Unan1mous: Finale

Aaaah! A new day begins - or at least, that's what the show is trying to tell me by showing me a scene of the sun coming out from behind the clouds. The entire show could be filmed in four days for all I know. The camera lingers on Tarah who's asleep and then comes the female announcer telling everyone to wake up and get the show done and over with. Vanessa, looking really weary, says that she'd just like the whole thing to be done and over with. She thinks there are too many twists in this game. Sure there is. How else will the producers put together a show without giving its competitors too much money at the end of the day? By inventing all kinds of rules to make sure that the money dwindles as much as possible! It's all simple, really. If this show is a legitimate unscripted TV show, the winners at the end of the day are JD and the other producers that manage to cobble this show together and yet avoid paying the promised $1,500,000 grand prize.

Meanwhile, Jonathan thinks that nobody will get any money at the end of the day.

Tarah however feels more upbeat even though the money has dwindled to slightly over $350,000 - she tells Jameson in their private chit-chat that she may have annoyed many people by bringing herself back into the game but she's ready to start playing again. She wants to reassure Jameson that she puts herself back in not because she wants to offend Jameson or anything. Jameson tells her not to worry about other people because this is indeed just a game. He also says that he now wants her to win rather than playing for the money himself. I really don't know why so many of these people believe that winning the money comes with big responsibilities to be better people or what not - as far as I'm concerned, you deserve the money if you can win it and when you do, you can very well do whatever you want with it since it is, after all, your money.

And now, it's back to the Inner Circle. JD reminds them that they are supposed to reach an unanimous vote and gosh, it seems like it's hard to give money since about $750,000 is down the drain. He then reveals the latest twist: by tomorrow, the money will go down to zero so this is the last Inner Cirle. It looks like the Herd must really give someone the money or they will all go home empty-handed. JD says that he will freeze the clock and let the Herd leave the Inner Circle to think about who they want to unanimously vote for. JD also reminds them that the Herd will have to go home by tonight. Maybe because the producers are running out of money to pay the rent for the studio where this show is being filmed or something. That or the kids in the filming crew have to go back to school since the summer holidays are almost over. Something like that, I suppose.

Steve says to the camera that many people don't understand that their only "job" on this show is to give an unanimous vote. No, stupid, they are supposed to win the money. But the show is ending and really, at this point I don't care if Steve says that they are all supposed to go fly kites in the middle of a very busy highway. Let's just get the show over with. Steve then confronts Adam, saying that their task is to make an unanimous vote rather than playing the game, blah blah fat stupid oaf blah. Steve tells the camera that people are "pissing" him off because they are just sitting there and letting the money dwindle to nothing. Perhaps he's trying to say that they should just someone the money and leave. Many of them certainly look like they would rather leave and never see each other again rather than keep playing to win the money.

Steve now tells Tarah, Vanessa, and Jameson that America will appreciate them carrying out the task they are responsible for... bwahahahaha. Um, sorry, but Steve is seriously a whackjob if he believes that America cares about this stupid show in any way. Steve talks about how it will be irresponsible to give the money to Jonathan who drives a Mercedes or Richard who has "no responsible bone in his body". Steve then says that Jameson has a partner so he has two sources of income. Tarah, however, is single so she deserves the money more in Steve's opinion. Tarah thanks him and tells the camera that she thinks people are so tired of fighting that they just want to vote and be done with it. Yes, but I also believe that Steve genuinely thinks he is given some important responsibility to right some social imbalance or something. He's seriously stupid. How can you simply generalize that a single person is poorer than a person who is married? It's a good thing that Steve will go back to his dead-end jobs of driving trucks at the end of the day, because he clearly doesn't have the brainpower to do anything more than that. By the way, a funny thing happens in this scene: Vanessa is seated with Steve, Tarah, and Jameson when Steve starts talking, but when Steve stops talking, Vanessa has morphed into Jonathan. I wonder how many takes is required to film this scene.

