Forbidden Fiction Publishing, $0.99
Fantasy Erotica, 2012
This story has a princess, and it’s short enough that her name isn’t given, or even necessary come to think of it. I don’t think the princess here is a virgin – she claims that she’s been taken by many, many knights. Then again, she may just be leading the dragon on… but who cares? All people need to know is that the dragon – also no name needed – is looking for some cows to munch on one day when he spots the princess blowing kisses at him instead of screaming in fear like everyone else. He kidnaps her, and discovers that she really would like to be eaten alright.
Do Virgins Taste Better? isn’t your every day erotic romance, which would see authors cheating by having the dragon transform into a dude to do the naughty. This one, people, is a non-shifter dragon. A real dragon. Scales and claws and a long, long tongue. If you read this thing, you will be seeing a lot of that tongue. Now, I don’t know why the princess will get it into her head that getting naked with an actual dragon is a fun thing in the first place, but maybe she just has specific preferences or she has read way too many urban fantasy romances. I don’t know why I am reading this… oh wait, it’s cheap and I thought the dragon will shift into a dude like every other dragon-dudes.
Then again, this isn’t a romance. This is… creepy, disturbing. It also dispenses with much unnecessary stuff like names, places, setting and goes right to business with admirable precision and economy. Only, yikes, a real dragon.
So the whole thing is actually kind of hot in a way that I normally won’t want to admit to other people. Maybe that’s because I don’t have to see the creepy, scaly thing doing those things described here – my mind just registers the words without forming images in my head that would be really disturbing. Hmm, but if that’s the case, then why do I find the whole thing pretty erotic? Do I need some psychological evaluation? Has my time on the Web damaged me so much that Rule 34 stuff doesn’t make me flinch anymore?
At any rate, three oogies. Now, can we all pretend that this never happened?