Sidewalks Of New York (2001)
Main cast: Edward Burns (Tommy), Rosario Dawson (Maria), Dennis Farina (Carpo), Heather Graham (Annie), David Krumholtz (Ben), Brittany Murphy (Ashley), Stanley Tucci (Griffin), Michael Leydon Campbell (Gio/Harry), Nadia Dajani (Hilary), Callie Thorne (Sue), Aida Turturro (Shari)
Director: Edward Burns

Oh, for goodness sake, Edward Burns - stop! Please stop these embarrassing male machismo exercises in Madonna/Whore complex masquerading as romantic chick-flicks. The Brother McMullen is vile, She's The One is repugnant, and this, Sidewalks Of New York is malodorious and putrefyingly bad.

I know Eddie wants to be Woody Allen, only with the sex factor. At least next time when Eddie has every hot chick in the movie going after him, he wouldn't look so desperate and hard-up like the delusional Woody (hah!) Allen.

Sidewalks Of New York, filmed in a hand-camera style, boasts a wide cast of characters. I don't know why. Put all these characters together and I'll still get only half a character. That's how flimsy and shallow this movie is.

Plot? Tommy wants to love Maria who may love her ex Ben still. Ben is trying to woo Ashley who is sleeping with Griffin who is married to Annie who is attracted to Tommy. Get that?

It's very easy. Tommy is the Slick One. Maria is the Klutzy One. Ben is the Slick One. Ashley is the Klutzy One. Griffin is the Slick One. Annie is the Klutzy One.

Oh, forget it.

In this movie, men are all alike. Women are either those you sleep with or those you love. Put in some shockingly bad acting even from Eddie himself and some corny dialogues that will wither a patch a Hallmark greeting cards, and Sidewalks Of New York has me throwing up all over it.

Eddie, please. See a shrink, go read Nancy Friday or Susan Faludi or something, just stop making these awful movies!

Rating: 16

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