THE APPRENTICE: MARTHA STEWART

Season 1 Episode 4: Sweet Suite

Previously, Matchstick crashed and burned again but Martha Stewart wasn't pleased with Project Manager David's nomination of Dawn and Marcela so she overruled his nominations and fired Shawn instead. Shawn had been completely obnoxious throughout the whole episode anyway, talking flippantly with the bravado of someone who was overcompensating for too many things, so I couldn't say that I disagree with Shawn's dismissal. While Martha called all members of Matchstick to her conference room, the Primates-R-Us folks are out celebrating (and I suspect, eating because it wasn't as if the skimpy desserts offered to them as a "reward" would make them even halfway full). When the Primates returned, they found the bags of Jim, Shawn, and Bethenny but not a single Matchstick in sight. Sarah is sure that Martha must have canned all of the Matchsticks. Ah, but for the sake of filling up a season's worth of episodes, I don't think Martha can be that practical. Jennifer wonders that perhaps the Matchsticks all quit instead. I think she has officially crossed from speculation to wishful thinking there. Meanwhile, Ryan and Howie are again standing close together and wearing all those weird visors and bandannas that they must really believe that straight men wishing desperately to project their heterosexuality must wear on TV. Stand closer, guys, and how about a smooch? And then the remaining Matchsticks, minus Shawn, walk in one by one in single file through the door. Ryan and Howie are noticeably excited to see Jim again. Go figure.

Carrie is surprised that Shawn is gone because she thinks that Shawn was the strongest member on Matchstick. David is telling the Primates about how nothing is "clear-cut" on the show, but I don't think he's including demonstations of intelligence in his statement like he should have. Jim tells the Primates about Shawn's talking herself into her own dismissal, bringing up the now infamous "fake it 'til you make it" line of Shawn, which leads Sarah to announce that this situation is actually very "clear-cut": you have to sell something that has quality and you need to believe in that product to sell it. She says that there is no faking it when it comes to selling and adds that there are no "cheesy salesman" in the Loft. Really? As if to disagree with the apparently idealistic Sarah, the camera cuts to Jim who is drinking his bottle of Voss water while posing for the camera like some triumphant sailor who has six hundred dollars in pocket for his shore leave, the money stolen from the captain's cabin. Jim tells the camera that the Primates are becoming too smug for their own good and he can't wait for them to lose and be exposed as the "frauds" they are. How can the Primates be frauds if they are winning? Perhaps he's commenting on their insincerity? But if they are smug and aren't pretending to be sympathetic to the Matchsticks, that don't make them frauds either. Jim is a confusing man, just like my inability to dislike him. Mind you, with Dawn gone, I'll be rooting for him from now on. Yes, I need help. Thanks for the thought, heh. Jim says that he intends to drink in the tears of the Primates like "nectar of the gods". I wonder whether he's thinking of Howie when he's mangling his English like that. As for gods, I bet they are probably Beezelbub and Mephistopheles.

Credits. Oh, Martha. Why is this show not doing well? It's much better than Donald Trump's version.

Morning. Dawna answers the phone call from Julia who asks them to head over to Martha's office for instructions of their next task. The Apprenti get ready, including Jim fixing Howie's tie for him. Where is Ryan? Probably out of camera's range tying Howie's shoelaces. Howie must let me know one of these days how he get those guys to wait on him hand and foot. Martha is not present in the conference room, though, when the Apprenti walk in. Alexis greets them, perhaps sounding a little pleased that she gets to be in charge for once, even if for only a few minutes of the day, and the TV screen comes to life, showing Martha standing before her Turkey Hill Road house. She tells them that she has some important things to do (read: stupid house arrest) so she can't see the Apprenti in person. Martha then describes her house, saying that it was some messy hovel when she and her husband purchased it but with their combined visions, they turned it into some dream country getaway with horses and obscenely big gardens and all. Apparently Martha wants everyone to know that visions and creativity can get you big houses. No mention of the sixty bazillion dollars needed to actually work on the house though. Martha tells the Apprenti to have visions or something like that, hopefully without the need for artificial stimulants, and tell them that they will have to channel their vision into redesigning and renovating a two-room suite in a Westin hotel. The Apprenti are supposed to keep in mind Westin's recent attempt to rejuvenate their business by introducing some theme about how sleeping in Westin's suites will make me a better person.

