SURVIVOR

All-Stars Episode 12: Stupid People. Stupid, Stupid People

Previously on one of the most unexciting seasons of Survivor ironically called All-Stars Survivor, Kathy makes peace with the Robfather and her inner dumb just in time for her boot. Now, only one original Ego Ego is left: the Shii Devil. Her boot is imminent. Can she save herself? Stay tuned... or not. I hear there are plenty of fun things one can do when one hits the town at night. Something about getting drunk, getting high, dancing with cute guys, getting laid, and regretting everything when one goes to work the next day with a horrid hangover and vomits all over the boss.

Credits. Only a few more weeks before they announce the new season. Where has all the time gone? Down the drain, I know.

Morning, day twenty-nine. It is raining and poor Shii Devil is sitting all by her lonesome self before lamenting to the camera about how she is all by her own now that all her tribemates are gone. The Tribal Council last night was so "emotional" because the "smug" original Cheapos have voted our Crazy Kathy, oh the nerve! A Pagong is imminent, she laments. Oh, that lady is definitely a fan of the show and she hangs out on online forums if she adopts the jargon so easily. It seems strange then that she's so clueless about her own gameplay. It's not the original Cheapos' fault that they weed out the original Egos the first chance they get. Why should they care about people that will not help them advance their own gameplay? They don't need the Egos, therefore they don't need to save the Egos. Lex Loser and Crazy Kathy allowed the Pagonging to happen by ditching their own tribemate for petty reasons and foolish expectations. Since the Shii Devil is all for booting Jerri in favor of keeping Ambore, she's very much to blame for her own predicament. As the camera shows her walking along the beach looking very much like someone who hears that they are going to repossess everything because she can't afford to pay the brain trust people, she calls Kathy her only friend and even her "rock", the "rock" part because the Shii Devil is a barnacle that needs to stick herself onto some support. Or wait, maybe that's not a barnacle, that's a limpet. Whatever. The Shii Devil is still useless be she a limpet, barnacle, or slime moss.

She decides to strategize with the Robfather. This is like a cow walking up to Farmer Joe to ask Farmer Joe, "Hey, ever think of becoming a vegan?" because she just asks him whether he is sticking with his original allies or he is open to other options. Hmm, what kind of "options" is she offering him anyway? Whatever it is, he is not interested. He unsurprisingly tells her that he is sticking with his allies. He does suggest that she tries to win Immunity later. She agrees. He only half-jokingly tells her to watch out as he intends to win it too. Sensing that she is not going anywhere, she decides to "stir things up", as she tells the camera, by suggesting to the Robfather that he will most likely not be in the Final Two if he keep things up. Yes, the nitwit is going to make him feel even more driven to win the Immunity that she needs desperately. The Robfather is keeping a very polite front as he pretends to listen while he checks his nails. The Shii Devil decides to regroup to fight another day and wishes him the luck that she really doesn't want him to have. Oh well.

The Robfather calls a pow-wow, gathering his minions - which excludes the Shii Devil, of course - and repeats her conversation with him. He tells them that while she is babbling, he is going all sarcastically "Well thank you!" in his mind. He tells them the obvious: she must not win Immunity by any chance. She must go.

It is now time for the Immunity Challenge. The missive that comes along with a mask talks about winning food. Alicia hopes that they will eat a lot of food because it is already one day since their last banquet and they must be starving, those poor things. Big Red Tom puts on the mask and jumps and dances around while going "Uga! Uga!" While others laugh, the Robfather rolls up his eyes and mutters under his breath, "Dumbass". My sentiments exactly. Meanwhile, Hagrid is telling everyone what he imagines the challenge will be. I guess he must have watched Survivor Amazon because he is describing the mask Immunity Challenge that Dr Dave failed to win that led to his elimination.

And it turns out that he is right when they walk into the clearing where Jeff "My Name Is Not Jessica" Proboscis awaits them with the exact set-up as the Amazonian Immunity Challenge. To let everyone know that he is right, he cackles "heh heh heh heh heh" in the same way that Scooby Doo villains do when they have the Mystery Inc gang surrounded in a spooky pirate cave. He is the only one laughing however, and I suspect this won't be the first time that happens in his life.

