Boxed In (1997)

Posted July 5, 2018 by Mrs Giggles in 4 Oogies, Idiot Box Reviews, Series: Perversions of Science / 0 Comments

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Boxed In (1997)
Boxed In (1997)

Main cast: Heather Elizabeth Parkhurst (Emmy), Kevin Pollak (Osgood Farkoff), Melanie Shatner (Dulcine), William Shatner (Admiral Kornfeld), and Maureen Teefy (Chrome)
Director: William Shatner

How can I not adore an episode in which William Shatner not only directs and camps up a role, but that role has a name: Admiral Kornfeld? Boxed In is not horror, suspense, or drama: it is a sex farce involving a horny but dim space pilot and a sex droid. And yes, the title is exactly what you are thinking. Somewhat ironically, Chrome’s bookend segments in episode are probably the tamest ones to date.

“Space… the final frontier. My ass.” So begins the adventures of our embarrassingly named space ship pilot, Osgood Farkoff, who is hoping to make his way home alive after a long term manning a rickety space craft all on his own. Not that he is all alone during the journey. He had won a sex droid called Emmy during his travels, who is good with tools… of all kind. She helps to fix the ship while he enjoys the scenery, if you know what I mean. The problem here is that Emmy is well aware that Osgood is waiting to go home to his fiancée Dulcine, and she’s very jealous about that. To give Osgood credit, he’s trying very hard to keep his vow of faithfulness to Dulcine, but as they get closer to Earth, Emmy is determined to seduce him and make him all hers…

Still, he manages to stay faithful. That is, until he is summoned back to Earth, only to be told by Dulcine’s father, the Admiral himself, that there will be no hanky-panky between Osgood and Dulcine until the wedding day… a year from then. That’s when poor Osgood finally breaks down and brings out Emmy again. And that’s also when things go horribly, horribly wrong for our poor guy.

William Shatner is of course a big ham who manages to be creepy and amusing all at once, while Kevin Pollak does a valiant effort in being what seems like the only sane man in the episode… were not for the fact that his blue balls are driving him to desperate measures. Heather Elizabeth Parkhurst is also fun to watch as a sex droid who is also manipulative and jealous at the same time – she isn’t a hapless victim here, that’s for sure! But it is Mr Pollak whose willingness to go through some of the most humiliating scenes one can think of on a TV show that makes him the MVP here.

Okay, so Boxed In isn’t smart or clever. But I laugh a lot, and a part of me also adores this episode for daring to be so audaciously naughty without trying to make a statement or anything like it. It’s what it is, take it or leave it, and I’ll take it. Oh yucks, I sound like Chrome and Emmy now, but still, it’s been fun and I can’t complain!

Loves boys that sparkle, unicorns, money, Lego, chocolates, tasty buffets, video game music, and fantastical stories.

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