AMERICAN IDOL

Season 4: Where Did Our Love Go?

Credits. There is no pre-show babble today from Ryan Sleazebag. He hasn't been appearing much on this show, has he? The official line of reasoning is that he has other responsibilities to carry out, like some morning show on the radio. Word on the grapevine is that he believes that absence will make the heart grow fonder so everyone watching this show and King Tut will miss him more and see him for what a wonderful person he is if he doesn't keep shoving his face around every five seconds of the show. Is it working with you? Keep it up, Sleazie, and I may not remember that you exist.

Sleazebag voices over what happened in the past two days for anyone who has skipped the previous episode. 96 wannabes had to leave home, some of them crying, others defiant, and some telling the camera that they would prove the judges wrong and be successful. For those who remain, they are happy, they scream a lot, they party a lot, and they no doubt look forward to the day when they will be free to have drugs and plenty of sex with anybody and everybody any time they want. In short, if you missed the previous episode, you missed nothing, really.

8:00 am, day three of the Boot Camp. Today, the wannabes will be divided into groups of three and perform for the judges. Groups are determined randomly - each wannabe reaches into a box and picks out a number. Three people with the same number will be grouped together. Guys will be paired with guys while the ladies would stick to their own. This is to make sure that the show will always have some screaming ladies hating each other to provide some "drama". Sleazebag says that this is the first time that the wannabes will have to rely on other people to get through to the subsequent round, because on this show so far they have judged the contestants solely on merit and nothing else. The randomness of the group selection means that there are always people who end up in teams consisting of people who clash badly with them, style-wise or personality-wise. Matt Myers, the Pimpslapper, wants to pimp slap Scott Savoy and doesn't know how to describe Scott anymore without using words that he can't say aloud on this show. He comes off quite badly in this scene but as I shall soon see, Scott is the monster here, not the Pimpslapper.

But before anything can go on, Jaclyn Crum receives news that her mother has collapsed and has to be sent to a hospital. I knew those stage mothers are always up to no good. Apparently Jaclyn's mother has breathing problems and Jaclyn tells the camera tearfully that her mother has multiple sclerosis. By the way, one of the guys inside the ambulance is really, really hot. He has dark hair and a face that is perfect for a vocation that calls for full frontal nudity. Jaclyn tearfully runs off to see whether her mother will suffocate slowly and painfully and Sleazebag voices over that the contest has to be put on hold.

Back to the Murder, Inc group where the Pimpslapper and Danny Steward don't get along with Scott Savoy. Actually, as the three of them pose for the camera, Danny is the one who doesn't fit in, imagewise, with the two fat zombie butchers from Resident Evil. The Pimpslapper and Danny are singing parts of their song but Scott just stands there and doesn't sing a single word when it's his turn. This leads the Pimpslapper to tell the camera that he doesn't like Scott's attitude. That's harsh, I know, but at the same time, Scott is just being annoying and non-cooperative. Don't pull that "he's not functional so he should be excused" thing with me, people, because from real life accounts, Scott has a girlfriend and even sired a kid with her. By all accounts he is a highly functional person with his share of friends and family members. The whole drama the show spins about his father not being supportive of him? Some people who know Scott in real life say that Scott's father drove that man to his audition. Something is not right on Planet Simon Birch and my suspicion is that Scott is milking the whole Life Goes On sympathy vote for all it's worth. Back to the Pimpslapper, he says that Danny is an "incredible singer" and humbly adds that he is just someone who likes to sing. But Scott, the Pimpslapper compares that one to "the Planet Of The Apes boy". Again, that's a harsh thing to say, perhaps, but definitely warranted in this case. Especially when later, when the Murder, Inc gang is supposed to rehearse in the room shared by the Pimpslapper and Danny, Scott doesn't show up. The Pimpslapper says that he is tempted to pimpslap Scott. The two scowl at the camera and even Danny has some biting thing to say about Scott. He sarcastically tells the camera that Scott must have won the Grammy already. Scott then gives a confessional that he doesn't intend to lose because of his group. So he's going to sabotage them while making himself come off smelling like roses? Nice one, Ape Boy.

