The Replacements (2000)
Main cast: Keanu Reeves (Shane Falco), Gene Hackman (Coach Jimmy McGinty), and Brooke Langton (Annabelle Farrell)
Director: Howard Deutch

I'm sure if I have ever dreamed of scoring with the pretty cheerleader in high school, while dreaming I look like Keanu Reeves, and if I haven't seen sports movies before, I would love The Replacements to pieces. Too bad I haven't, I don't, I have, and I don't. Not at all.

The rich, filthy rude, lazy, and pompous rich jocks of NFL have gone on strike (it's 1987), so our ragtag noble, shining-talent-waiting-to-be-unearthed loser team gets a go. (Wait until they become rich, then we'll see if they are any better than the NFL depicted here). Shane Falco, the only pretty guy here, scores the final touchdown as well as with the only pretty woman here, cheerleader/stripper auditioner Annabelle.

Along the way there are the usual almost-win's, disappointments, bickering, "I am leaving! You don't appreciate me!" tantrums, and inane "He scores! He scores!" to underscore our hero's pinnacle of glory in coitus. Yawn.

Of course at the end we will all see the underdogs win, and all the naysayers and booers will give them a standing ovation. Me, I wonder why there's no Keanu Reeves full frontal nude shots. Maybe then it'll negate some of the overall predictibility of this silly movie. "He scores!" my bum.

Rating: 48

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