Main cast: Vinnie Jones (John Elliott), Christian Slater (Father Henry), Emily Tennant (Heather Elliott), Jake Croker (Robbie Mueller), Aren Buchholz (Greg), and Matt Kelly (Detective Fleming)
Director: Kevin Carraway
Vinnie Jones plays the father of Emily Tennant’s character. He has a thick British accent, she doesn’t. Neither does anyone else in this movie, so every time Vinnie Jones opens his mouth in this movie, I can only bite back a snicker. Come on, how about trying even a little harder?
Way of the Wicked is an Antichrist movie. Or is it? Robbie, a kid who is a target for bullies, just can’t seem to stay away from Emily, much to the ire of Emily’s boyfriend Greg. Greg is a jerk – aren’t they always? – but Robbie doesn’t make things better by generally stalking Emily with her friends. He could at least say hi, but no, he gives this creepy stare and generally has people thinking that he kills bunnies and violates their corpses for fun. So Greg and Robbie get physical, and Emily just stares sadly and wonders why her life is so tough. The thing is, people who cross Robbie’s path tend to die. And Greg soon dies.
Emily proceeds to complain to her father that he is oppressing her, life is unfair, so ugh, it’s so unfair. Robbie openly expresses how glad he is that Greg died to Emily’s father John, who is the local law enforcement officer, and I start to wonder whether every kid in this movie is a jerk or a dumb wretch. I know, they are teenagers, but this is why we need serial killers in this kind of movies, to kill off these annoying wretches. John can die too, as he’s such a typical douchebag that seeks to punish the victim of bullying just to sweep the whole issue away.
I look at the clock – it’s past the midway point in this movie and Christian Slater hasn’t shown up yet. I hope he isn’t paid by the hour. Oh there he is, with about 40 minutes of the movie left, to say the things that have been given away in the publicity material for this movie: he thinks Robbie is the Antichrist, ooh. He’s not in this movie long, so why is he on the poster again? I guess it’s probably because Vinnie Jones’s visage is one whom only a mother can love.
The thing is, I saw the twist coming ten minutes into the movie, and the acting from all parties involved, especially Jake Croker, is just horrible. That fellow overacts to an embarrassing degree. Also, the script by Matthew Robert Kelly (who also has a role in this movie) borrows heavily materials from other “bullied teen turns monster” films and yet the direction by Kevin Carraway is so sluggish that Way of the Wicked is for the most part some kind of Carrie-meets-The Omen wannabe on tranquilizer. And the end message of the movie is, basically, women are not worth it and they won’t appreciate all the sacrifices you make for them. Sigh.
Way of the Wicked needs to be more wicked and less wretched.
Loves boys that sparkle, unicorns, money, Lego, chocolates, tasty buffets, video game music, and fantastical stories.