Since Shawn is no longer here to lead, the Apprenti forget to clap in fake enthusiasm after the clip ends, although there are some insincere twittings from some of the Apprenti. Jim, of course, manages to infuse so much sarcasm in his "Awesome!" that it's easy to forgive him for trying too hard to be a bootlicker at times. Now, all he needs to do is to convince me that he isn't genuinely trying to be a bootlicker. Anyway, Martha warns Matchstick in her video that she is not happy with the team and she has instructed Alexis and Charles to carry out some measures that will hopefully giving Matchstick the winning edge it needs. Alexis asks Primates-R-Us which member believes that he or she is a strong leader. All the Primates raise one hand. Charles asks which of them believes that he or she can lead Matchstick to victory. All quickly lower their hands, except for Leslie who pipes up that she'll volunteer to lead Matchstick. Charles tells Matchstick that Leslie is a courageous woman who takes risks and they should appreciate her for that. Thank you, Leslie! He also adds that Martha Stewart's company likes people like Leslie who takes risks. And then, when the risk is too high and everything falls to pieces, people like Leslie are so, so fired. Alexis hopes that Matchstick will do something right this time around and Leslie assures her and Charles that they will.

Meanwhile, Leslie tells the camera that she knows she is the one to lead Matchstick to greatness. Maybe the voices in her head tell her so. Meanwhile, Amanda, who looks a lot like an older Juliette Lewis in looks as well as characteristics, says that the Primates aren't sure what made Leslie go over to Matchstick but Leslie isn't the strongest member of Primates-R-Us so she's no great loss to the team. She pauses and tries not to smirk as she says that the Primates are generally pleased to see Leslie leave.

The Primates visit their suite where to their dismay, the suite is, as Jennifer puts it to the camera, unfurnished, unpainted, and without electrical supply. The suite is pretty much just that - a room waiting to be furnished, painted, and decorated into a five-star suite in about a day or so! Carrie is showing some bossy streak as she launches in rapid-fire speed about what this area is and what that area is, as if she's the person trying to sell the other Primates the hotel suite. Meanwhile, Amanda asks whether she can be the Project Manager and those she speaks to shrug and let her be one. Somehow I don't think Carrie is one of these agreeable Primates. Anyway, Amanda tells the camera that she has shown the others that she is a strong leader all this time and now she wants to prove to them that she can lead them. Huh, come again? I think something went very wrong in the course of Amanda's train of thought during that confessional. Still, Amanda holds a conference where everyone tries to come up with a theme to work around. After some time, they think "Westin Entertains" will be a great theme to work on. Carrie then starts to pull out some color templates and says that she has worked with colors a lot (oh please, a kindergarten art teacher works with plenty of colors too, I'm sure) so she thinks that this and that will make... Hold it, Amanda pretty much says and then steamrollers over her, saying that they'd better ask some professional advice on the color scheme. Carrie scowls and puts back her templates. I bet when the camera spends more time on the Primates within the next few weeks, Carrie is going to be the resident bitch of that team.

