Hooker, Wife, For Life
by DB Story, contemporary (2009)
eXcessica, $3.99, ISBN 1-60504-203-X

Despite the provocative title, Hooker, Wife, For Life is, dare I say it, not so hot after all. Of course, if you are put off by the idea of a call girl heroine and all that jazz, you probably shouldn't be reading this story. Then again, this is an eXcessica release, where erotica and romance can come together in ways that can be considered taboo by more mainstream erotic romance publishers, so you shouldn't expect something that doesn't at least push one hot button in this story.

Jeff, a property developer who is telling this story from his first point of view, is visiting Las Vegas on business when he overhears two men in a bar discussing the virtues of a call girl named Star. Intrigued enough to break his habit of never consorting with ladies of the night, our hero searches for her and finds her at her usual club, only to realize that she's far more the woman of his wildest erotic fantasies than he can only dream about.

What I find of added interest here is the presence apparently authentic details of how things are done in such establishments in Las Vegas. I'm always curious about whether they accept credit cards, for example, and now I know. I also didn't know that prostitutes will conduct a clinical examination of a client's private parts before they get down to business, but from here I learn that it seems like some enterprising ladies do just that as a preventive measure from servicing guys with obvious symptoms of STDs. Not that I am suggesting that frat boys buy this story as their unofficial tour guide to Las Vegas on their next spring break, of course, but still, such details are pretty fascinating to read.

As for the story, well, it's too bad that I have never developed a foot fetish because I have a feeling that folks with a thing for feet will find some of the foot-massage scenes here positively sensual.

As for me, I wish the erotic scenes work better for me, but alas, here I find the author's use of fourth-wall breaking techniques distracting. For me, there is nothing to pull me out of an erotic scene faster than the author stopping halfway to address me, the reader. Even then, some of the things that the author interrupts the act to tell me are rather unnecessary, like how Jeff learned to spot a woman's G-spots. Yes, yes, good for him, Viva la Casanova, but come on, does he have to tell me that in the heat of the action? This distracting technique in prose may have some uses if, say, those fratboys I mentioned earlier are using this story as their Vegas Brothel Tour 101 cheat sheet, because they could use some tips on hitting a woman's G-spots too. For me, however, call me crass but I just want to get to the action. Keep the lectures and distracting tangents to a minimum, please.

As for the romance, it's not a particularly exciting one, although I'm quite amused by how Jeff has Star change her life completely for the better and healthier once they decide to hook up. It sort of proves that what I hear about men is right: they want a hot babe who behaves like an uninhibited slut who will try anything, but only for and with them and nobody else, heh. Contrast that to a typical erotic fantasy in a typical romance where the hero often finds a woman's innocence and lack of experience her greatest and most attractive feature and I just have to laugh, really. And yes, I'm going with Mr Story on this one, since he's the man and he should know what he is looking for in a woman!

Okay, let me be serious now. I want to like this story. For a short story, there are some attempts by Mr Story to give the characters some character development. But I personally find Mr Story's narrative technique to be more distracting than engaging, constantly pulling me out of the hooker fantasy. I don't have a problem with the fantasy, in other words, it's the writing style that bothers me.

Rating: 60

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