Since "All-Stars" means Burnetto can pay tribute to every previous season by reusing the Challenge props (translation: cutting costs), the rules of this Reward Challenge is very similar to the Amazonian Immunity Challenge: the Survivors answer some questions, and every answer they get correct gives them a chance to cut down one of the three ropes keeping a log from smashing a mask done to the likeness of each Survivor. This time though, the questions are based on a questionnaire which each Survivor must answer first. They must not discuss the answers. Then, Probby collects the questionnaires, checks the results, and then asks the Survivors questions from the same questionnaire. The Survivor must now guess the answer given by the most Survivors to each question. It's like Family Feud, in a way. The last person standing with his or her mask still intact wins the Reward.

The Reward is a yummy feast in a Panamanian restaurant. Everyone gets to go! Ah, but the catch here is that the winner will get to decide who gets to eat what. The quality of the dishes range from the best (steak) to the worst (plain rice and a glass of water from the camp). In short, this is one Challenge where anyone with half a brain will quickly throw if he or she doesn't want to be put in the spotlight to make uncomfortable decisions that could reveal his gameplans. In short, this is a Challenge especially created for idiots like Hagrid to win.

Probby asks who they will trust with their life. It turns out that most of them trust the Robfather with their lives, but only Ambore and Alicia believe that most of everyone else think so. Heh, does that mean that the Survivors think that they know the Robfather is a special way that nobody knows? The Robfather is modest too - he thinks that everyone else trusts Hagrid with his or her lives. Oh please - I won't trust Hagrid to douse me out when I'm on fire, he'll be too busy digging a hole and asking me to throw myself into it. The Robfather on the other hand seems like the kind who will drive the fire engine to get to me - he may exact a price for his favors, but... mmmm, favors. Oh, where was I again?

The Shii Devil makes a pained face and sighs when Alicia cuts down one of the Shii Devil's ropes. Ambore exacts revenge on Big Red Tom for stealing her pot two Immunity Challenges ago by cutting one of his. No, a real pot, not the kind Big Red Tom may or may not have growing in his farm. Oh just read the recap if you've forgotten that incident already!

Probby asks the next question. Who doesn't deserve to be on All-Stars Survivor. Wow, the answer will encompass two-thirds of this season's cast. It turns out that the answer is a tie between Alicia and the Shii Devil. Everyone predicts correctly (Alicia predicts the Shii Devil, the Shii Devil predicts Alicia - heh, heh). Alicia takes a swipe at the Robfather. JennaLoo gives Big Red Tom one. The Shii Devil repays Alicia one. Ambore takes a cut at JennaLoo. Hagrid of course goes for the Shii Devil. Big Red Tom takes a swipe back at JennaLoo. The Robfather sends Big Red Tom out of the game. Oops.

Probby asks them to name the person who uses his or her sex appeal as a weapon. Ooh, the Robfather? No, it turns out that everyone guesses (correctly) that Ambore will be the femme fatale in question, including Ambore herself. They all find this very funny, and they should, because so far only the Robfather is enjoying Ambore's favors and everyone else is just a beggar boy with his nose pressed against the window. Alicia decides to swipe one at Ambore. JennaLoo avenges herself on Ambore. The Shii Devil beheads (as Probby puts it) JennaLoo out of the game. Ambore cuts Alicia. All this while the Shii Devil is pointing out that Hagrid hasn't gotten any cuts yet (because everyone wants that idiot to win, duh), so Hagrid takes this as a personal insult and cuts her one, sending her out of the game. The Robfather says that there is no use keeping "stragglers" around and sends Alicia out of the game. If I'm Alicia, I'll be very curious at the reason why Robfather is calling me a "straggler". Meanwhile, three remains - Ambore, Hagrid, and the Robfather.

Who is under the false assumption that they are smart? That's the next question, and it turns out that the answer is Alicia, whom nobody - including an increasingly irritated Alicia - guesses. Hagrid thinks that it will be he, by the way, while other answers were obvious targets Big Red Tom (Ambore) and JennaLoo (the Robfather).

Probby asks whom they will trust with their life. The Robfather answers himself - I really think he is throwing this one as he has a mischievous smile on his face as he reveals his answer. No, the correct answer is Hagrid, and Ambore and Hagrid gets it right. Hagrid chops down the Robfather. Ambore apologizes as she protects his consort by sending him out of the game. Hagrid preens. He is winning this thing, cool!

