malfoy in really bad Harry Potter slash fiction written by enthusiastic but gawdawfully inept teenaged girls at Fanfiction.net, that they must move the shelter. Ryan O nods his head - of course, of course. Ryan O is starting to have heavy stubble growing on his chin and even down his neck, but while the Feuhrer looks like a hideous werewolf, this man looks so cute instead. And to give this gorgeous cocktailed-weenie cutie credit, he suggested moving the shelter last episode and Hagrid is just reinforcing Ryan O's opinions. No wonder Ryan O is infatuated with Big and Wise Hagrid. He's Hagrid after all. Ryan O wants to wear glasses and be Harry Potter for Hagrid.

Hagrid suggests that they move the camp about forty feet away from where it is located now. Osten whines - why move it now when things are okay? Yeah, why indeed. Won't it be better to wake up one day at the bottom of the sea and then scream for help like the loser he is? The Feuhrer, bizarrely infatuated with Osten, tries to save Osten's face by suggesting to Hagrid that Osten wants them to move the shelter maybe a little closer to the original site than the suggested forty foot away. Osten and the Feuhrer and Ryan O begin to argue over this problem, and Hagrid just sits at the sideline and watches, flummoxed. And where is Darrah, you ask? Cue camera shot of her sitting on the shelter floor. Doing a "Darrah". Osten whines that he doesn't want to be bitten by bugs. Any idiot that strips down to boxers only to whine about the cold and the bugs deserve what he gets. Why didn't Osten drown and has to be ejected from the game last week? Who do I hate more, Osten or Jon Fairplay? Hmm, decisions, decisions.

Darrah speaks! "Uggawugga! Arrgoogoo guh guh chiwaa-waa!" Actually, she says that Osten is "aggravated" (I took three minutes to decipher this word alone) because they have to move everything - the shelter, the fire, everything. Ah, who knows camping can be so tough, eh?

Hagrid in his interview marvels that the Morgons works very hard at not working. Heh. Hagrid, it's all strategy, according to the Feuhrer. He says he has an idea now as to why the Morgons take hours to come to a decision and even longer to get anything done. And he bets that the same reason is also why the Morgons suck at challenges.

Ryan O manages to persuade the tribe to move the shelter and Osten pouts because now he has to do work. The Morgons and Hagrid begin dismantling the shelter. Ryan O seems perplexingly surprised by how flimsy the Morgon shelter is. "It's kinda like remodeling a house with four bad walls," he marvels in an interview. The shelter has walls? And sure enough, he, Hagrid, the Feuhrer, and Osten pick up the shelter, place it forty feet away, and watch as it collapses onto the ground. Hagrid looks up to the sky, no doubt praying for strength. He has my sympathies.

Over at the Quack camp. Trish and Michelle are having a swim and a pow-wow. Trish hopes that Hagrid is happy with the Morgons. She and Michelle say that they have a can of spam back at the camp, but they will wait until Hagrid comes back before they all start to spam. How sweet. Trish hopes in her interview that Hagrid hasn't unintentionally given away anything that can damage the Quacks in the long run. Then they join the others back at camp. Jon says that the Morgons must be charming and BSing Hagrid for confidential information. Big Sandra hopes that Hagrid comes back with lots of top secret info. I wonder what these people want to do with the so-called secret info. Are they fearing some sort of tribe swap selection process like the one Dr Dave and Jabba had in Amazon? Otherwise, it is not as if they can do anything about it now, unlike a few seasons back when votes cast in the past can affect tiebreakers in future Tribal Councils. I wish they bring back that practice, by the way. It makes a Survivor really careful and be on his or her guard throughout the entire game instead of just hanging on coattails until after the merge and then hope for the best.

Back to the Morgon camp. Hagrid complains that he is thirsty. He also decides to go fishing. The Feuhrer, sitting on the shelter, waves haughtily at the sea and tells Hagrid that the fish there is waiting for Hagrid. Hagrid doesn't force the Feuhrer to eat Hagrid paw like he should, instead he takes Ryan O aside and shows the guy how to use the spear. Like how you should use your fingers to carefully hold tight the elastic but sensitive ridge on the shaft and you shouldn't just thrust the spear at the target but just move along with the rhythm and all that. Ryan O is all about learning the Zen of Spear Mastery from Hagrid and it's such a lovely scene, it brings tears to my eye.

