Main cast: Alexia Fast (Jess), Jesse Metcalfe (Brady), Tom Maden (Lance), Cinta Laura Kiehl (Nicole), Timothy V Murphy (Silas), Veronica Dunne (Christy), Sabina Gadecki (Tina), Corey Large (Malcolm), and David Hennessey (Marty)
Director: Corey Large
The Ninth Passenger is directed, scripted, and produced by Corey Large, who also gave himself a role in the movie. Is this some kind of vanity project? It sure comes off like one!
Basically, this movie is about a bunch of moron thirty-year old teenagers on a luxury yacht owned by some creepy dude, along with Brady that clearly has an agenda because he’s the only one not acting up like a fool. Oh, and there may or may not be some sea monster waiting to eat these people up.
For the most part, though, the movie focuses way too much on people generally acting like refugees from a CW show, complete with actors that look like they have been manufactured in some factory that mass produces such generic wretches with that same look, same mannerism, and same lack of acting talent. The monster, or whatever it is, is never shown completely. Normally, this isn’t a bad thing, but considering how this movie takes great pains to show anything but horror moments—very likely a sad effort to save money—this movie only ensures that there is nothing closely resembling the horror movie it claims to be. No scares, nothing at all.
Worst of all, the ending is just lame, and the most annoying character survives. This is the final insult and the final nail in the coffin, because that character has been getting on my nerves so much that I was cheering for that wretch’s death. To have that wretch lives all the way to the credits… ugh.
I could make some lame get off the ship line to end this review, but seriously, don’t even bother getting on it in the first place.