The last question is who they think can't shut up. JennaLoo, duh. She knows it too, and she laughs along with the others. Because Ambore has two cuts already and Hagrid has none, Hagrid wins the Reward Challenge! Woo-hoo! Now the others can smirk and sit back to eat. Come on, Hagrid will give them the good stuff and the cheap one to the Shii Devil, so in a way, everyone in the original Cheapora wins.

Back at camp, Alicia is sulking. The Robfather explains to the camera that Alicia's ego has taken a beating today when she's named the least deserving All-Star Survivor and also someone who is not as smart as she think she is. He says that people say such things for good reasons and therefore she ought to reexamine herself. Well, thank you for the insight, Mr Sensitive and Enlightened Gentleman. Back at camp, the Survivors are trying to do a postmortem dissection, The Breakfast Club-style, about their thoughts of each other. Alicia is still unhappy. She tells the camera that it is "never fun" to hear things about herself that aren't "flattering" from other people. Oh, poor Alicia, always taking things too personally. JennaLoo, ever the cheerleader, asks her back in camp whether she is okay and she gets growled at as a response.

JennaLoo tells her that she's called a motormouth so Alicia isn't the only one who had unflattering remarks made to her. Alicia tells her that JennaLoo can't compare them because JennaLoo isn't the one called undeserving and obtusely arrogant. Ambore tells the camera that Alicia is dragging everyone into her sulk party for one and at this point in the game, people are ready to vote her out if only because they are tired of dealing with her moods. JennaLoo now tries to console Alicia one more time. Alicia waves her off and tells the camera that JennaLoo is one of Them that write Alicia's name down as an undeserving All-Star Survivor and as someone who thinks she is smarter than she really is, so she is insincere and therefore the last person Alicia wants to go to for cheering up. I know where she is coming from, but at this stage of the game, the last thing she needs to be is an emotional basketcase that will alienate her tribemembers.

JennaLoo, ever the perky la-la pom-pom girl, now heads over to give Hagrid some prep talk. She tells him to just create a list and follow the order in the list when he delegates the meals. Hagrid whines that he wishes that he hasn't won because he thinks that he letting the pecking order be known back in Pearl Islands is what got him booted the last time around. Wow, he does have some self-awareness after all! JennaLoo tells him not to be a martyr - he should take the best meal for himself. Oh please, being a martyr is Hagrid's entire gameplan on Survivor. He enjoys being the unappreciated worker so that he can make a lot of noise and draw attention to himself. Indeed, he now gives a confessional where he whines that he has started to realize that the game is "geared" to "create hard feelings" in every contestant involved. Wow, only now does he realize that?

Later that day, they arrive at the The Panamian restaurant in question where Probby is the ever-smiling maitre d' guy. The restaurant is like a resort outdoor little shack thingie. What I don't understand is why Burnetto doesn't let these people dress up a little in some of their spare fancy outfits for the occasion. They look stupid in their washed-up worn-out buffs and frayed pants, like an invasion of an abbatoir by a scraggly pack of rotting zombies. Anyway, the meals in question turn out to be steak and shrimps, cold potatoes, ham and cheese sandwich, salad, a big hot dog and a glass of orange juice, burger and fries, and of course the plate of cold rice and camp water. Hagrid chooses the steak. Probby tells him that as a winner, Hagrid is also entitled to a free-flow of drinks from the open bar, and no, he can't share the drinks with the others.

Hagrid tells the Robfather to choose his dish, and the Robfather chooses the burger and fries. JennaLoo picks the hot dog and orange juice. Ambore takes the sandwich. Alicia takes the salad. I don't know why the Shii Devil is rolling her eyes at this. It's not as if she's getting anything but the rice anyway, and if she thinks otherwise, she's delusional. Big Red Tom looks very displeased when he is offered the choice of the remaining dishes - cold potatoes or rice. He chooses the potatoes. "Yes, leave the Asian girl with the rice," the Shii Devil whines. Oh shut up, twit. It's her fault anyway that she is at the bottom of the hierarchy. She should've thought of that before stupidly letting Lex and Kathy do their nonsense on their tribe. Big Red Tom tells the camera that he won't "hit the dog" with the "hind end" of the restaurant even if it's supposed to be a fancy restaurant because all he gets to eat are cold potatoes. I'm speechless. It must be a very big dog.