Ryan O tells Hagrid as they get ready to fish how glad he is that Hagrid is with them. In an interview, Hagrid says that Ryan O is a good kid, ignoring the fact that Hagrid is just nine years older than he. Hagrid says that Ryan O is willing to learn because he genuinely wants to be the provider of the tribe, but the man lacks the knowledge and skill to do so. Hagrid is willing to teach Ryan O on how to be a man and all that comes along with being a man.

Underwater love ensues as Ryan O watches as Hagrid swoops under the tide and spear a few fish. Here, Ryan O, let's see how you do it. Ryan O is so happy that he can finally use his spear right, and Hagrid beams approvingly as Louis Armstrong's We Have All The Time In The World begins playing in the background. Okay, Burnetto is too cheap to pay royalty, so there's no song, only cheap tinkly happy music, but it's no crime to imagine, is it? "We have all the time in the world, just for love, nothing more, nothing less!" booms forth the sexy baritone of Louis Armstrong as Hagrid asks Ryan O to open wide (the bag, that is) as he tries to stuff the meat inside (fish meat, that is). But oops, Ryan O chuckles giddily as the fish leaps out of the bag and straight to freedom - "I'm coming, Nemo!" Hagrid yells, but he's obviously more amused than annoyed. "Every step of the way will find us," Armstrong sings, "with the cares of the world far behind us!"

How beautiful. Ryan O and Hagrid deserve a sequel after this wretched season ends.

Ryan O is telling T&A all about his wonderful fishing trip with Hagrid and seriously, the man is aglow with excitement. What an adorable and enthusiastic guy, can I adopt him? Hagrid grins and brings out a bag filled with fish and everyone cheers. Osten claps. The Feuhrer calls Hagrid a godsent and commends Hagrid on the man's "work ethics", as if he knows anything about work ethics in the first place. T&A smooches Hagrid gratefully and Hagrid delivers a charming, half-cocky "Thank you, baby!" But the best commendation on the Morgon's new hero comes from Hagrid's very own besotted portege. "The smartest thing this tribe ever did", he says as he smiles widely, is to get hold of Hagrid. Let's not argue whether the Morgons actually "did" anything to get Hagrid - Ryan O's smiling, people, and in this moment, that's all that counts.

You know, I almost like this tribe at this moment. It's amazing how Hagrid's editing brings out the best from every other scene he is in. This guy is getting Burnetto's best editing treatment, even better than the editing Burnetto gave C Girl of Amazon and as good as the one he gave Colby of Australia.

Day fourteen. Hagrid the Hero retrieves an oar from the chest mail and takes it back to the Morgons. They - especially Ryan O, no doubt - hang on to his every word as he reads aloud the bad poetry stuff that talks about cleanliness. T&A gasps when the poetry hints at the reward being toiletry. Darrah is happy - or at least, I think she is. Her lips curve up a little at the edges. Watch the Feuhrer closely from now on, by the way. It is obscene how one can see the flopping of his weenie in his boxer shorts with ever step he makes, not that I'm complaining.

Hagrid says that he loves the Quacks, but he wants to beat them so that the Quacks will realize that they can't win challenges without Hagrid. Uh, okay.

Jeff Proboscis awaits as the two tribes walk into the Beach of Cheap Kiddie Games. At seeing Hagrid, Jon Fairplay gives him a thumbs-up sign. This week's rivetting Reward Challenge will require each team to paddle up along a course marked by buoys. At each buoy, a team member must dive down to collect a piece of a ladder. There are eight pieces to collect. Once all eight pieces have been collected, the tribe must paddle back to the beach and assemble the ladder to prop it against a tower. Meanwhile, one of them must run into the jungle nearby, find what Probby calls a "Spanish well" (looks like a normal well to me), pull out an idol from the "Spanish well", and bring it back so that he or she can climb the ladder and put the idol at the top of the tower. The first tribe to do this wins a huge stash of loofahs, soap, shampoos, and even a portable shower. (Osten rubs T&A's shoulders when they all see the prize - T&A, what did you see in this loser?) This is in addition to the chance to loot the opposing tribe and in Morgon's case, their first piece of the map to the fabulous treasure (cue the Quacks' simultaneous eye roll here).

Then they're off. The Morgons are doing okay. Shawn is diving okay. The rest of the Quacks however, are not. They are paddling on the same side (Trish and Cokecasta's brilliant idea), so it's not too surprising when the Quacks end up making a circular turn and going off-course. Jon Fairplay is supposed to use the rudder to steer, but that moron is using it as an oar, aiding the Quack boat in going off-course in no time. The Morgons are assembling the ladder when the Quacks are still trying to find their way home. Shawn has replaced Jon in the steering of the rudder, but it's too late.

