Main cast: Eve Mauro (Dusty), Corey Sevier (Chip), Jasen Wade (Derek), Danielle Chuchran (Tomboy), Paul D Hunt (Joker), Matthew Reese (DC), William Rubio (Chapo), Danny James (Herc), Kevin Lyde (Thunder), James Galsford (Bravo), and Walter A Carmona (Osombie)
Director: John Lyde
Believe it or not, Osombie isn’t a film from The Asylum. Yes, it’s about Osama bin Laden turning into a zombie and causing his followers to do the same as well, but this is a product of a Kickstarter (which I did not contribute to, so put the gun away) that somehow managed to get enough people to cough up the money. Well, on the bright side, this movie isn’t particularly awful. It just under-delivers.
Osama bin Laden is dead, the news didn’t lie. The thing is, he didn’t stay dead. What happens is that, before the US soldiers came for him, Osama injected himself with some kind of serum that turns him into a zombie after his death – as the poor soldiers bringing his body back in a helicopter would find out shortly after the movie opens. Apparently his followers did the same thing too, as Iraq is now infested with zombies.
Anyway, we have a special military unit composed of what seems like soldiers from various countries currently in Iraq on a secret mission. They have to kill many zombies to accomplish this mission, of course. Corey Sevier plays the one that always runs around shirtless (nice view, but I doubt this is something one should do in a zombie-infested environment), there is another guy who imagines that he is killing his ex-wife each time he pulls the trigger, a British guy defined by his accent, a Hispanic guy defined by his tubby body and his tendency to call everyone “amigo”, the one that cracks all the jokes, the serious one… oh, there’s the token female to complete the diversity, of course: Tomboy, who double-duties as gun-totting babe and katana-wielding heroine. Also in the movie is a yoga instructor Dusty who comes to Iraq to look for her brother, a conspiracy nut who suspects that Osama is still alive and has came here earlier to locate and kill Osama. The dude has no idea that Osama is now a zombie, of course.
I’d have thought Osombie would be a crazy over the top comedy horror movie, but it actually takes itself pretty seriously. It tries to capture the whole Dirty Dozen feel with the soldiers, for instance, and it attempts to inject humor by having its characters show some wit instead of falling back on slapstick comedy. Unfortunately, Kurt Hale’s script is clichéd to the point of being dire. The main characters are stereotypes, and even they even die in a stereotypical manner. I can’t help thinking that this movie would have worked wonders if it had chosen to poke fun at zombie movie clichés instead of merely rehashing them. Also, the attempts at witty humor frequently falls flat. The cast is actually quite competent in their roles and they have some pretty good comic timing, so the fault lies in the awkward, try-hard type of “witty limes” they are stuck with.
There is some inconsistency with the zombies, as sometimes they can run fast while at other times they shamble like slow pokes. The budget is limited, so the zombies look really fake, but I don’t think anyone can expect more from a low-budget flick like this one.
At any rate, Osombie is a missed opportunity. It could have been a satire or a parody, or even simply a comedy, but instead it decides to become another movie bogged down by tired zombie tropes and a hammy script. Still, I guess it’s worth a watch if you’re really desperate to watch a movie in which Corey Sevier is almost always without a shirt. It’s okay, I won’t judge.
Loves boys that sparkle, unicorns, money, Lego, chocolates, tasty buffets, video game music, and fantastical stories.