Justin Bieber’s Purpose is, without doubt, one of the best recent musical efforts to come from a massive douchebag. Oh, I know, the music industry is basically an Olympics of douchebags, but Mr Bieber’s brand of twatwafflery is actually pretty sad due to how emotionally and mentally stunted he often comes off as. Therefore, it is such a cruel twist of fate that Purpose is a fabulous kind of pop music album – it’s full of well-crafted, poised, and catchy songs that will make anyone feel horribly conflicted about liking the songs here. Because, you know, Justin Bieber.
Mind you, the songs can be quite insufferable if I listen closely to the words. Songs like Where Are U Now? and Mark My Words attempt to portray him as a misunderstood, tragic hero used and victimized by other people. Really, people, he’s not that spoiled and childish vandalizing, table-flipping, creepy-stalking, overly-tattooed dumbass – those are all lies, spread by haters and mean people! Mark My Words even have spoken bits in which he attempts to dispense words of wisdom about he only has his songs to share with everyone – that is all he has to give. So no, no herpes, no syphilis, just his… words. Love Yourself – while being as catchy as hell – sees him mocking an ex-girlfriend who is reduced to trying to extend her fifteen seconds using his name. I don’t have enough eye rolls to react to that one.
But if I tune out the words, then oh my goodness. Perhaps following in Usher’s footsteps, Mr Bieber’s management hooks him up with EDM people, so this time around, the tracks are a mature kind of hybrid, blending urban contemporary and EDM vibes with disgustingly infectious results. I’ll Show You gets the party started after the pretentious (but admittedly very listenable Mark My Words) with a throwback to the 1970’s kind of Chic or Earth, Wind & Fire groove, and it doesn’t stop. Of course, you can argue that there is a repetitive vibe in all the tracks – Where Are U Now?, What Do You Mean?, and Sorry are basically the same song all over again, for example – but who cares? Like the great Paula Abdul would say, shut up and dance.
The ballads aren’t bad at all – the title track is just beautiful, for instance, and Trust can give Justin Timberlake a run for his money in the “white boy pretending to be black” category.
Anyway, yes, Purpose is a fabulous pop album. There is no shame is enjoying it if you do what I do – hide the CD sleeves and tell everyone you are listening to The Weeknd. That’s really a big stretch, but who knows, people may just think you’re crazy, and that’s probably better than being known as that person who enjoys listening to Justin Bieber’s new album.