The Feuhrer runs to the well - flop, flop, flop - while the Quacks finally return to the beach. Probby's greeting of "Welcome to the contest, glad you can join us" to them is pure bitchiness. I don't know why he calls the Feuhrer "Savage" though, and I suspect Colby is very interested on knowing just how much Probby knows firsthand of the "savage" beast in the Feuhrer. Take care of the Colbster, Probby, don't make him cry and run home to his Momma.

The Feuhrer places the idol on the tower and raises his arms wide in a victory gesture. The Morgons win the reward! Probby asks Hagrid if he wants to join the Morgons for a bath. Much to Ryan O's disappointment, Hagrid says he wants to go back to the Quacks. As he goes, he turns around and makes a "yeah, we rocked!" fist gesture to the Morgons.

The show follows the Morgons back to their camp. The Feuhrer says that the Morgons rock the game hard today. He says that while most of it is due to Hagrid, he says that the Morgons did well steering and rowing too. This is the first time he has seen the Quacks nervous, he adds. Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm still not feeling the love for this tribe. T&A presses the towels and soaps to her face and sighs happily. She can't wait to use them because she feels like the "nastiest" person on earth right now. She hasn't met Jon yet. Ryan O says that he normally won't go for "girly" scents of the soaps and shampoos they have won, but now, he's all for smelling all girly, especially now that's he in love, no doubt.

The Feuhrer says that the men have set up the shower at a palm tree and Darrah ugga-wuggas that there is no privacy but the men have thoughtfully look away when she is bathing. Yeah, and they're looking at some intricate set-up involving mirrors and peepholes right now, I bet. That Ryan O will just be the kind of the guy to do such a thing - I know a few lovable scamps like him back in my younger days. Hubby is delighted that finally there is some unblurred female nudity on the show, even if in this case it's Darrah bathing with hands or loofah artfully covering the bits that must be covered or the length of her naked back, waist up.

And Burnetto? Curse you, curse you you wretched bastard, for not showing me scenes of Ryan O's bathing. Curse you!

Back at the Quack camp, Trish half-compliments, half-accuses Jon of taking charge of the rudder. Jon ignores her - he's too busy hugging Hagrid. Hagrid's return is a cause for celebration as well as terpidation as the rest of the Quacks ask Hagrid to spill what he has learned about the Morgons. Hagrid talks about the wretched conditions of the Pits of Morgon. His shredding of Osten is especially satisfying: "Osten doesn't get in the water, doesn't go into the jungle, doesn't get water, doesn't get firewood." Jon asks Hagrid whether the Morgons try to recruit him. Because even if they did, Jon expects Hagrid to own up to it before everybody. Hagrid says they did not even bother because they know that Hagrid will never say yes and they also know that a Quack will win this. Hagrid sure likes talking about himself, I must say.

Hagrid wears Big Sandra's hat as he watches the Morgon looter approaching. When this looter turns out to be the Feuhrer, I can only imagine his disappointment at having getting prettied up for nothing. He tells the Feuhrer that okay, the Feuhrer can take anything he wants, but Hagrid will tell the man what to take. In a buddy-buddy way, of course. The Feuhrer says that the food supply in the Morgon camp is low, so he'll take a bag of rice. The two men begin going back and forth as to how much rice Hagrid will fill in that sack for the Feuhrer, but finally everyone leaves happy . Hagrid magnanimously compares the looting to him helping out a friend, a friend that just happens to have earned the right to take anything Hagrid is obliged to give, that is. The Feuhrer says that it's time to be diplomatic considering how the tribes will merge soon as there is a need for him to integrate and ingratiate himself towards the tribe that may end up the majority in the merged tribe. Then Hagrid is interviewed and he says that he's in control of both tribes. No, Hagrid, you're not. Seriously, they will all boot you off the moment the tribes merge. I will boot you off. At the rate he is going, he will be undefeatable in the Final Two. Only a seriously brain-damaged player will take Hagrid to the Final Two.

Day fifteen. Shawn and Jon go collect chest-mail - a shake glass. Shawn's shirt is unbuttoned and hanging off his shoulders. Some men will look good in this kind of dishabille, but these men are not Shawn Muggwitt. All I see is a greasy slab of oily meat on display. Ugh, take it away, please. Shawn reads the missive to the rest of this tribe. Ugh, zip it up, please. The Immunity Challenge is something about seafood feast. "We're eating, boys!" he concludes.

