Main cast: Rhenzy Feliz (Chad), Madison Bailey (Kelley), Ben J Pierce (Dee), Naomi Grossman (Rabid Ruth), Leonardo Cecchi (Milo), Kyle Red Silverstein (Quinn), Amy Grabow (Tipper Gore), Adrienne Barbeau (Verna), and John Carroll Lynch (Larry Bitterman)
Director: Eduardo Sánchez
I’m not sure what season Drive In is linked to, maybe that American Horror Story: Rectum season that had Evan Peters and Sarah Paulson playing Siamese twins that are constantly experiencing explosive diarrhea, but I do know that this is a crap Riverdale-tier take on the old trope of a work of horror that drives people into degenerate behavior.
Chad and Kelley want to lose their virginity to one another but things are never right. The first 20 minutes of this episode is all about this. I wish I’m joking. If this didn’t tell me that American Horror Stories is basically watered down faux-horror for consoomer teens, I don’t know what will. The movie that is going to drive everyone insane is called Rabbit Rabbit, and it is when this movie is screened during a drive in where Chad is hoping to finally lay the pipe into Kelley that the rest of the town folks turn into ravenous cannibals. So they survive the harrowing friends-turned-monsters, locate the insane film maker’s place, destroy the master print, and then, like most sane people that have just survived basically a zombie apocalypse, run home to have sex while Rabbit Rabbit ends up on Netflix.
If I believed that this show has any sign of intelligence going for it, I may be convinced that it is a blatant satire of streaming service turning people into mindless zombies and Tipper Gore was right to censor movies and stuff. Mind you, the same people supporting her political party are the ones now screaming for censorship anyway, so I don’t know if the word “satire” even applies here. For all I know, this episode is a non-ironic call for more censorship—that will not apply to them, of course, because they are special, the good guys—to protect people from horrible wrongthink.
What I do know is that people should just skip this time-waster of a turd and go watch shows that had done this premise so much, much better, like Cigarette Burns from Masters of Horror or the criminally underrated movie In the Mouth of Madness.