While Amanda is acting like an overexcited scoutmistress trying to whip a bunch of recalcitrant kiddies into shape, Leslie on the other hand acts like a doddering old schoolteacher who hopes that if she is nice to the Matchsticks, she will be treated nicely in return. The Matchsticks start talking, Leslie listens, offers some ideas, and listens. Blabber, blabber, blabber. The camera zooms in on the clock, the needles moving at a fast-forwarded rate as the Matchsticks go through all kinds of ideas like spas, aliens, Elvis, King Kong, and other fun stuff. For a bunch of self-professed creatives, I'm quite surprised that none of them actually show any of their fabled creativity. How about a room with an ancient Egyptian motive, guys? Or a coffin for a bed in a bloodsoaked room for Anne Rice and Laurell K Hamilton groupies? Dawn, Bethenny, and Jim all look at their watches, at the clock, and with other members of Matchstick as they realize just how time this brainstorming is taking. Dawn tells the camera in disbelief that they spent about six hours just sitting there and talking. By the end of the night, everyone looks like they'd fall asleep on that table if they don't end the conference soon. The funny thing about this is that before she begins the conference, Leslie tells the camera that the problem with Matchstick is that they don't have any organization among them. Way to go, Leslie!

Martha's Moral of the Week clip time. She briefly talks about how you must have faith and believe your own team in order to sell a product. That's nice but this week's episode doesn't seem to be about that, really. That is the first sign that something will be off in this episode.

I'm not sure about the Primates' strategy of merely getting the advice of some professional to get their work done for them, but at least it's working for them, I suppose. They now stop at some interior decorator's store that Ryan had discovered earlier to purchase wallpaper. Carrie as usual announces that she thinks this and that will be perfect for the suite and pulls out some rather colorful reddish wallpaper that reminds me of cutesy paper used to wrap birthday gifts meant for kids. Amanda understandably doesn't find them appropriate. However, Amanda asks the interior decorator to choose for them and this person chooses something that looks like a moss-covered cracked-tile wall of a very dirty bathroom. Amanda tells the camera that they have to all trust the advice of the professionals - they are professionals, after all. How utterly charming of her to be this gullible at this time and age. Ryan says aloud that he hasn't envisioned such a wallpaper in his mind. Yeah, it's hideous, I agree. Still, in his confessional that takes place back at the Loft with Ryan wearing his now typical hideous Backstreet Boy wear, Ryan chuckles and says that he isn't so worried because there is no way one can overestimate Matchstick - no matter how bad Primates-R-Us fare, the Matchsticks will find a way to do worse. That's so smug of him, I know, but he's right, unfortunately.

Over at Matchstick, Leslie is talking about tranquility and what-not. I think she's inadvertently helping the others to fall asleep easier. David is worried and rather unhappy because they have professional painters and repairmen to help them at their task and right now the crew are just sitting or standing around an empty suite because Matchstick hasn't started on anything yet except for wasting time like nobody's business. Finally, Jim comes up with something. He jibbers excitedly, "I like the idea of, like, flow. It's like Zen; it's like feng shui!" Leslie likes the idea and thinks that "flow" is a great theme. She wants Jim to come up with something that "FLOW", as an acronym, can stand for. Jim comes up with "For Leisure Or Work". Wait a minute, isn't that what a hotel room is normally for? Come to think of it, M&Ms are for leisure and for work too, and they melt in your hands as well. Dawn can't believe that they spent so long coming up with a theme. Me too. Six hours for "for leisure or work"? Give me a break.

At the Primate Suite, the wallpapers are up and the Primates admire their job. Plenty of back-pattings ensue until they see the hideous wallpaper Amanda has purchased for the bathroom. Howie describes it to the camera, "It's pretty much disgusting. It was like Atlantic City on crack! I mean, it was godawful!" Carrie says to the camera that she has told them and she even had color schemes all ready. They should have listened to Carrie! She's definitely going to snap soon, this Carrie. Jennifer compares the wallpaper to that of a bleak prison to the camera. Make your own "Martha Stewart will feel right at home" joke here. Jennifer goes on to say that if the Primates lose, Amanda is the one responsible. I doubt though that an ugly toilet wallpaper will be the deciding factor on which suite is better. Still, I have to admire the Primates' remarkably speedy ability to find scapegoats this soon in anticipation of a conference room visit. They have the corporate world down pat: united at the front, daggers out in the back. Then again, they are the corporate types, after all. Amanda tells everyone not to nitpick and concentrate on the grander things in life. Like her brilliance, I suppose. No, on the vision, she insists. The vision, huh? Amanda is such a fruitloop.

