Liquid Silver Books, $3.99, ISBN 978-1-62210-252-5
Contemporary Romance, 2015
Raphaella Lawson heads over to renovate a client’s place, only to realize that the property in question is at a remote island, there is a big hole in the roof, and the storm gets everything and everyone wet. The reclusive owner L Marcus Kace also gets her feeling a little drenched too, and they are soon having sex and feeling so, so happy. The end.
There, I’ve summed up the short little thing that is Tropical Rendezvous. The story would have been even shorter with if the author hadn’t padded things up with interior monologues about silly things, or characters dwelling on every minute detail in a long-winded manner.
It’s best not to overthink too much when it comes to this story. Otherwise, you may end up wondering whether the hero sleeps with the heroine to get free labor and materials for the renovation at a lower cost. Or that she sleeps with him to extend her vacation at a tropical island with an amazing beach. Or that the author may have written this thing quickly while hoping that it will make her plenty of money to finance her own vacation to a tropical island paradise. Nothing wrong with that last bit, of course, but still, there is no reason why this thing has to be this flimsy and superficial, no?
There, I’m done with the review. Still, I suppose I should pad things up a bit to make coming here worth your while. What shall we talk about? Hmm… oh, I know! You really should watch American Horror Story: Hotel. Personally, I bailed on the American Horror Story after the second season, because it’s pretty clear that everything Ryan Murphy and friends touch would turn putrid and it is only a question of when, not if, the putrid stuff settles in. But trust me, this one is worth watching if you like tall, brooding clean-cut guys because there are about five or six guys who, while looking alike after a while, happily posture on screen like they are in a soft core flick. Gratuitous skin galore, baby, and that’s not counting that crazy fellow running around with a drill codpiece waiting to literally bugger any poor guy he can catch to death.
So, even if you give this story a miss, go watch that show. Wes Bentley looks hot in a “I just came out of rehab and am trying to stay clean, but it’s so hard!” way. Matt Bomer shows off his bubble butt, Finn Wittrock does too, and both of them spend a lot of time without a shirt. That’s just in the space of two episodes. This one is definitely for the folks who like to look at men, because the only eye candy for those who like the ladies is… Lady Gaga wearing pasties over her nipples. I have to admit, though, Lady Gaga cavorting with those men (not at the same time, alas) on a bed that is soaked with blood, flanked by dead bodies – man, those scenes are so hot. I am actually jealous of her. Well, a bit.
Where was I again? Oh yes, so watch American Horror Story: The Soft Core Naked Male Flesh Worship Hotel and.. uh… I guess you can read this story during the break when you need to sit on the toilet bowl or something.