Kiss of the Dragon (2001)

Posted by Mrs Giggles on October 30, 2001 in 2 Oogies, Film Reviews, Genre: Action & Adventure

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Kiss of the Dragon (2001)
Kiss of the Dragon (2001)

Main cast: Jet Li (Liu Jian), Bridget Fonda (Jessica Karmen), Ric Young (Mister Big), Burt Kwouk (Uncle Tai), Max Ryan (Lupo), Kentaro (Chen), Laurence Ashley (Ajaand), and Tchéky Karyo (Jean-Pierre Richard)
Director: Chris Nahon

Memo to Jet Li: please don’t ever speak until you’ve mastered the English language. I mean it. Any attempt at enjoying Kiss of the Dragon as a camp movie is ruined by his “Ayyyyee sujeeesst zat you will not zdoo zat again ifzz ayyee weerrz you” that has me cringing in horror. Please shut up.

Is there a plot? Do bear in mind this movie doesn’t pretend to be anything more than a no-brainer kung-fu flick where body count is top priority and plot and coherence aren’t. Oh, if you insist. Liu Jian is a super-duper cop guy who takes on a corrupt cop (Richard) and a heroin-trafficking ring. Meanwhile, Jessica, whose pimp is Richard, lends Liu a helping hand, the prostitute with a Platinum American Express for a heart that she is.

But I doubt anyone cares for the plot. Punches! Bloody broken jaws! Woo-hoo! Super-flying kick that cracks your temple! Wow. This is pure fun popcorn cinema at its finest. Then Jet Li has to open his big gap and ruins everything. He is so cute and fine, and he can do my laundry anytime, but I know he has a regal, majestic voice when he is speaking in Cantonese. Here, he is reduced to lisping his poor English in a voice barely above a whisper. It’s pathetic, and it breaks my heart.

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