Jeepers Creepers 3 (2017)

Posted by Mrs Giggles on March 9, 2018 in 1 Oogie, Film Reviews, Genre: Horror & Monster

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Jeepers Creepers 3 (2017)
Jeepers Creepers 3 (2017)

Main cast: Jonathan Breck (The Creeper), Meg Foster (Gaylen Brandon), Gabrielle Haugh (Addison Brandon), Chester Rushing (Buddy Hooks), Stan Shaw (Sheriff Dan Tashtego), Joyce Giraud (Deputy Dana Lang), Jordan Salloum (Kenny Brandon), Ryan Moore (Kirk Mathers), and Brandon Smith (Sergeant Davis Tubbs)
Director: Victor Salva

I’d think Victor Salva will put more effort into Jeepers Creepers 3, considering that he wrote and directed the whole thing, but something went wrong from script to actual movie and the whole thing ends up being a complete bore.

This one takes the worst from both the first and second movies. Like the first movie, this one has many people being very, very stupid. Like the second movie, this one has a large cast that serves both as dead meat walking and annoying distractions that I care nothing for because they are so underwritten. I’m not sure how to even give a coherent synopsis of the plot, as this is one of those “crap just happens” movie.

Let’s see, we are about 23 years after the first movie, and the Creeper is about to wake up and eat again. First, we have a bunch of cops discovering the Creeper’s booby-trapped truck full of dead bodies. Sheriff Dan Tashtego is determined to take that thing down because he knows about its history. Elsewhere, the irritating grandmother-sage type character Gaylen Brandon receives a vision from her dead son Kenny, who was killed by the Creeper a while back, and he warns her to leave the house and take her granddaughter Addison with her as there is something buried in the house that is sought by the Creeper. Instead of listening, Gaylen asks Kenny stupid, time-wasting questions and then weakly asks Addison to go stay at a friend’s house. Needless to say, Gaylen is for some reason traumatized when the Creeper grabs Addison. That old hag should just kill herself for being a colossal moron that ignores the warning of her dead son.

And that’s basically the paper-thin plot. The bulk of the movie revolves around people getting killed. Weirdly enough, the Creeper is now some kind of ninja guy. Where he once flew around generally being a creepy monster, he’s now throwing shurikens and chucking spears like he’s in a Chuck Norris movie now. Needless to say, the whole effect is far from scary and instead being unintentionally cringe-inducing. Addison escapes mostly by luck – oops, she trips over a rock and falls, and lucky for her, the Creeper’s shuriken then misses her, et cetera – so there is no satisfaction in seeing her survive. And since I don’t care about the large cast of poorly developed characters here, seeing them getting killed by barbed traps, ninja stars, and flying kung-fu only makes me roll up my eyes and wonder whether Mr Salva is trying to officially turn the Creeper into a villain from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe.

Jeepers Creepers 3 isn’t scary, interesting, or entertaining. It’s a colossal dud and a complete waste of 100 minutes or so. I won’t even recommend borrowing this to watch, as there are surely a hundred other horror films picked at random that would be far more watchable than this thing.

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