Sleazebag voices over that the "drama" is just beginning because none of the wannabes want to leave because of their teammates. Some groups seem to be doing their own thing, eating pizza (or in the case of one camera-muggy guy, dancing with a pizza) and rehearsing, some even forgoing sleep and food (the last should come easy to many of the female wannabes, I'm sure) while others have different priorities about what to emphasize in their performance. An example is the Parent Trap group composed of Janay Castine and two apparently surnameless young ladies Gina and Natalie. Natalie is more interested in coming up with ideas for the choreography while Janay is more interested in mastering the singing part of the performance. I know, wanting to sing well in a singing competition - how silly! And then Sleazebag makes an appearance, looking like a Tommy Boy mannequin, posing like a dramatic Botox midget as he solemnly says that this day is all about teamwork. Well, the Murder, Inc gang is not feeling the teamwork when it comes to their AWOL partner Scott. Danny says as he gets ready to sleep that he feels he has just been on a date where the date didn't show up. The Pimpslapper says that Scott is not a team player.

But some teams are doing well. Sleazebag reminds everyone of Anwar Robinson, the voice teacher who, for the sake of the show, has rounded up some children so that he can come off as a charitable soul who teaches kiddies to sing. The electorate loves people who either are mentally handicapped or work with children, after all. So Anwar is currently applying his tools of the trade on his team mates, Mario Pipsqueak and one of the Jefferson twins Jamar. Mario's face is like "Puh-leeze, bitch, who da hell do ya think I am?" but he "ooh-ooh-ooh"s along anyway in what seems like a cast-off Justin Guarini song that one of them would no doubt record in a future CD. Jamar sounds like he really needs those voice lessons from Anwar.

At the end of the spectrum, the members of the group Mean Gurrls are not that harmonious. Elizabeth Pha, she of the fishnet blouse and skanky appearance, is having problems at remembering the words to Where Did Our Love Go?. Sleazebag reveals that she encountered the same problem in the previous day (which they didn't bother to show me in the previous episode). The other two young ladies, Carrie "Sullen Doherty" Zaruba and Rachel "Totty Spelling" Leslie, are not amused. When Lizzie Skankguire fumbles up again, the other two deliberately keep going in their designated "Baby, baby, where did our love go? Baby, baby, ooh baby, baby!" parts. You can't tell someone you don't care and you are certainly not amused any better than that kind of not-too-subtle steamrolling.

Elsewhere, strife is bubbling in the Parent Trap group. Gina's parents are in the room and Lonnie, the father, has taken Janay's side and is now telling the young ladies, using a chart pinned on a board (really!), that remembering the words of the song is very, very important. On behalf of future Miss Paula Abduls everywhere, Natalie is looking very pinch-faced. There there is the group Bints & Queens comprising of Conty Bint, Dezmond "the one that met Miss Paula under the table" Meeks, and some guy who looks like the harmless funny sidekick of a teen hero named William Blake. Conty Bint is naturally the lead singer. Dezmond is appointed choreographer and he even dresses the part in a sleeveless black top and tight black leather pants that will get him laughed out of the Village People Appreciation Night at the most tastelessly flamboyant gay club in town. Their choreography consists of the three of them making short little hops forward while thrusting their crotches forward with each hop. The words "demented little midgets", for some reason, come to mind whenever I see them do their "dance". Conty Bint tells the camera that he is in "the worst position" because he is "no dancer". Newsflash, sweetie, all three of them are no dancers. For some reason, the Bints & Queens decide that the best way to motivate the Conty Bint is to have them perform their pornstar-midget-gone-berserk dance at the lobby so that other people will laugh at them. Conty Bint predicts to the camera that the performance will be a "train wreck". Oh please, "train"? Try "toilet carriage". The other two shake off his concerns and Conty Bint tells the camera that, if that's the case, he hopes that he will be the last man standing of the three.

Sleazebag voices over that it is very late but most people are still awake as there are less than nine hours before the auditions begin. Lizzie Pha is huddled alone on her bed, crying. It turns out that Sullen Doherty and Totty Spelling have banished her here so that she can learn the words to the song. Of course, Lizzie Pha is currently more interested in feeling sorry for herself than to learn the words. Sullen and Totty, in the other room, tell the camera that it's a pity that they can't just ditch Lizzie Pha and do their thing as a duo. They then walk into the bedroom to confront Lizzie Pha. Sullen asks Lizzie why it is so difficult for Lizzie to remember the words to a simple song. She wonders what Lizzie is doing on the show if Lizzie cannot remember the words to a "simple pop song" even after three hours of trying. Three hours? That's... slow. Lizzie goes, "Hello, I can sing!" Sullen is not moved. She correctly tells Lizzie that it takes more than being able to sing to make it as a pop star.

