Main cast: Dylan McDermott (Ben Harmon), Sierra McCormick (Scarlett), Kaia Gerber (Ruby), Paris Jackson (Maya), Merrin Dungey (Dr Andi Grant), Mercedes Mason (Michelle), Noah Cyrus (Connie), Adam Hagenbuch (Dylan), and Jamie Brewer (Adelaide Langdon)
Director: Liz Friedlander

Okay, bear with me as I try to explain the story. We have a game developer, Michelle, working on a game called Escape from Murder House, which is of course based on the first season of American Horror Story because why not. These people dragged that season out like a dying bullock forced to work the fields again one more time in that crap season about the apocalypse, twice in this show alone, and who knows how many more times in future shows when Ryan Murphy continues to run out of ideas to keep his pets employed. Speaking of his pets, how’s Lea Michelle doing these days? He is probably working on a glorious romantic comedy musical as a vehicle for her and Darren Criss as a last ditch effort for them to remain relevant.

Back to this one, her son claims that the game doesn’t make sense, so naturally Michelle binge-watches that season, because that is what Mr Murphy and friends want everyone to do as well. Like any sane person would, she decides to purchase that place and quickly gets cut down by the crazy female ghosts haunting that place. Her son decides to burn that place down, and I scream, “Yes! Yes! Burn that crap down!” Then Scarlett from the first two episodes shows up to say that he can’t kill her dead lesbian psycho girlfriend… wait, what… but she’s too late, and then it is revealed that it doesn’t matter in the end as her crazy girlfriend’s ghost is still around anyway.

Then we have the… twist? Whatever, it’s just the show trying to be all clever and meta only to come off instead like a sad stand-up with dementia trying for one last hurrah when the poor thing can barely recall the English language.

The most horrifying thing about this episode is me discovering that Mr Murphy manages to finagle a second season of this turd show, which means I likely have to review that too when it comes out. Damn it, I knew paying attention to this show is a terrible idea.

Game Over. Exactly. Let that house die, damn it, because it’s not even a good season in the first place. Let me retain some good memories of that season, please, of near-naked and totally naked Dylan McDermott heaving and thrusting his rear end at the camera. Oh, those were some fine examples of small screen blessings. I wish I can say the same for much of everything else related to this brand.