Avon True Romance, $4.99, ISBN 0-06-000553-X
Historical Romance, 2003
I don’t know if the fact that Victoria Arbuthnot acts like a spoiled, petulant, whiny brat throughout the entire book is a recommendation or a slam against Victoria and the Rogue. After, this is a book geared towards teenaged girls and I bet some of them will think that Victoria is, like, the best ever. Readers who like their characters acting outside the stomping-pouting-petulant mould should best look elsewhere.
Our little miss Queen Victoria, all of 16, has been raised in India and is currently on her way to England to marry a Lord, Duke, Earl, or some other titled future drunkard. She has her eyes set on being the child bride of Hugo Rothschild, the ninth earl of Malfrey. But that captain of the ship, Jacob Carstairs is annoying. Very, very annoying! So much so that she agrees to marry Hugo just to spite Jacob, and there she goes.
Everything that happens in this book happen because Queen Vicky here wants to spite Jacob and is throwing a hissyfit over it or Jacob baiting Queen Vicky mercilessly. What’s the point? All I get is two people screeching, sniping, and throwing sulky fits all over the place. Then they kiss and suddenly it’s love. As if. Like, get real!
When I close the book, I find myself thinking that kiddies like Queen Vicky and Jacob should be doing their homework or something. Why are they getting married? They aren’t even capable of rational discussion!
Even more disturbing is the ending scene, where Jacob haughtily says that he loves her, which is why he refuses to pamper and cherish her like that insincere fop Malfey. Listen to Ms Cabot girls: that handsome boy who insults you, belittles you in public, calls you names, and like totally treat you like dung? He’s in love with you. Really. Sleep with him, wait for him to call, burst into tears when he shows up at the prom with that slutty Miss Pamela Burcharach whose father owns the school, and then write a letter to Ms Cabot telling her: “You lied! Bitch!” I don’t think she will give you a refund, though.