Back to the Parent Trap group, Lonnie is really getting on my nerves and apparently Natalie's too, although Natalie must be more annoyed for the fact that she's being put in her place for finding choreography more important than singing. She grips her head as if she's having a big headache and asks aloud whether the parents can just leave. The mother vows that she will be back as she and the father leave. Over at the Murder, Inc, Scott decides to show up at last. It's nice that he actually cares, eh? Danny calls him an antisocial person. Scott just says that he's here to "work on this thing" until they are ready. He and Danny say that there are no animosity between them although the Pimpslapper gives the camera a look of skepticism. Scott makes a stupid face at the camera that will endear him to serial killers waiting for their turn at the electric chair everywhere and joins his buddies inside the room.

Sleazebag voices over that many groups are now getting ready to sleep while others are determined to rehearse until they get it right. Meanwhile, let's check on Jaclyn. She's still at the hospital and it turns out that her mother will not be winning the Best Supporting Actress award for her portrayal as a multiple sclerotic drama queen at the brink of death because it turns out that she's just a drama queen stricken with food poisoning. Encouraged by this turn of event, Jaclyn returns to the hotel in a cab. She rehearses her song with some lady who is seated beside her. Is that the mother? Anyway, her group members Rashida Johnson and Faith Greenwood are not going to wait for her though. Rashida has in fact gone to bed long before Jaclyn shows up. Faith hugs her and asks her how the mother is.

Sleazebag strolls along the hotel room hallway looking for hot illegal immigrant male Puerto Rican cleaners that he can blackmail into an illicit shag in the equipment room. Seeing the camera, he pretends to be doing something more wholesome, like checking on the rooms to see who are still awake and making lots of muffled noises behind their doors. Well, it looks like the Mean Gurrls are still awake. No, little boys, don't get too excited, it's not the kind of noises Sleazebag and King Tut make behind their hotel room door at 3:00 am. Lizzie Pha is arguing with Sullen Doherty. Sullen says that she is not going to let Lizzie Pha bring them down with her and says that Totty agrees with her. Totty says weakly that maybe they should all just go to bed as she doesn't want to keep going about this all night. Sullen insists that she can go all night if she has to and once more tells Lizzie Pha off for still flubbing her lines. Lizzie Pha gives the camera a self-righteous look, as if she has any grounds to portray herself as a victim of persecution, and says that she doesn't give a damn about the performance. Sullen points out the direction of the door. Lizzie says that she will just have to practice on her own and flounces off. Sullen and Totty exchange an exasperated look and agree that the way things are turning out for them "totally sucks".



7:00 am. Sleazebag says that it is now "day three" of the Boot Camp, which is not true because the previous episode spanned two days so this should be day four. Anyway, Sleazebag has proven in previous seasons that he is abysmal when it comes to counting so I'm probably right in this. Some groups are awake and lookee-here, Lonnie is back to boss the Parent Trap all around. Natalie is not happy. To the camera, Lonnie insists that he is not trying to boss anyone around, he is just "Gina's dad" and he just wants to stand back and offers a few advice where necessary. Riiight. Lonnie concludes his speech with a demented giggle that makes me feel really sorry for Gina. On the other hand, Dezmond "Federline to Miss Paula's Britney" Meeks is happy to take credit as the choreographer for the Bints & Queens. That's good. Whenever I see demented dogs humping the furniture, I can happily say that Dezmond invented that dance.

Lizzie Pha doesn't show up for the Mean Gurrls' final rehearsal before the audition. The Mean Gurrls are supposed to get together at 6:30 am for one last practice. Now, two very angry young ladies knock on Lizzie Pha's door to see what happened to her. It turns out that Lizzie Pha has no idea that they are supposed to meet at 6:30 am. She says that the other two never told her about the rehearsal. Surly says that she and Totty talked about this in the elevator on their way back to their rooms late last night. Lizzie Pha says that the two ladies are talking among themselves about the 6:30 am rehearsal, which suggests to me that Lizzie does know about the 6:30 am but she is pissed that the ladies don't address her directly so she decides to pull some passive-aggressive crap on her own. Anyway, it's already 7:00 am and the auditions are starting soon so Sullen doesn't want to argue anymore as everything is moot at this point. Lizzie says that she will be ready in a while and shuts the door. Sullen and Totty once again exchange dark looks as they walk away from the door.

