Main cast: Diego Luna (Cassian Andor), Genevieve O’Reilly (Mon Mothma), Denise Gough (Dedra Meero), Kyle Soller (Syril Karn), Adria Arjona (Bix Caleen), Faye Marsay (Vel Sartha), Muhannad Bhaier (Wilmon Paak), Anton Lesser (Major Lio Partagaz), Alistair Petrie (General Davits Draven), Jonjo O’Neill (Captain Kaido), Richard Sammel (Carro Rylanz), and Thierry Godard (Lezine)
Director: Janus Metz
Oh good, another time skip, because nothing says “we totally planned this arc carefully” like yeeting the story another whole year into the future with zero noticeable consequences. It’s like skipping leg day for 52 weeks straight and then insisting you’ve made gains.
Yes folks, Andor continues its glorious tradition of not knowing what to do with itself, and now, in Messenger, everyone’s brooding around on Yavin IV.
You know, the place you actually cared about back when Star Wars was fun. Wilmon’s there, Andor’s there, Bix is there… all collectively contributing to the plot in ways so subtle and understated that I’m convinced the writers forgot the show was named after one of them. I swear if you took a shot every time Andor actually drove the plot forward in this episode, your liver would write you a letter thanking you for staying sober throughout this episode.
Meanwhile, the real MVPs of this increasingly janky space drama, Dedra Meero and her lovesick Twitch mod boyfriend Syril Karn, are up to their usual nonsense on Ghorman.
Karn, once again auditioning for the biggest doormat in the galaxy, practically throws himself at Meero’s feet. She’s over it. She’s over him. She’s using him like a used-up promo code on Galactic Amazon Prime, and watching it play out is less cat-and-mouse intrigue and more dude tipping 50 bucks on OnlyFans hoping for a “thanks babe”. It’s tragic. It’s hilarious. It’s the best subplot this show has left.
Elsewhere: people talk. They travel. Then they talk again. Nothing catches fire. Nothing explodes. No one even dramatically removes a cloak. The galaxy’s most dangerous rebellion continues to be the world’s slowest HR nightmare.
Ah, but then — CAMEO TIME! General Davits Draven appears, which has the YouTube lore bros screeching like seagulls that spotted an unattended bag of chips.
“OMG DRAVEN’S BACK! TOP 20 FACTS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT DRAVEN WHO APPEARED FOR 4 MINUTES IN ROGUE ONE AND WHO WILL NOW SAVE THE REBELLION SINGLEHANDEDLY!”
Cue seal clapping. Cue X threads. Cue me sighing so hard my neighbor thought I’d fallen down the stairs.
Five episodes left, people. Five. Episodes. Maybe one day something will happen. Or maybe we’ll get another time skip and find out the Empire’s been overthrown off-screen while the cast were busy making sad faces in the woods.
Either way, we’re nearing the finish line. Five more episodes, so bring on the next episode!