The Quacks reasonably conclude that they will eating some really gross food. Hagrid advises Trish to hold her nose and just gulp it down. He seems to know a lot about swallowing gross stuff. Michelle says that she can eat gross stuff, no problem. Since the tiebreaker will require the opposing tribe to choose a member from the other tribe to compete, a plan is hatched for Michelle to look squeamish so that she will be chosen by the Morgons during the tiebreaker. It's Jon's idea, by the way.

Later, Hagrid finds a snake and talks to it. Poor snake.

The Immunity Challenge takes place in a merry little clearing. Tribes sit on a bench each and watch as Probby shows a roulette thingie labelled with gross food ingredients. Each tribe member will come down and once Probby spins the Wheel of Fortitude, throws a colored ball onto the wheel. Two balls will land on two ingredients, and Probby will mix these two ingredients in a blender for both tribe members to drink.

Probby takes Bruce the Immunity Idol from "Savage" and stabs it into the ground. I'm sure the Feuhrer is impressed by Probby's come-on gesture.

First off, the Feuhrer versus Big Sandra. Sardines and bleeding clams are blended into a reddish smoothie. He even adds a sardine into each glass as garnishing. T&A gasps, "That's disgusting". Hagrid tells Sandra, "You like clams." Heh. The Feuhrer, like the rest of the Morgons that have been eating scums, dirt, and sand for the last twelve days, has no problems getting it down. Sandra gasps, chokes, gulps, and says she's going to be sick even as Cokecasta cheers her on to be strong. Still, she manages to swallow everything.

Ryan O versus Michelle. Into the blender go "Jeff's Special" (octopus) and razor clams. Michelle makes a great show of disgust but she gulps everything down quickly anyway. Ryan O is more interested in making Hagrid jealous by flirting with Michelle. He says that the smoothie smells great. He watches as Michelle gulps everything down and says that she has kicked his ass. Watching Michelle and hearing Ryan O's comment, Jon Fairplay melodramatically collapses onto Cokecasta's chest because Oh, Michelle Ruined The Plan.

Jon versus Darrah. Probby notices that Jon is doing that stupid finger gesture thingie that inspires one to respond with a less creative variation of a one-finger salute. He asks Jon what the heck the gesture is supposed to signify. The moron says that the finger gesture stands for "Jon Fairplay". Get it? I think one hand's two-fingers thing is supposed to be F and the other one is Y. F and Y, huh? F Y Jon. Probby looks as if he really regrets asking the question and no doubt he is imagining lovely things he is doing to Jon's face with the blender as he murders conch and coconut juice into one wholesome smoothie. Jon asks whether Darrah wants to kiss him before they drink. She looks as if she'd rather dip her face into the sewer first. Probby asks her in that oh-so-sweet way whether there is anything Jon can do to persuade her to take Jon if she is available. "Nothing," she says. Succint and to the point, I like that. "No offense," she tells Jon. "No offense but none," Hagrid chuckles from the seat. Jon, shameless, raises his glass to her before she drinks. I wonder whether he is insulting her - I think I should be insulted if a man raises a glass of vile stuff to me before drinking it - but I decide that Jon is too stupid to perform such comebacks. He finishes his and then make gagging sounds in hope that Darrah will choke and fail. You silly fool, you should have just strip naked. Then Darrah - and me and everyone else watching - will really be sick.

Cokecasta and Osten - squid and rock oyster. Osten gulps. Cokecasta wiggles her tongue at Probby, earning her a "Nicely done, you freak!" from Probby. Trish and T&A - Jeff's special and squid. Shawn and the Feuhrer - Jeff's special and red shellfish. Ryan O and Hagrid - sardine and rock oyster, but it's a toast to new love and new friendship all the same.

Then it's time for the tiebreaker. This time, the first person to down the smoothie wins immunity for his or her tribe. The Morgons choose Big Sandra, because Big Sandra is the only one that chokes a little at her attempt, and the Quacks choose Darrah. Probby concocts a really special smoothie - seawater, Jeff's special, clams, oysters, and as bonus, a piece of raw sardine that each person must eat. Darrah, a pro at this, downs everything just a few seconds faster than Big Sandra. Whoa, the Morgons win immunity! Say, Hagrid, what was that you're saying about you helping the Quacks win everything again?

Look - Ryan O kisses Bruce! At the very same place Hagrid always kisses that silly thing! I bet Hagrid taught him that, among other things.