Probby gleefully tells them that dinner may be awkward but at least the Survivors are warm and dry in the restaurant compared to the harsh environment of the camp. The Shii Devil proceeds to spend the whole time eating and opening her mouth to irritate everyone else. The Robfather tells the camera that the Shii Devil shouldn't be surprised, much less displeased, at the "politics" of this situation. After all, losers can't be choosers, yes? "You win some, you lose some," the Robfather concludes, although I have no idea what the Shii Devil wins in this instance. JennaLoo is even more straightforward in her confessional. Citing the Shii Devil's tendency to go "Ooh! Look that steak! I wish I'm eating that steak, et cetera!" non-stop during the whole meal, she calls the Shii Devil "absolutely obnoxious" and wishes that that woman would just shut up.

Hagrid is now on his way to getting drunk, which unfortunately enforces the unpleasant stereotype that he is becoming when he starts roaring and making silly toasts before licking his plate with his tongue. Alicia tells the camera that Hagrid is "plastered" after eight or nine beers. Well, I can see that for myself. As Hagrid roars and laughs and talks, everyone else starts to tune out, some like Ambore even resting their cheek on their arms. Ambore says that they all want to remain in this warm and dry restaurant for as long as possible, so they encourage Hagrid to keep drinking. The Robfather isn't too pleased that Hagrid with his uncharacteristic lack of subtlety or wit has outed Hagrid's four-point alliance to everyone, but concedes that maybe Hagrid trusts the Robfather enough to be so open about the alliance. Or maybe Hagrid is just an idiot. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. Eh, Robfather?

Morning, day thirty. The rain has stopped for the moment so the mood of the Cheap Broken Egos are better. Or at least, the Robfather's mood is better as he is going about his morning activities while singing a tribe cheer-song thingie. Big Red Tom joins in while the women go about washing pots and laundry in the sea. The Robfather hopes that he is speaking for the tribe when he declares that things around the camp will be so much better once they've kicked the motormouth Shii Devil off the island tonight and they don't have to listen to her anymore.

Aha, look who's talking - Hagrid and the Shii Devil! Hagrid hopes that he won't be leaving. Why should he be leaving? He's not on the chopping block. Either he's clueless or he wants to play the Shii Devil, but even if it is the case of the latter, he's still going about it in a clueless way. The Shii Devil is useless and inept, but she's not that dumb. The Shii Devil tells Hagrid that she will do her best to win Immunity. Hagrid of course tells her that he will do his best to win it too, but contradicts himself subsequently when he adds that he won't "kill himself" trying to win it as he's not feeling vulnerable. See, he can't even lie properly, that dumb oaf.

The Shii Devil tells Hagrid to watch out for the Robfather as the Robfather is a wicked person who dares to boot the poor downtrodden former Ego Ego tribemates instead of welcoming them to the merge like some new messiahs. Hagrid tells her that he knows and has discussed some options with JennaLoo already but he's quite resigned to the fact that he'll end up on fourth place unless he wins Immunity at crucial moments. The Shii Devil then hints that "someone" is open to forming alliances with people to form a majority against the other faction. Hagrid doesn't take up her offer. Either he's too hell-bent on staying "loyal" and not consorting with losers of a former rival tribe or he's too obtuse to get the hints the Shii Devil is dropping with her characteristic lack of subtlety. She should have just come out and ask Hagrid whether he, she, JennaLoo, Big Red Tom, and Alicia can all work together and boot the Robfather and Ambore. Then again, the other four original Cheapos can easily become a majority without having to involve the Shii Devil. Either way, the tribe has no use for her one way or the other.

Perhaps Hagrid has the right to be worried as elsewhere Big Red Tom and Alicia are discussing the possibility of booting Hagrid out instead of the Shii Devil, whom Tom confirms to Alicia is on the chopping block. Alicia points out that neither she nor Tom would fare well against the Robfather and Ambore in the Final Three because the Robfather and Ambore would stick together no matter what. And this is related to a Hagrid boot... how? What is with these people? Is the concept of booting the Robfather and Ambore so hard to register on their minds?

Big Red Tom calls out to her as she leaves, saying that they may not have slept together (like some two people, nudge nudge wink), but they've "snuggled up pretty close"! Alicia chuckles at that and later tells the camera that she and Big Red Tom decide to stick together with the Robfather and Ambore until the Final Four. But they are also concerned about their chances at beating the couple in the end game, so she has her doubts about the workability of this plan of theirs. She muses that she has the most concrete alliance with the Robfather, in that she shook hands with him over their deal not to write each other's names down, but she doesn't trust him. If this is the extent of Alicia's gameplay after thirty days, with her stuck in the middle and waffling around while trying to decide whom she can trust, I have nothing to say to her. One doesn't have to trust an alliance partner - alliances are for conveniences, not permanence, after all!