Over at Crate and Barrel, our friendly furniture depot, Bethenny is getting stressed out because she has only four minutes left to buy furniture for the suite as it is already nine and the store is closing. Still, she does an excellent job at rushing through the catalogue and picking up this and that. Bethenny may be crazy and a complete bitch but she seems to operate very well under tight deadlines in this case. Leslie thinks that Bethenny is a "spaz" who is always "going about nine hundred miles an hour" but in this situation, Bethenny is a "superstar". I'm sure Bethenny is thrilled to know that. For a self-professed Leaders of the Dysfunctional and Undisciplined, Leslie is coming off too much like one of the fruitloops she thinks she is better than. Such arrogance is most unbecoming, especially when its coupled to incompetence.

Leslie, Jim, Dawn, and David head over to some hardware store to purchase tools and paint when Marcela calls Leslie to inform her that the crew had left after midnight. Still, the crew were kind enough to leave some notes telling Marcela to paint the suite by themselves. Oh dear, heh. However, Dawn doesn't think that they should paint the suite and she insists that the crew can come back the next morning to paint. This is where Dawn loses me and I like her, mind you. Why is she giving Leslie ammunition against her? Yes, Leslie is a horrible Project Manager, but use that against Leslie in the conference room. Don't make a fuss and let Leslie find any reason to drag you back inside the conference room! Instead, as everyone else paints well into two in the morning, Dawn just sits there and watches sullenly. She's tired, I know, and she thinks that Leslie has done a stupid thing wasting six hours just babbling, but she should suck it up and blend in with the others and work. I'm sure David, Marcela, and the others aren't thinking too highly of Leslie at this point either but they aren't going to go out of their way to be confrontational. Maybe Dawn lacks the facade needed to play corporate politics, I don't know. I however don't think Dawn is the laziest member of Matchstick like Leslie accuses her of being to the camera. I think Dawn just lacks the patience to deal with stupid people and she doesn't have the ability to pretend otherwise.

The next morning, there is some fuss about Dawn not waking up in time to meet the other Matchsticks and head out to their suite at some designated time. At 5:30 am, Leslie walks into David's room and wakes him up. And here is where things become fishy. Am I supposed to believe that Leslie can wake David up but not Dawn? "We almost had one less player on our team because Dawn was useless," says Leslie. I think the whole Matchstick team with Leslie's approval must be gunning big time for Dawn. Seriously, nobody can wake up Dawn and they have to wait for her until the last minute? You can't tell me that they just cannot wake up Dawn even if they can't stand her if they are serious about winning! Later that morning, the Matchsticks and the crew get down to putting up what needs to be put up (lights, et cetera). Oh, and Dawn is clearly seen working alongside the others, even if the camera tries very hard not to focus directly on her face. Yeah, that's a lazy one, that Dawn. Leslie crows to the camera that "FLOW" is coming together very nicely.

The Primates get ready to leave when Amanda tells the others that they are all the sharpest people she knows (which proves, to me, one thing: she probably doesn't know too many people in the first place) so she has some gifts for all of them: sharpened pencils with cards bearing Amanda's "words of wisdom" tied around them! Ryan tells the camera that the pencil is cheesy but somehow it works to pull the morale of the team even higher. I know people like Amanda: they are dorky, corny, and certified fruitloops who ask everyone to come up with team cheers while clapping hands together because they are friends forever within and without the team. They can make very efficient leaders because they have or pretend very well (the correct "fake it 'til you make it", unlike Shawn's idea of one) to have the untarnished optimism to rally the troops together in the cheesiest way when more cynical people - like Dawn - will just be happy to give up on the team and let it burn because they feel that it is beneath them to work with stupid people. Amanda is the anti-Dawn in a way. I'm not saying that both types of personality are wrong in any way, I'm just saying that Dawn unfortunately doesn't function well in an environment like this one while Amanda can flourish in it. Dawn has "self-employed careerwoman" written all over her, as someone who either works for herself and plays by her own rules or works for someone in a position that offers her a lot of independence in terms of pacing and schedule. Anyway, back to the Primate Suite, they fill a basket with casino chips instead of the usual flowers and what-not, put boardgames on shelves, and set up an entertainment set that comes complete with a popcorn machine. Alexis and Charles drop by and they act impressed.