The female announcer reveals that the Herd have two hours to come to a conclusion. Jonathan tells Adam that they should just go ahead and vote so that they can all leave at the end of the day. Meanwhile, Steve tells Vanessa about how selfish people are determined to keep some unfortunate person away from the money - the usual. I think this is the first time Steve ever finds himself in a position to make some kind of decision because his ridiculous attitude of misplaced self-importance is akin to some poor idiot who has been ridiculed and denigrated all his life getting all power-hungry and maniacal because for the first time in his life he is given the illusion that what he says or does will matter. Vanessa tells the camera that she doesn't think that people really know why they are giving Tarah the money - they've just decided to do that so that they can all go home. She's most likely correct in that count. Richard tells Tarah that he has "resigned" himself to be the unselfish one because he doesn't want to be "attacked by the vipers anymore". Aww, come on, I'm sure Steve genuinely believes that he is actually helping poor unfortunate Tarah to become a better person.

Back to Jonathan, he tells Adam that Tarah doesn't yell and she plays the game so hey, why not. Adam however thinks that Tarah has screwed him twice in the game so he's not giving her a cent. He and Adam bump into Jameson where Adam announces that he's the only one in the Bunker who has "played with integrity". "Integrity" is the new useful catchword to use when you have clearly no idea what you're talking about, it seems. Jameson then talks about respect, which is to say, Adam would do the same if he's Tarah (to put himself back in the game, that is), so Adam should understand what Tarah did instead of raving that she has betrayed him. Thirty minutes before the last vote, Adam and Steve actually end up doing some weird semi-friendly bantering as they dare each other to guess what they are thinking. To the camera, Adam says that he is not sure whether he wants to let the unanimous vote happen. To the others, he says that he can get his revenge on Tarah by disrupting the unanimous vote, causing Jonathan to grin but Steve to rant to the camera about selfish people "cheating" Tarah of her money. I hold my breath, reminding myself that I don't have to see this braindead jerk again at the end of this season, and exhale deeply.

Ten minutes before the final vote. Everyone just sit around looking tensed. Tarah talks about being tense and how her life will about to change, although she's worried about whatever fiendish tricks that may arise. Vanessa wonders whether "unpredictable" Adam will go along with the group in the unanimous vote.

The announcer calls the Herd to the Inner Cirle where JD tells them to consider their decision carefully and vote. So the vote begins, and they are all about to drop their sphere when Adam changes his votes. Everyone is stunned and Jameson goes to the camera, "Oh my God." But Adam is actually changing his vote to Tarah because when JD reads the votes, Tarah gets six votes, enough for her to go home with $382,193. A box comes up at the head of the table for Tarah. She takes it to her seat and opens it to take out a...

Wait, intermission time. Richard says that he'd love it if every one of them gets something more than the satisfaction of "doing the right thing". Is he not-so-subtly asking for money? He also thinks that they are all "champions". I hate to correct his delusion. He's a pretty alright fellow - a whackjob, of course, but in a nice way compared to that loathsome Steve. Tarah says that if she wins, she'd give her family what they have given her. Whether or not this is a lot or nothing, only she will know. Adam says that he'd love to come back and play the game again because he's had the best time ever. Oh, Adam, I don't know what to say. Maybe he should get the number of Richard's shrink or something.

Back to the Bunker, Tarah takes out a check and everyone then pats himself or herself in the back for "giving a gift", that kind of thing. JD says that the seven of them have "proven" that "generosity is better than greed". Huh? That's it. The Herd then leave the Bunker and all I get is a whackjob message about how it is better to give than to receive?

I'm really annoyed, I tell you. What happened to the sadistic show that I tuned in to watch? Why weren't there any more embarrassing secrets or sadistic pitting of people against each other? Why or why did this show instead mutate into a watered-down and badly-edited Big Brother wannabe? Did JD and his buddies chicken out halfway, fearing that their show would be too cruel for the masses, and serve instead this pointless attempt of a Santa Claus greeting card?

Of course, it could all be a con job. JD and his buddies get some easy money out of this cheap stupid show, while laughing about how they've slapped the audience at the end of the day with a "selfishness is no good" message that frankly makes a mockery out of the whole show, and everyone else who took part and watched this piece of crap was taken for a ride. The first three episodes are great, but the last few episodes are a different show entirely from the early episodes. This show would have been so great if they followed the direction that those early more sadistic episodes were taking. Oh well, I've spent way more time on this show than it deserves. Thanks for staying to the end with me. Here, have a lollypop. We both deserve one for watching this stupid, stupid show.

My Favorite Pages

Search for more rubbish:

My Guestbook Return to Idiot Box Chatter Email