Wanda and Vision are now… a couple in a Bewitched ripoff? Say what?
A woman is so heartbroken that a statue offers to become human so that he can pity-shag her. Romance, ladies and gentlemen.
Go watch the opera of Eugene Onegin instead, at least that one has music and people waving their arms around.
There is a homicidal Bigfoot here, but the real killer is the stinging boredom from sitting through this thing.
The hero and the heroine have fabulous sex… and more sex… and more sex… and oh god, please stop.