Me, I actually prefer the Matchstick's suite, which is coming together very nicely to look like, well, a very comfortable hotel suite if it has some furniture in it. The Primates' suite is nice to look at but I suspect that I won't enjoy living in it. It's a conceptual suite as opposed to a functional suite, which is what the Matchsticks' suite is shaping up to be. Unfortunately, the fact remains that there is no chair or bed. Charles wonders about this when he and Alexis drop by and Bethenny assures him that the furniture will be arriving soon. Later, some two hours before the Westin folks and their privileged customers drop by to judge the suite according to Leslie, Bethenny starts screaming into the phone. It seems that the delivery truck driver from Crate and Barrel can't locate any place to drop off the furniture. Bethenny screams and shouts, everyone else looks confused and panicky as the clock ticks, but still no furniture. Finally, the driver promises that he'd be there in seven minutes. The Matchsticks all scamper down to the delivery point but - yup - there is no sign of the truck or the furniture.

Oops, it's now too late as the Westin folks and their favored very regular customers are here to take a look at the room. Amanda shows off their suite and the Primates get praised with "I think maybe that the highest compliment that can be paid is that it doesn't look like a hotel." Later, Leslie tries to pretend that the Matchstick suite doesn't have any furniture by design and that they are going for a "minimalistic" approach. Yes, I would love to stay in a hotel suite that doesn't have a bed. Let me sleep on the floor and stare at the ceiling! The Matchsticks know this too. "Bethenny asked me if we have a chance and I'm thinking to myself, 'No couchie, no winnie'," Jim tells the camera in his best imitation of Porky Pig imitating Daffy Duck the best he could. Leslie whines to the camera, "I know what's wrong with that room. We don't have a freakin' couch! I'm essentially selling air!" The judges know this too. The best "praise" the suite receives is that it reminds one of them of the apartment that he rented after college when he was unable to afford any furniture.

Later, Martha walks into a conference room at Westin to meet the Westin folks. The Apprenti file in after her. The two Westin execs talk some false babble about being impressed with the suites of both teams. Martha then watches some photographs of both rooms and she and the two Westin folks pretty much agree that the Matchstick suite doesn't look comfortable (no couchie!). Martha thinks that the Matchstick suite lacks an obvious theme. Here, Ryan and Amanda exchange a truly repulsive smug look that will make it very hard for me to root for them in the near future. Of course the winner are the Primates. Is anyone surprised? Martha then tells the Primates their reward: after all the hard work they've done, they can now chill out at their suite at Westin. She'll see them in a while. Of course, she'll see the Matchsticks later that evening in the conference room.

The Primates are all happy and excited, their grumbles about Amanda evaporating, as they cheer and hug each other in their suite. Then Martha shows up. If they are hoping for Martha to announce that they have won some fabulous shopping spree adventures at some boutique or something, they will have to pretend to be happy instead when Martha proceeds to "mingle" with them by looking around the suite critically and pretty much criticizing and evaluating every single thing about the room. She even demands some M&Ms from the Primates, mind you. I am starting to feel this urge to write a feel-better card to Alexis. "She looked around the suite and spent some time with us and I thought that was a wonderful reward," Amanda gushes to the camera and I collapse into hysterical laughter as the camera proceeds to follow Martha as she goes "What is this?" and "What is that?" all over the place while the Primates trail after her like small sparrows hoping for some breadcrumbs from a hawk. Finally, Martha tells them that she has to leave (parole officer appointment, dang) and the Primates now can do whatever they want in the suite. Oh good, can I finally see some Howie and Ryan schmoozefest? Anyway, the Primates wait until Martha is gone before doing their team cheer. Ugh.

