Gold's Bride
by Sally Odgers, historical (2005, reissue)
Mundania Press, $6.00, ISBN 1-59426-113-X

This book was formerly published as Powderflash by New Concepts Publishing in 1999.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. Yes siree, this is probably a clear shoo-in for the New Milennium Annual Bimbo Awards. Hurrah and congratulations to Miss Garnet Perry.

I can't finish this e-book. Is that unprofessional of me? Oh dear. Who says I'm a professional? I switched this e-book off and watched The Sixth Sense on a pirated VCD in my hotel room instead.

Well, this is what I know so far. Miss Garnet Perry comes to Sydney Cove from England to marry a Mr Landis. She doesn't love him of course. She bumps into a Mr Jeremiah Gold, a self-made gruff man of wealth of his own making. That dumb woman sees his rough appearence and decides that he's a ruffian and unworthy of her regard.

Dearest husband turns out to be a moron under the control of evil Mom-in-law who also holds the purse strings of the family. Miss Bimbo is expected to provide an heir and nothing more. Guess what? Hubby's pathetic in bed and offers her to his buddies for surrogate impregnation (don't laugh). Wifey refuses. He sells her off like a slave. Mr Gold buys her out of pity, and she spends the next few pages scorning and insulting him because he looks like a ruffian.

At this point I consign that dumb woman to Miss Big Lola's Correction School For Idiot Girls and discard this silly story out of my mind.

I have better things to do.

Rating: 06

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