In the obligatory Foreshadowing of Doom moment, the Robfather takes Big Red Tom for a walk and wonders aloud what they should do if the Shii Devil wins Immunity. Tom snorts derisively at that but points out anyway, for the sake of discussion, that the Robfather should be safer than Big Red Tom should that situation comes to pass. The Robfather doesn't agree - he feels that he has to win Immunities all the time to be entirely safe. To the camera, the Robfather says that he hasn't made up his mind yet as to who will leave if the Shii Devil wins Immunity.

Back to their discussion, Big Red Tom cunningly starts a campaign against Hagrid, pointing out to the Robfather that Hagrid is a stronger physical threat to the Robfather and Hagrid is more likely to beat the Robfather in the Final Two. Nicely saying that he's "worried" of Hagrid's threat to the alliance between him and the Robfather, Big Red Tom also points out that the Robfather will be targetted by Hagrid and his ragtag allies, not Big Red Tom, so the Robfather should really think of getting rid of Hagrid. The implication here is that Big Red Tom is saying all this because he has only the good of the Robfather in mind, not because Tom is personally worried that Hagrid will supplant him in the Robfather's Final Four alliance. That redneck oaf is sneaky, isn't he?

The Shii Devil tries to approach Alicia privately with "some news", but Alicia brushes her off brusquely by telling her that there's nothing to be said as there are already some "plan" in motion. Flustered, the Shii Devil can only say she's fine with it (as if she can do anything else!) and walks away. I find that scene very funny because I'm mean and petty that way.

Not the show cuts straight to the Immunity Challenge. Probby stands at a beach as the Cheap Broken Egos walk in. Today's Challenge involves the Cheap Broken Egos taking their place under a platform where a bucket of water is balanced at the top of each platform. The bucket will be tethered to the right hand of each Cheap Broken Ego and everyone will have to remain standing in that position, without moving the hand and tipping the bucket of water onto their hands. The person who can remain standing the longest without tipping the bucket over wins Immunity. At last, an Immunity Challenge where the Shii Devil can stand a chance, pardon the pun, at winning! Burnetto is so sneaky that way.

Ambore gets wet after four minutes. Stop sniggering, People With Dirty Minds. After ten minutes, JennaLoo is drenched. The Shii Devil snorts and tells JennaLoo that JennaLoo doesn't need the Limited Tool necklace anyway (read: cut the drama, biatch). JennaLoo responds by saying that she isn't sure that she's totally safe.

Oh no, Probby notices that Big Red Tom is having a hard time. Then, splash! Big Red Tom gets soggy after sixteen minutes. That will give you People With Dirty Minds something to envision in your free time. The Shii Devil tells Hagrid that he must hold on and outlast the Robfather. Why is she doing this? Does she know how obnoxious she comes off as? Way to go in alienating your tribemates further, Miz Shii Devil! JennaLoo decides to join in the WWE-style faux-trash talk by saying that she can see the Shii Devil's arm moving so the "guys" are doing good - hang in there! Wow, Probby marvels that there are "no secrets" in this tribe as every alliance and rivalry seems to be out and open. No, there are no secrets, JennaLoo quickly tells him. Yes, there are secrets, the Shii Devil insists, adding that there is no secret however in the tribe about who they all want to be gone by tonight. Because that's how you save yourself in this game - by making vague accusations that only serve to alienate people from you further.

A little over thirty minutes have passed. Probby asks Alicia how she is doing. She says that she is trying to overlook the pain in her arm but - splash! She's drenched soon. The fun thing is, Probby gets drenched along with her. He is like the Immunity Grim Reaper - he talks to you and then wham, you're out. The Shii Devil's hand isn't moving but her lips unfortunately are, as she keeps heckling Hagrid to stay in there and beat the Robfather. What is the point of her pathetic and obnoxious feeble attempts at trash talking? She'll still be gone no manner which man wins that Limited Tool necklace. She is just making a fool out of herself instead of distracting the two men.

