Class Comics, $4.95
Horror Erotica, 2006
Before you ask, yes, I had to blur out a few things on the cover art because I don’t want this website to be flagged as a place suitable only for people over a certain age and with certain proclivities. Remember, this is a wholesome family-friendly site, and therefore any engorged, oversized penises attached to muscular men as well as tentacled-monsters need to blurred out to prevent innocent eyes from being tainted by the malign influences of the Great Old Ones. The last thing we need is impressionable kiddies throwing themselves into the octopus tanks in Seaworld while screaming, “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!”
The Pornomicon is gay smut, of course, if the cover hasn’t betrayed that already, and yes, it involves tentacled monsters bent on all kinds of naughty antics, consent not necessary. From the days shortly after the Crusade, when a knight brings back a mysterious book of sinister powers, to the present day, when the book passes on to a cultist of the dread Great Old One Cthulhu, this one features muscular, chiseled, square-jawed men tailored after the aesthetics of Tom of Finland and Julius getting violated and even killed by muscular, chiseled, squared-jawed monsters with tentacles coming out of… everywhere. You know, I never realized that avatars of Cthulhu have such perky nipples. Ahem.
Anyway, there isn’t much story here, but it certainly has many… interesting… scenes that fall squarely under a specific fetish under Rule 34. The Japanese may have this particular market cornered, but Logan shows that Western civilized porn can worship the durability and flexibility of the tentacle as well as those people should it become necessary to rise to the occasion. In fact, this one looks very nice if you’re into the whole muscular daddy aesthetic, and my, I never knew till now how lovely a Cthulhu tattoo can look when it’s lovingly encircling the girthy mast of a demented worshiper of a monstrous demigod.
My only issue here is that the party is over when it seems to have just started warming up. Ugh. A part of me wishes that The Pornomicon had been longer – a full-length porn-ification of HP Lovecraft’s stories, perhaps?
The Pornomicon is a frustratingly short but lovely blending of smut and horror, and the artwork along with the color scheme are so nice to look at. Even the ridiculously oversized pee-pees for once make sense here, as hello, monster penises are on the loose. If you like this kind of thing, or if you are feeling like a real trip down the wild and creepy side this upcoming Halloween, these horny murderous tentacled-dudes are at your service.