The MacGowan Betrothal
by Lois Greiman, historical (2001)
Avon, $5.99, ISBN 0-380-81541-9

Now, I admit my memory isn't as good as it used to be. The MacGowan Betrothal is so closely linked to the last book, The Fraser Bride. Fraser has long been banished to the UBS hell. So I don't remember much of the details from that story - except that it's a crummy story. Maybe that is why I don't know what the heck is going on in this story most of the time.

So maybe you'll forgive me if this review don't make sense.

Let's see. *crack knuckles* Isobel Fraser is actually the long-lost twin sister of Annora Fraser, heroine of the banished-to-hell book above. Don't ask me how they got separated, please, because I swear I will burst a vein in my brain if I try to untangle the mess. Anyway, Bel looks just like Annie, and Bel works in a kitchen where Annie's the boss of the place. I have no idea how people don't realize that they are identical twins. Amazing. I also wonder why I can't get to see more of the shirtless and short shorts-wearing Team Esquire Lawyers in The Amazing Race. What color will a Smurf's face turn to when I choke that ugly, squeaky bugger? I wonder about a lot of inconsequential things.

Gilmour MacGowan, a rogue of all rogues, and Bel cross paths on Christmas eve, where the cook disapproves when our rogue flirts with so many women. What a male slut! Now she will have to leave the castle. Oh well, she never belonged there anyway. There's also a prophecy that she will marry Gilmour. Apparently marrying a sensitive, funny, decent guy like Gilmour is worse than the hottest fires from hell.

So Bel lives to eke out a miserable life as a cook in an inn, where people try to kill her. I tell you, seeing her sour disposition is enough to make me understand why people go into so much trouble to off that stupid wench. They probably suspect that she deliberately caused all the cream in the inn to turn rancid.

If she's living such a hard life and oh, her poor childhood, don't expect tears from me. Except tears of pain, that is, because I am suffering too.

Bel suspects Gilmour, because he is such a close friend and beloved brother to Ramsay, Annora's husband whom Bel suspect is the actual target of the murders - or something.

Gilmour suspects Bel. I can see why. She is always in such a mood, such a bitch, that it is easy to see her waiting to pounce with a giant meat cleaver in her hand.

Gilmour wants to sleep with Bel. I don't want to know.

Gilmour marries Bel. I still don't want to know.

The story ends. You know what, I still don't want to know.

Rating: 44

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