At the Loft, Dawn sits aside and starts writing down some things - maybe her contributions to the team? - as she tells the camera that she knows she is heading for the conference room again. She thinks Leslie's poor time management contributed to their loss. Meanwhile, Leslie is telling Bethenny that she is taking her into the conference room with Leslie and Dawn but the agenda is to get rid of the Dawn, "the weakest link". Bethenny agrees that Dawn should go but she doesn't understand why she, one of the strongest members of the team as both women agree on (haw, haw... but unfortunately, I think that is true, how sad for Matchstick), has to be "put on risk". Bethenny says that she will "fight" for "her life" in the conference room and Leslie reminds her to keep in mind that they have to get rid of Dawn.

Conference room time. Martha wants to know whose idea is FLOW. Leslie diplomatically says that it's a "collective team effort" but Jim should get the credit for it. How can it be a team effort if someone gets the credit? Hmm. Jim starts to brag about his genius but Martha doesn't want to hear it because the problem here isn't FLOW as much as the fact that the room is unfinished. Leslie says that should the furniture arrive in time, the suite would be better than the Primates'. I sort of agree with that. Bethenny looks very annoyed as she points out that if Leslie hasn't wasted six hours of their time babbling and yammering, Bethenny could have easily purchased the furniture and have them delivered in time. Dawn chimes in to defend Bethenny here. "We don't even have a boat to put in the water, why are we worried what kind of curtains we have on it?" says Bethenny indignantly about Leslie's time management blunders. Leslie now tries to argue that they didn't spend six hours brainstorming while Bethenny and Dawn insist that they did. Martha then brings up the fact that she had many things done in her garden within a couple of hours for some important "garden tour" the next day. Charles says that she could do all that because she didn't have Matchstick working for her. Hey, that's so mean! He's not trying to say that the Matchsticks are incompetent, is he? Meanwhile, Alexis manages to get an eyeroll scene here or there to remind me that she's on the show.

Now it's "Dawn is lazy" pile-on time. Martha says, as Dawn starts to defend herself, that Dawn is always full of "excuses". I have to admit, it's hard for Dawn to justify why she didn't paint with the others because really, is there any way to justify that without lying about allergies and what-not? Then again, poor psychotic Toral pulled a "God didn't want me to dress up in a stupid outfit" in the other show the very same week and it didn't hold either. Now Leslie brings up the fact that Dawn slept in and caused everyone to be late in heading to the suite by some thirty minutes. Hey, David would be late too if Leslie didn't wake him up. So why didn't she wake Dawn up? By this point, Martha is on her high horse about Dawn not bothering to wake up in time for work while Charles keep cutting in to add his own wisecracks, to the point that Dawn cannot get a word in.

"I'm running out of time here," Martha finally says. "And patience," Charles cuts in to say. Eeuw, he's starting to come off like a toadying bootlicker now. "Well, I don't want to lose my patience. None of you want me to lose my patience," says Martha with her smile fixed on her face (it's quite unnerving to watch, really, this smile of hers), agreeing with Charles here. She asks Marcela who Marcela thinks should be dismissed. Interesting: she always asks Marcela first about this kind of things. Marcelas thinks that Dawn should go. David thinks Leslie is to be blamed for the team's loss. When asked, Jim goes, "Anyone but me?" Martha gives him a really icy frown until he chuckles nervously. "A name! A name!" Martha asks him impatiently. Jim actually sounds and looks like a kid caught with his hand in some cookie jar as he mutters that he think Leslie should go but he could also get behind the idea of Dawn's dismissal. Leslie picks Bethenny and Dawn to join her in the conference room.