Everywhere outside the Orpheum Theatre, groups are rehearsing everywhere they can. Some even rehearse in the toilet. The show appropriately includes some flushing sounds to accompany the group singing in the toilet. This brings us to the Archies. Meet John "Archie" Zisa (whose father, if you remember, is the gangster boss, oops, mayor of Hackensack), Kurtis "Reggie" Parks, and Jamie Paul "Fat Jughead" Koehler. The jokers didn't even rehearse last night. They figure that their number is 36, which will put them towards the end of the audition, so they will have a few hours to get things right this very morning. Their first attempt is laughable. John, who looks too goofy and I'm sure has gotten under my skin without me knowing how, says that he is sure that "it will come". Yes, that's what they always say. Elsewhere, Jaclyn's group finally get together for the first time to rehearse. As for the Mean Gurrls, Sullen Doherty tries to joke to the camera that she takes her dancing cues from Totty but it's clear that the only performance the trio would relish doing on stage is one where Lizzie and the other two get to throw chairs and tables at each other.

Sleazebag strikes a hero pose with his left leg raised on a step and talks about how groups must set aside their differences in order to put up a good performance. Why is it so hard to take him seriously when he's being so nice and sensible?

And now, the auditions begin. First are the Bints & Queens with Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch, complete with trademarked crotch thrusts and mini-hops. Conty does okay, William sounds like a more masculine Donald Duck, and Dezmond completely oversings his bits. Randy Randy finds the performance "interesting" and Miss Paula wants to know who the demented bugger that did the choreography is. King Tut spares Dezmond the shame of answering by saying that the choreography is "hideous". Randy Randy doesn't feel that the group is cohesive but he, speaking for the judges, allows Conty Bint and Dezmond through while William will have to go home. Sleazebag talks about how William being the first casualty of the auditions set shockwaves throughout everyone else. Oh my god, someone has to go today! Why didn't anyone tell these wannabes of this horrifying development?

Ah, the Archies. It will come, John promises. It will come.

The Mean Gurrls are up next with Where Did Our Love Go? and ugh. I'm starting to believe that Lizzie Pha cannot remember her words because she is too transfixed by Sullen Doherty and Totty Spelling attempting to sing. Both Totty and Sullen don't just sing, they try to sing in a sexy manner, complete with odious orgasmic catches in their voices, and they come off as silly little girls trying too hard to imitate Britney Spears. Lizzie Pha is a complete trainwreck. Despite having the whole night to remember the words, she completely forgets them and attempts to ad-lib, horribly, to cover her sorry ass. The whole performance is a mess. Randy Randy says that he doesn't feel the passion in the performance. Ah, but can he feel the hatred among the Mean Gurrls? Miss Paula reprimands Lizzie Pha for forgetting the words for the second time in this Boot Camp. Lizzie Pha tries to defend herself by saying it's the lack of sleep that is making her forget the words. King Tut cuts in to ask sarcastically just how hard it is to remember the words to a song that goes "Baby, baby, where did our love go? Ooh baby baby..." Lizzie Pha desperately insists that she is really good. Miss Paula shakes her head and says that she can't see that. King Tut announces that Sullen and Totty can move on but Lizzie Pha will be going home. A tearful Lizzie Pha exits and tells the camera before she walks down the pavement that she is a beautiful person and the show is unfair and... and... she just stops herself, squeaks a goodbye, and walks back home. Oh, where did the love go? Poor Lizzie Pha.

After another awful attempt at singing, the Archies collapse into laughter. Jamie Paul insists that their performance will great. I know, I know. It will come.

Anwar and the Boys are next. It's also Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch for them. Mario Pipsqueak oversings in a very corny manner and really, he is giving off Guarini vibes effortlessly. Jamar's voice has no power so he wisely chooses to ad lib instead to give the performance some funky ornamentations. Anwar is good and his voice is rich and soulful. Overwhelmed with having to deal with three penises on the stage, Miss Paula chokes back her tears and calls them "refreshing". She marvels at how much these guys make her "enjoy them". Intoxicated by male pheromones, Miss Paula sends all three through before running off to her dressing room to search for the vibrator that she keeps in her cosmetic drawer. It's not there. "Sleazebag!" she screams. Er, yes, I'm kidding about the vibrator.

Kurtis Parks draws inspiration from the Gettysburg address to spur the Archies on. Don't ask. It all somehow makes sense in a very bizarre manner that the Archies are flopping badly so that the people of the future will never forget the fight for freedom that took place in Gettysburg. Something about not taking freedom for granted, I suppose. I love these guys.