The Quacks, for the first time having lost a challenge without throwing it, are gloomy as they sit around the camp awaiting the ax to fall on one of them. Big Sandra feels that she'll be blamed for the tribe's loss and be sent packing. Shawn and Jon, however, are talking and Jon is disgusted at Sandra because he says that the challenge is a "mind over matter" thing and Sandra's mind is smaller than a sardine. He is also angry at Michelle because Michelle screws up. Jon, you tool, trying taking small gulps of blended fish. And while we're at it, all of you saw Michelle's screw-up and all of you heard Ryan O saying Michelle kicked his ass. How come none of you then choose to act as a decoy yourself? He blames Michelle's ego for the Quacks' loss, and to prove it, shows his middle finger (blurred out, of course) as a gesture of what he thinks of Michelle's ego. From where I am sitting, the Quacks and the Morgons share one striking similarity: both tribes are so arrogant and cocky that they simply have to find someone else to blame for their own failures.

Shawn approaches Hagrid with the idea of booting Michelle. Hagrid is quite annoyed that someone dares talk about booting people off (instead of, you know, doing it anyway at Tribal Council) and growls that Shawn is already thinking of booting people off so soon. He warns in his interview that it can easily be Shawn leaving tonight. Hagrid, remember what the nurse told you about taking your meds regularly? Remember, discussing strategy on this show is not a crime against morality.

Michelle and Harid pow-wow. Michelle says that she works as hard as Shawn and she eats less than Shawn, so she'll be more "economical" asset, so to speak. She also says that the merge is near and it makes more sense to remove the physical threat Shawn. Then she has to throw up and runs from Hagrid to puke over a log. Hagrid follows her and sits beside her as she's bent over puking her guts out. He asks her for what they will say to make a case for Shawn's ouster. Um, Hagrid, she's throwing up. She can't answer you. In his interview, he says that he believes that Michelle makes a good case for herself.

Tribal Council time. Probby gloats that in just over a few days, the Quacks have lost three challenges and after tonight, two of its members. He asks Big Sandra to comment on her performance in the tiebreaker and she apologizes for it. If she goes tonight, she says, at least she knows why. Probby tries to strongly suggest that the Quacks get rid of Jon by hinting that Jon is an idiot with the rudder during the Reward Challenge. Jon instead gives a non-sequitur answer that pretty much reveals that the Quacks threw the last Immunity Challenge (the one that saw Burtman leaving). Probby tries to get them to admit that it is a bad idea to throw a challenge because, as Probby says, it gives the Morgons a new boost of confidence. Michelle dismisses this, conveniently forgetting that the Morgons won the two challenges after the Quacks' threw that one ill-fated Immunity Challenge. Hagrid however cuts in and says that throwing that last Immunity Challenge is the stupidest idea he's ever heard. He too does his share of his revisionist history - he sat out on that Challenge, so basically he too agrees to throw the Challenge. So why condemn what he willingly abetted? But to cover his ass, Hagrid says that he has learned "a lot" from his stay with the Morgons. What has he learned that is useful, I have no idea, but the Quacks are so into Hagrid's own myth that they nod with him. And then they vote.

Shawn - Michelle.

Michelle - Shawn. "I had to write this name down on the card, just for myself, because if anybody was going to jump ship, buddy, I think it's you. Hope you don't."

Hagrid - Michelle.

Big Sandra - Michelle.

Trish - Michelle.

Jon, again sauntering to the booth like a stinking fool - Michelle. "Michelle, you're a good girl, say hello to the bad guy.". Worst Survivor contestant ever.

Cokecasta - Michelle. Her confessional is not shown, but it is too good not to go unmentioned. Courtesy of Yahoo! Insider, Cokecasta says this to Michelle: "You've never ever talked to me and er, you've talked a lot about me and I'm sorry, but it's your time to go. You said there could only be one blonde on the island. I'm a fake blonde, but that's okay. I'll carry on without you, girl."

To the surprise of no one, Michelle goes. I question the decision of the rest of the tribe in keeping snakes (Shawn and Jon) over harmless snippy ice queens like Michelle, but then again, who knows what these people think? Judging from their actions so far, they never do stupid things only half-way. And judging from next week's preview, the ill-fated throwing of that Immunity Challenge will continue to dog the Quacks.

Michelle's last words? Blah blah blah enjoyed the experience blah blah blah wished she has lasted longer to kick some butt blah blah blah. Never mind, on with the next show.

Before YouTube, recapping music videos is totally a thing and not a waste of time. Really..

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