One hour. It begins to rain. Probby marvels that the Shii Devil hasn't moved one bit. She tells him that she will stay that way for as long as she can because she intends to win that stupid necklace. JennaLoo mouths at Hagrid to hang in there and beat everybody (read: the Shii Devil).

Roughly one and a half hour. The Robfather tries to blow at his bicep, probably at a bug, I guess, and ends up tipping his bucket over. Damn bug. I hate bugs. If he gets voted out because of a bug, I'll invest in an insecticide plant out of spite. It's down to Hagrid and the Shii Devil now. Oh great, two people I least want to see win that necklace.

Two hours. Both twits are holding on, although Hagrid is looking more and more weary and in pain as the seconds tick by. And then... splash! He's out! The Shii Devil wins Immunity! She cheers, and she's the only one cheering. She further isolates herself from the others by telling them "Take that!" in that really condescending and smug tone that earns her a sharp rebuke from Alicia, who tells her that the Shii Devil should be careful as she would still be staying with the rest of the Cheap Broken Egos after this. The Shii Devil quickly says that she love them all - sure - but she needs the Limited Tool necklace more than them. She is also crying, by the way, as if she's just won the Olympics and Hallmark wants to make a movie out of her life. Personally, I won't be too impressed with myself if I were her as I would then still have to figure out how to win the favors of a tribe that I've irritated and annoyed utterly for the next six days. But the Shii Devil acts as if she's won the million dollars already. What on earth is she thinking to insult, trash talk, and gloat so openly over the others? Oh wait, maybe she isn't.

Back at camp, the Shii Devil is still trying to convince the others that she wasn't gloating. She was probably saying "Take that!" to the cynics that claim she will never win anything on this show, I suppose. The others shrug and seem to have forgiven her. But they haven't, as evidenced by a conversation between Alicia and the Robfather out of the Shii Devil's earshot, where they both agree that the Shii Devil should enjoy her moment as she's definitely not going to last long. She has merely prolonged her stay by three more days.

The Shii Devil gloats in her confessional that the others will have to "eat one of their own". Well, it's just an appetizer before they eat you up next, my dear. Now she is wondering why they aren't coming over to her to cut deals. Maybe it's because she has no allies, is only one person, and a person useless to the tribe when it comes to forming alliances, perhaps? She thinks that Alicia and the Robfather are on the chopping block tonight. Shouldn't it be Hagrid instead of the Robfather? Never mind, it's not as if the person leaving tonight will in any way alter the Shii Devil's imminent boot. Still, for them not running over and kneeling before her in abject awe of her Immunity triumph, she calls the others "stupid people". She repeats it one more time for good measure: "Stupid players!" Boy, is she wrong or what? They don't need her when they already have alliances of their own. The stupid players here are she, Lex Loser, and Crazy Kathy. Let's do it the Shii Devil way: "Stupid people! Stupid people! Let me just say that again: stupid players!"

And the Shii Devil is stupid because she could have used her Immunity triumph to cozy up to the others and make alliances, but she's alienated everyone but the sloths in the tree with her disdain of them. How can she call the others stupid when the original Cheapora win challenges and form alliances and it's now dead certain that one of them will be a millionaire (before tax, that is) at the end of the game? Stupid Shii.

The Robfather watches from the shelter as the Shii Devil tells a disinterested Hagrid that Hagrid is on the chopping block tonight. The Robfather calls her a dealmaker and from his tone, he's definitely being facetious. In his confessional, he wonders whether he should stick with Alicia and Big Red Tom or with Hagrid and JennaLoo. He's not sure whether he can trust Hagrid and JennaLoo, but he is equally stumped by Alicia who isn't exactly the Miss Open Book Personality of the camp. It will be a tough decision for him. Hmm, no running to cut Very Important Deals with the Shii Devil? Snigger.

If there is any doubt left about the lack of intelligence in the Shii Devil, she is now trying to tell Ambore to vote off the Robfather. Yes, I can easily see Ambore agreeing to that splendid plan. The stupid Shii Devil has just burned her bridges with Ambore and the Robfather already, if the bridge hasn't become cinders a long time ago. Why can't she approach Hagrid or JennaLoo with the plan for a Robfather boot? The Robfather boot makes a lot of sense, but the person the Shii Devil brings up the plan to, not. I mean, seriously, why on earth would Ambore betray her strongest ally? Most likely Ambore would inform the Robfather of the Shii Devil approaching her and the Shii Devil hate would only intensify in camp.