Now comes the Parent Trap ground. Ugh, all three young ladies have no harmony at all on Hey, Mr Postman. Janay sounds like she's forcing the words out through gritted teeth and every word she sings is giving her pain. Gina sounds like a weary, jaded underaged hooker who smokes too much. Natalie sounds sweet. So naturally Natalie has to go home while the two horrible singers get to go through. Natalie cries on the phone to someone called Ryan. Maybe now she will start listening to stage daddies who think they know best about everything.

Quickly, the show cuts to a montage of the judges bringing down some groups. Some group is not good enough in King Tut's estimation to even perform in a two-star hotel. Many people are cut. Interestingly, many good-looking guys are sent home. That makes Randy Randy's talk about searching for a male winner in his interviews a little suspect, really.

6:33 pm. Sleazebag voices over that the judges are looking for groups who stand out and take a chance. Somehow this has to do with the Murder, Inc, although I have no idea why. This group is going to sing I Can't Help Myself. Scott tells the camera that he is going to "blaze it". Some people say they will kill to be famous. Somehow, when Scott says it, it becomes too literal for comfort, if you get my drift. And then they sing. The Pimpslapper sounds pretty good but he is outclassed by his group mates. Danny sounds great. Scott sounds very good, but frankly, I'm starting to dislike his attitude to get too warmed up to his performance. The Pimpslapper, by the way, is holding a teddy bear while he is singing. I suspect that this teddy bear thing tips the scale towards the judges' decision to send him home because while his singing is decent, there is nothing more wretched than a grown man holding a teddy bear on stage, even if this teddy bear is his son's and therefore his good luck charm. I'm quite sad to see the Pimpslapper go because he's quite a character. The other two are going through to the next round. Danny quickly starts lavishing praises on Scott - everyone loves to suck-up to a victor - before remembering to give a token compliment to the "Big Dawg" Pimpslapper. The Pimpslapper just walks away without a word.

The Archies are laughing because their forgetting the words to their song is so funny. Jamie Paul wonders aloud whether they should have practised last night instead of heading straight to bed. Hmm, if he keeps at it, he may find the answer soon enough.

Next is... oh my, I have no words to describe how awful this group is. Aroo Bint, one of the three faux rockers on this show, jumps up and down and starts shaking his head so that his long hair rotates around his head like a helicopter blade. He, Lamar Jefferson (not to be confused with his twin Jamar), and that odious boyband reject Tim Sauer are wearing black singlets under unbuttoned white shirt and they all look like really tragic disco ducks. The "dancing", oh my! And the singing! Aroo growls like a zombie whose throat has long rotted out completely, Lamar sounds even worse than his brother even when he tries to do the same speak-rap thing his brother did with Anwar and the Boys, and Tim proves exactly why boy bands are evil and must be exterminated with extreme prejudice. Randy Randy and King Tut rip these guys at least five new ones, with King Tut even saying that he doesn't know why he bothers to fly down here from the UK to witness such "shambolic" performance. He says that the guys look like utter fools on the stage.

And now the judges confer to decide on who they should kick out. Here, Miss Paula decides to go wonky on everyone again. I hope her hysterical and often insane outbursts won't be a pattern in this season because I don't find them even a bit funny. She starts freaking out that Lamar Jefferson will be going home. She doesn't come out and say that it is Lamar's penis that she is fighting so hard to keep to her bosom but it's not a hard guess - Tim Sauer is going through (as I shall find out later) and I can't see her fighting that hard to keep Aroo Bint on the show. She shrieks that she saw Randy Randy put "yes" next to Lamar's name on Randy Randy's evaluation sheet and blames King Tut for making Randy Randy change his mind. Randy Randy says that he changes his mind after seeing the performance. That's reasonable but Miss Paula is never reasonable when it comes to anything. She goes on and on about this, even calling Uncle Nigel to come over and back her up. She apparently wants producerial support in her drug-addled assertion that two no's and one yes does not mean an elimination. For some reason, King Tut takes offense at her not speaking to his face and calls her on it. They argue, with him saying that she doesn't dare tell him things to his face and she responding by shrieking that she is not talking to his face because Uncle Nigel is standing behind her so she has to turn away from King Tut to speak him. Oh, and like her, the executive producer cannot stand King Tut either, she adds. "Ooh!" go the wannabes watching from the seats behind the judges. Uncle Nigel tells Miss Paula that two no's and one yes mean that the person is eliminated no matter how much Miss Paula wants to sleep with this person. So it's a no then.

