Kimani, $6.50, ISBN 978-0-373-86316-7
Contemporary Romance, 2013
To Tame a Wilde can stand alone in a way, but a quick primer for folks unfamiliar with the whole premise and wondering why a Wilde in Wyoming series is set in Hawaii: originally, there were three books featuring adopted sons of some Wilde guy that run a ranch together. This is one of two “extra” books, where it was discovered that Papa Wilde’s baby batter worked some magic and created two hot twin sons ages ago, and now there are two additional guys to add to the series. So here it is, the story of the final unmarried (so far) Wilde guy: Nickolas Kealoha.
Nick has decided to stir the pot and make some demands on the Wilde ranch in Wyoming, seeing that he and his twin brother Keanu have legitimate claims on that ranch. Actually, he has lost interest in pursuing the drama when the story opens, but he keeps at it anyway because of one person: Sinclair Adams, a family friend of the Wildes in Wyoming and the lawyer representing them. He hasn’t actually met her in person yet, but oh dear, her photos and her voice make him bounce all over the place in thwarted desire.
And he’d promptly had one of the hottest dreams he’d had as an adult male. He had woken up with his shaft, again, in his hand, his seed spilled over his stomach.
Fortunately for everyone, the shaft is still attached to his crotch.
Even more fortunate, Sinclair is equally randy for Nick after seeing his pictures and all, and her underwear is constantly wet as a result of just thinking about him. Therefore, Nick touching himself every time he reads her emails or talks to her over Skye isn’t a one-sided show of creepy behavior. After all, he’s hot, so he can’t be creepy.
So they eventually meet, have sex, and be happy. Yes, that’s basically the plot.
Just like the last book, this one has the main characters just standing there – really – and engaging in mental lusting that lasts paragraphs. This is a good way to fill up a story that could have been resolved in a short story format if everyone involved would move a bit faster, but it doesn’t make for some interesting read. It doesn’t help that the writing is pedestrian and repetitive, with the use of catchwords such as “swagger” showing up often to replace actual need for elaboration in the narrative. I have no problems with swag in the narrative, but the author only going one-third of the way, so that “seed” and “swagger” sit side by side like the efforts of someone who tackles midlife crisis by embracing her inner Miley Cyrus but is still afraid that she won’t be invited anymore to the neighborhood potluck dinners. Instead of going all SMS and bangerz on a wrecking ball, this one ends up being just… weird to read.
Just like the last book, this one has a heat level that is higher than a typical Kimani book – just the two lines I quoted above trump almost every “sexy” scene in the average Kimani book – but the sexy times aren’t very well done at all. They seem more clinical than sensual, mostly because the author is writing like she’s just going through the motions. In fact, these characters’ constant lusting for one another gets tedious to follow after a while, as they as so repetitive. Then again, this story is repetitive. Every pertinent scrap of information is repeated at least three times, along with every description of the main characters’ physical perfection.
Perhaps it is well that the story is so superficial, as it makes the premise of a lawyer happily sleeping with the “enemy” much easier to suspend one’s disbelief to. Like everything else, I’m told repeatedly that Sinclair is an awesome lawyer, but she doesn’t do much other than to lust and put on hot make-up to make Nick pop all over the place.
Plot and pacing are secondary to the sexy times here, but the sexy times are so boring and awkward. There’s not much, therefore, in To Tame a Wilde that is worth dropping by for.