Main cast: Wesley Snipes (Blade), Kris Kristofferson (Whistler), Dominic Purcell (Dracula), Jessica Biel (Abigail Whistler), Ryan Reynolds (Hannibal King), Parker Posey (Danica Talos), Mark Berry (Chief Martin Vreede), John Michael Higgins (Dr Edgar Vance), Callum Keith Rennie (Asher Talos), and Triple H (Jarko Grimwood)
Director: David S Goyer
Blade is back for a third outing and this time he has amassed a legion of Buffy-lite followers to his side. Okay, that sounds grand but it actually isn’t because most of these Buffy-lites end up as useless bait for the bad guys.
Blade: Trinity is a superb example of meaningless action scenes mostly unburdened by plot. In this movie, Blade is framed by our villains as some deranged murderer on the loose. Captured on TV in his latest rampage which sees him killing a human being in a case of mistaken identity, Blade ends up wanted by the law. Blade loses Whistler – again, and this time probably for good – thanks to their stupidly keeping a base in the open – again. I think the HQ is probably found on every map even. Blade is captured but he is saved by unexpected allies: some Buffy-lite wannabes led by Whistler’s hitherto secret daughter Abigail and her deputy Hannibal King. Blade, being the solo kind of guy, is unwilling to team up with thee Buffy-lites (and after seeing how stupid most of them are, I can’t disagree with him there) but when the villains led by Danica Talos resurrects Dracula himself to cause problems, Blade may end up needing all the back-up he can get.
I don’t know what Dracula is doing in this movie because he doesn’t actually aid the cause of Danica’s posse in any way. But never mind, as I’ve said earlier, I don’t think plot is of any importance in this movie. What is important is that people jump in the air in slow motion and execute backflips and flying kicks while the music in the background plays as loud as possible. On the bright side, Abigail really kicks ass on her own right while Blade is as always cool and silent. Ryan Reynolds, displaying his brand new and no doubt expensive hard-muscled body, talks enough for all three people and offers obligatory comic relief by getting his testicles nearly mauled off by the killer pomeranian of doom (don’t ask).
Big, loud, dumb, and absolutely forgettable, Blade: Trinity offers nothing more than pointless diversion on a boring afternoon. But why watch this one when the previous two are better in offering the same delights?