King Tut turns to the audience and says dryly, "Sorry about that." Randy Randy adds, "We just had a discussion." The wannabes in the audience laugh nervously. King Tut announces that Tim is a lucky guy because they are letting him through. As for Lamar and Aroo Bint, they will be going home. King Tut then hugs Miss Paula and says that he will make it up to her later. They are going for Botox treatment together later that evening. Randy Randy announces that love is back in the house and the wannabes in the audience go "Awwwwww." They completely miss King Tut's stabbing hand motions behind Miss Paula's neck as he holds her with his other hand.

Sleazebag voices over that the day is ending. The Archies are certain that they are coming up to shape. Meanwhile, Sleazebag confirms that Jaclyn's mother was indeed stricken by food poisoning. I'm evil because I suspect that the woman deliberately swallowed a gallon of black oil just to create some drama for herself on this show. Meanwhile, Jaclyn and the Pussycats take to stage to perform I Can't Help Myself. Jaclyn sounds like she's forcing the words to come out from her throat. Rashida says that her cold has gotten worse, which explains her flat and nasal performance. Faith forgets some of her words and tries to ad-lib to cover her ass. Her voice is a little on the thin side. After the performance is over, Faith announces that while it's no excuse, they have only started rehearsing together as a group this morning because Jaclyn's mother was hospitalized last night and Jaclyn spent most of the night by her side. She hopes that the judges will be lenient on them. Miss Paula tells the young ladies that they don't have to worry because all three are moving on to the next round. The three ladies hug in joy and King Tut winks at one of them. I think he's winking to Rashida. Oh, and Jaclyn's mother "miraculously" shows up in time to hug the three young ladies. Oh yes, she definitely ate those plastic slippers on purpose. Next week, she will overdose on sleeping pills and have to get her stomach pumped!

Quickly, the show cuts to a montage of some groups flubbing badly. Is that Bao Nguyen from the previous season? It looks like he came back for this season and made it to at least this far. He forgets his words. His group mate Nicholas Kolbosky (dressed in something he has borrowed from a certain Mr Sandeep's wardrobe) flubs "I can't help myself", singing "I just love myself" instead. The judges and Sleazebag find this so funny that they devote an entire scene to this flub. Wow, people in Hollywood loving themselves so much - a truly hilarious concept indeed. Randy Randy says that Nicholas Self-Love is going home. There are no indication of how the other two guys in his group fare with the judges.

Finally, the Archies take the stage with their song, Shout. It's hilarious. The harmony, or the lack of it, is painful on the ears. Kurtis sounds truly awful, but John Zisa sounds really good even if he forgets nearly every word in his parts of the song. By the way, from what I can see on the TV, he dresses to the left. Just thought some people would like to know that. Jamie Paul has a really nice voice and I may overlook that crooner thing if he keeps at it. Their performance has many awkward moments where they just let the piano play while they try to remember the words to the song. Randy Randy says that he is speechless because none of the Archies actually sang a song in his opinion. John Zisa proves that he can have a career in politics by answering in a completely non-sequitor manner that the Archies chose Shout because no other group chose it. So I guess he's trying to say that the Archies flop spectacularly because it is a calculated song choice risk on their part that backfires on them. Nice one, John, I nearly believe that the crap doesn't smell. King Tut says that it is a pity that the Archies were "conquered by a song" and because the judges really like all of them, the judges will give the Archies one more chance. Much celebration ensues among the Archies, with Jamie Paul openly crying and has to be helped by Kurtis to go backstage. Kurtis tells Sleazebag that the judges must have seen something in the Archies that persuaded them to give the lads another chance. Yeah, that something is Don Zisa telling King Tut that he will send his men to pack some lead into King Tut and feed him to the fish if he doesn't let Little Johnny through. Jamie Paul is still blubbering about how he thought he was gone but oh, he is still here so now he is so humbled and thankful, blubber blubber blub blub blub.

Sleazebag summarizes the show. 72 others, among them Jennifer Todd the Suburban Housewife, Shunta, the creepy music teacher Miss Angel, and Little Ow Ow, will be moving on to the next round. In the next episode, apparently the wannabes will be put through their toughest audition yet. Since there are a few more Boot Camp episodes to go, I doubt though that they will move to the penultimate audition this soon. Sleazebag goes, "Sleazebag out!" and the show ends here.