After the Matchsticks leave (it is interesting that Jim whispers audibly to the camera to Dawn that he is sorry about what he said in the boardroom about targetting Dawn - it looks like some Matchsticks actually would prefer to keep Dawn over Leslie), Charles thinks that Martha has a tough decision to make because Bethenny is at fault for the furniture, Leslie is at fault for her management of the team, and Dawn has, er, a "negative attitude".

It is interesting as well that Bethenny goes after Leslie the moment the three women return to the conference room instead of gunning for Dawn. The two women start accusing each other for causing the team to lose (forget the chicken or the egg, it's now the furniture or the brainstorming). Bethenny also brings up the fact that Leslie brought Bethenny in specifically to help Leslie get rid of Dawn. Charles tells her that she's here because the furniture didn't arrive, not because of Dawn. Gee, thanks, Charles. I'm glad to see that he knows so much about the team after spending what seems like fifteen or so minutes inspecting the suite. Alexis tells Dawn and the room is quiet for a moment because everyone is shocked to realize that she's in the room, "Dawn, I like you because I'm usually the person everyone likes least on the team, but no one has ever said that I didn't work really, really hard." Maybe they said that she looked like a man instead. Bethenny, upon prodding, admits that she thinks that Dawn is the weakest link. Leslie once more talks about getting rid of Dawn. All three women start talking at the same time until Martha interrupts to basically say that she's had enough. She says that she is keeping Leslie because even though she sucked really hard, she volunteered and that was good enough for Martha. She'd give Bethenny another chance because Bethenny tried her best. But she will be dismissing Dawn because, as she puts it, "Dawn, you're making excuses. Something is wrong. You don't seem to be functioning as a member of the team - you just are not effective. And therefore, Dawn, I'll say goodbye." She offers her hand, Dawn shakes it and leaves.

The receptionist Julia watches the three women wait in the elevator lobby with this smirk on her face that holds the satisfaction of knowing that she, at least, is good enough to be hired by Martha while these three losers are on borrowed time where Martha is concerned. Bethenny gives Dawn a goodbye hug, which surprises me given how Bethenny has been gunning for Dawn all along. Then again, I remember that Bethenny has been gunning for Leslie, not Dawn, in the conference room and I'm not so surprised anymore.

Martha and Charles make some joke about Charles and Alexis looking for Matchstick's missing furniture after the show after Martha announces that a "reshuffling of major proportions" has to be done since Matchstick is on its way to complete burnout. Then Martha writes Dawn a letter:

"Dear Dawn, I'm sorry that you must leave the team Matchstick but after four losses, it is clear that you are not making significant contributions to the group and really don't fit the idea of an employee of MLSO. We want you to succeed and we certainly wish you well. Good luck and have a good trip home. Sincerely, Martha Stewart."

Strange thing is, the letter seems so much longer when the camera zooms in to it. Oh well. Bethenny and then Leslie walk back to the Loft, Leslie closes the door behind her, and we're done.

I have mixed feelings about Dawn's dismissal and no, it's not just because I like Dawn. Dawn is dismissed for not doing, which is fair enough since Dawn has made it so clear that she is not the kind of employee Martha Stewart may want (team player, blah blah blah), but at the same time, I feel that Leslie's blunder is too large to be overlooked here. There is no way to justify six hours of brainstorming and four minutes left for furniture purchasing. This is crazy! Leslie doesn't deserve some sort of automatic exemption because she volunteered. This is not like Pamela in the second season of Donald Trump's show where the stupid old idiot fired Pamela after she reined in the hideous bitches of Tampax for the first time and led them to a near-victory. Pamela was fired very unfairly over $10. However, Leslie did a terrible job leading Matchstick. Like last week, Dawn did nothing to contribute to the team's loss this week. Sure, Martha probably has had enough of Dawn not fitting in with the rest of her team, but Dawn's attitude is in no way comparable to the huge blunder of Leslie. Leslie should have been dismissed this week, not Dawn.

Before YouTube, recapping music videos is totally a thing and not a waste of time. Really..

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