Samhain Publishing, $3.50, ISBN 978-1-61923-275-4
Contemporary Romance, 2016
Bianca “Charlie” Charleston is officially hot now. A guy almost tripped when he saw her at a grocery store, so she knows that she has arrived. Say bye bye to Bibi, the overweight, invisible girl from high school, because Charlie is here to show everyone at the annual Millard Fillmore Suburban Hospital Carnival that the sexy thing has… wait, the hero’s name is Coletrane Johnson? Coletrane Johnson? Let me guess, his parents were high on both jazz and acid when they named him, because I don’t think there is anyone these days named Coletrane Johnson unless that person is at least 40 and has a wispy beard, paunch, and receding hairline?
Anyway, because she’s hot, she doesn’t have to do much to get him into her bed, and as a plus, he’s the hot guy from those schooldays when she’d do anything for him to go all Justin into her Bieber. Anyway, she’s hot now, he’s hot, and she decides that she loves him, and only then she wonders how he’d react if he knows that he’d been all Zayn in her Malik, the former fat chick from school. Yes, you can be cynical and wonder, “So, what’s the big deal? As long as she doesn’t eat and she does the treadmill ninety hours a week, his love for her will stay strong and true, right?”
Still, he insists that his love for her is no Niall in the Horan, true love instead of a one direction passion, and she’s so happy, the end.
Okay, so No Place Like Home is probably going to get cynical bats like me sneering, but still, this is a quick and easy read. There is some amusing banter, sizzling sex, and a fat-chick-gone-hot fantasy for people who like that kind of thing. It’s not the deepest or most well-developed romance, but at its length, it’s actually pretty amazing how the author manages to balance all that sex and humor to serve a pleasant lightweight fantasy. If you don’t expect too much depth, and you can look past the hero’s name, you’d be fine, I think.