Ambore tells the Shii Devil that she trusts the Robfather and she is convinced that he will trust her - even if she is lying to her. Ooh. This leads the Shii Devil to conclude to the camera that Ambore is one "sweet" but "shrewd" player.

The Robfather and Ambore enjoy a cozy snuggle where he serenades her with romantic ballads. Or rather, he is reading aloud his letter from the Robbrother to her. She must be really besotted with him - or is a good pretender - because she seems rivetted at what he is reading aloud to her. In his confessional, the Robfather thinks that Ambore trusts her utterly but he isn't sure whether he can trust her back completely. Boy, these two have trust issues or what? Heh heh heh. Back to the cozy twosome, he tells her that they must trust each other if they want to "do it" at the Tribal Council. Heh heh heh. Back to his confessional, he says that Ambore's playing the game as much as he is, but he is confident that she is not "playing" him. But if she does, then she has him fooled, he says, as he feels that what they have between them is "genuine". And if she does, he shrugs and says that so be it, let he be then the biggest sucker in history. I find that speech endearing in a goofy, whipped way. Hubby wants the aliens to bring back the real Robfather and zap this pathetic love-whipped fool out of existence.

I have to give props to Burnetto here: his editing is filled with misdirection that works. I am genuinely at the edge of my seat during the negotiations because it does feel for a moment that the Robfather is genuinely in danger. That's why he's still the king of reality TV shows and most of his rivals are wannabes in comparison.

Night. Tribal Council. The Cheap Broken Egos walk in, Lex walks in, Kathy walks in, and everyone's ready to talk. The Shii Devil makes a fuss about how Very Important her Immunity triumph is, although why it is important, I have no idea. Hagrid makes a big fuss about How Hard and How Difficult it was to delegate the meals during his Reward Challenge victory, although his drunken buffoon antics then tell a different story altogether. Alicia says that Hagrid and JennaLoo are Very Important to the original Cheapora because the tribe wouldn't be where they are without them, although just what those two did for Cheapora remain a mystery to me. The Shii Devil wonders why nobody among the others would come forward and take a leadership role to tell others who to vote off. Gee, I wonder why tonight's vote for Alicia would be unanimous then if there is no Fearless Leader among the Cheap Broken Egos. JennaLoo rightfully points out that just because the Shii Devil is out of the loop doesn't mean that there is no strategy among the other tribemembers. The Robfather thinks that he is in danger. Probby thankfully cuts short the nonsense spewing from the Cheap Broken Egos' mouths and sends them to vote.

Ambore, Hagrid, JennaLoo, Tom, and the Shii Devil all send Alicia her due. According to Survivor Insider, they all use Alicia's lack of work ethics as a reason to write her name down. Alicia gives some love to Hagrid. The Robfather writes Alicia's name down and says that Alicia should've taken her own advice to the Robfather on Day Three and kept her mouth shut. "So, au revoir! Adios! Arrivederci! Sayonara! Or as we say in Boston, see you later!" he says as he folds the paper with a flourish and drops it into the pot. Nobody messes with the Robfather, after all.

Probby tallies the votes. He reads them aloud - Alicia, Alicia, Hagrid, Alicia, Alicia, Alicia. Alicia frowns as she stands up to get her torch snuffed. "Well, somebody turned. I'd better not find out who that is," she warns them, or more specifically, the Robfather, as she walks towards Probby. Meanwhile, Lex and the Shii Devil share a smile, although how Alicia's departure puts a dent in the Grand Scheme of the Robfather and Ambore, I have no idea. Probby says that it is interesting that while the original Cheapos are so open about letting the Shii Devil know that she is leaving, they do not grant the same luxury to one of their own. Because not everyone is as stupid as Lex Loser and Colby, Probby - duh.

Next week: JennaLoo's mouth gets her into trouble with the Shii Devil and Hagrid. Shouldn't these three Mouths Making Annoying Sounds be bonding instead over the pain they are inflicting on my senses every week?

Alicia's final words have her warning the Robfather that she will make life hard for him should he be in the Final Two because they shook hands over the deal that the Robfather broke during the Tribal Council. Yeah, yeah, whatever. Wave a hand at him and see if he cares.

Before YouTube, recapping music videos is totally a thing and not a waste of time. Really..

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