Ellora’s Cave, $2.99, ISBN 978-1-4199-1129-3
Sci-fi Erotica, 2007
Who is that unfortunate fellow on the cover of Intergalactic Nick? He seems to be have an outbreak of rashes all over the poor dear. That poor fellow is not how I’d envision the “twenty-fourth century Don Juan, a Casanova and a gentleman thief” that gives this book its title.
Our 39-year old heroine Louisa “Lulu” Betrand has retired from the police force but she is determined nonetheless to catch the conman/thief and force him out of business. He is the one that got away where she is concerned and she is adamant that she will not fail to capture him a second time. She has set a trap for Nick in New Tokyo and she’s going to spring it right about… now.
Alas, Nick has always known that his “Chief Lulu” is hot on his heels. She’s the one who has always come closest to capturing his rear end so he’s actually half in love with her already.
Whew, he was getting excited just thinking about his African queen. Well, Bermudian queen more aptly.
“Down, boy,” he told Mr. Dick, who’d come up to watch what the fuss was about. He could almost hear him. “Oh Chief Lulu again? She’s beyond our long, burning-hot, extra-veiny-for-heightened-sensations reach, Nick. You should know that. Stay within our range and forget the delectable lady.”
Very dangerous lady.
He’d never run out of adjectives for his Chief Lulu, the woman he’d elected Queen to His All-Time Hall of Bodacious Ladies, Empress of Any and All Things Delicious and Good, Madame La Most Luscious.
Mr. Dick and he shared a head-bobbing jolt of excitement just imagining her lips. And the brains on that woman! Whew! Made it even better.
As the above excerpt will suggest, Intergalactic Nick is a silly and irreverent story. Nick is a dandy who is impossibly vain and won’t shut up. To be honest, I find it hard to see him as a thief here just like I find it hard to envision Lulu as this smart women because they both behave like silly little kids in this story. Nonetheless, for a short story where depth is a luxury rather than a necessity, the fact that it is amusing enough to keep me occupied for, oh, an hour means that it is able to perform its function adequately.