Main cast: Anthony Ilott (Danny), Chris Jarvis (Jackson), Aqueela Zoll (Toni), Sadie Katz (Sally), Rollo Skinner (Vic), Billy Ashworth (Rod), Harry Belcher (Charlie), Joe Gaminara (Bryan), and Roxanne Pallett (Jillian)
Director: Valeri Milev
Wait, we are down to the sixth movie already? It’s quite amusing how this one doesn’t even try to be even a little more high brow. The cannibal hillbillies now look exactly like extras wearing cheap rubber masks bought in bulk for a discount, and the cast is made up of basically “Who on earth are these people?” sorts. On the bright, it may be great news to some people that the ladies who get a credit mention all get topless scenes. Maybe that’s how they got in – all they have to do is to fill up a form stating that they agree to show those moneymakers.
A surly-looking failed Wall Street wannabe named Danny receives news that he has some family who run an inn in some forested region somewhere out there. He brings his annoying and overbearing girlfriend Toni along, as well as a friend Bryan and Bryan’s girlfriend Jillian, and three stupid guys who seem to be along for the ride to provide comic relief, which, by the way, isn’t happening anytime soon. As expected, the place is infested by cannibals and Danny soon discover that caretakers Jackson and Sally aren’t just part of his new family – they want him to help contribute his DNA to keep the family line pure! Danny has to choose between his new family and his friends, and choosing his family means that his friends would be dinner. Of course, the friends are already being killed off anyway, so whatever.
Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort is basically low budget horror with plenty of gratuitous and badly choreographed sex scenes tossed in to break the monotony. The characters are all dumb as dirt. I mean, hey, we find a secret passage leading down to weird temple-like place… I know, let’s have sex there! Surely, nothing can go wrong! I don’t know whether it is intentional or not, but Toni is hilariously stupid – she actually dooms all the people that remain with her because she insists on running off to get to Danny when any sane person would see that Danny isn’t into her any more – unless the “into” is via a fork into her stomach. She is overbearing in that she seems to believe that Danny exists to follow her every instruction on what he can do, what he should do, and even how late he can stay out with his new friends, so this is one annoying creature that is as death-worthy as can be. At any rate, in this movie, when someone has sex and that person isn’t named Danny, it’s guaranteed that person would bite the big one soon. It’s so predictable that way.
Still, there is a certain kind of campy charm to this one. The characters may be dumb and death-worthy, but the story is actually quite focused and coherent, even if Danny’s character arc is ultimately superficial and unconvincing. It’s not hard to see to see what is happening to Danny, though – his friends treat him like someone they take for granted when they are not being immature imbeciles that grate on his nerves, while Jackson and Sally seem to acknowledge his abilities and offer him a place to belong. The inn is a focus for him – a place to rebuild and develop. It’s a shame that Danny is played by a guy who looks like he’s stoned all the time – maybe he needs to dull the pain of knowing that he’s playing the lead role in such a movie – the character could have been more memorable if he had been played by someone who can act. Or is cuter – I’m shallow that way.
On the other hand, Jackson is exactly the deranged killer that I like. The guy playing him is cute too. Hey, I did say I’m shallow.
Anyway, this one is worth a watch if it shows up for rental or on cable one day, if only to kill time while giving the brain a rest. Just don’t buy it or watch a censored version (the sex scenes are hilariously bad, but the gore is quite cool), because that would rob it of all of its dubious charms.
Loves boys that sparkle, unicorns, money, Lego, chocolates, tasty buffets, video game music, and fantastical stories.