Voodoo Academy (2000)

Posted by Mrs Giggles on December 26, 2001 in 3 Oogies, Film Reviews, Genre: Horror & Monster

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Voodoo Academy (2000)
Voodoo Academy (2000)

Main cast: Debra Mayer (Mrs Bouvier), Riley Smith (Christopher Sawyer), Chad Burris (Reverend Carmichael), Kevin Calisher (Billy Parker), Huntley Ritter (Rusty Sankervich), Ben Indra (Mike McCready), Drew Fuller (Paul St Clair), Travis Sher (Sam Vollero), and Rhett Jordan (Blake Godfrey)
Director: David DeCoteau

Voodoo Academy is an awful B-grade horror movie complete with sexploitation of its cast. But hold your drools, boys – unless you want to see gratuitous sight of hunky boys in tight white shorts, boxer briefs, whatever, rubbing their hands all over their own body, stay away. Now do I hear a “Yay!” from the male-appreciation society crowd?

The plot, if you care, is about this evil couple, Mrs Bouvier and Reverend Carmichael run a boarding school. But not so fast – this school is merely a front for their evil deeds. They lure virginal young men into the school and turn them into voodoo dolls to please some dark powers. I’m not joking. The dolls, by the way, look like tiny chubby mummy Gumbies with human heads. Cute.

The dialogues are atrocious and hammy (“No, I’m not going to calm down all right? Something’s going down here and I don’t know what it is. Last night all five of you guys were tossing and turning and then Rusty got up and walked away in his underwear.”), bad enough, but the cast must speak their lines in even hammier cackling or mumbling. But who cares? All eyes are glued to these young almost-naked and – according to the script, virginal and innocent – muscular men bouncing around the screen in their tight boxer briefs. Look! Young man #1 rubs himself in his tight chest as he dreams some erotic dream! Look! Young men #2 and #3 in the same bathroom reenacting some gay porno pre-heavy-meaningless-sex scene (no gay sex though, sorry guys) as they talk and touch each other in oh so innocent ways! Young man #3 gets rubbed oil all over his yummy muscular back! And don’t get me started about the good reverend strapping on latex gloves before massaging oil over that young man.

I do feel dirty. But hey, it’s all good, sordid, filthy fun. What a surprise. I expected a bad T&A movie with all naked women getting carved up by mad men or something, but instead I get this delightful lil’ sexploitation flick that focus on the guys for a change.

Voodoo Academy is hilariously bad, bad, bad (really bad) when it comes to art, but for first class entertainment, yummy. If you’re tired of Sorority Horny Nympho Massacre because female flesh is not your type, and you’re too embarrassed to use your Daddy’s credit card to order Gay Young Men Car Wash: Shining the Knobs, go ahead and get this one. It’s only a horror movie. Really!

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