Leisure, $4.99, ISBN 0-8439-4765-9
Historical Romance, 2000
I really scratch my head at this one. Not because of the morality of the characters – I’m all for chasing after money. Wanna be rich? Be my guest, and please send me a check too. But the characters of Angel’s Gold don’t behave consistently. They behave more in tune to plot requirements than according to character, particularly at key make-or-break moments. Maybe the non-stop adventures of this story have taken their toll on the mental faculties of Angeline “Angel” Prophet and Jesse Cole.
Angel is one of those women stuck in unhappy, unconsummated marriages. After all, her hubby is fat and – eeuw, ug-leeeee. Not like Jesse, whom she finds injured and hides in her cellar – now that’s a sexy one. Our enlightened heroine must have seen the purity underneath all that virility and steaming muscles of our hero, for she immediately offers herself to him. “Teach me to be a woman! Oh, Jesse, yes, help me get out of my unwanted marriage to that FAT, rich, UGLY man! Oh, oh, oh!”
Okay, she didn’t say that. Exactly. But you get the idea.
Anyway, Jesse is mistaken for his twin bro who has gone outlaw. Charlie the outlaw brother has hidden some gold somewhere, and now bad men are after Jesse’s hide (they think he is Charlie). Angel and Jesse and Charlie go retrieve the gold (can you blame them, even though Charlie is obviously deranged?) and lots of adventures happen. Bullets fly – “Let’s shag to forget our near-death brush!” – people get wounded – “Let’s shag to forget our near-death brush!” – the bad guys are catching up! – “Let’s shag to forget our near-death brush!” – and so forth.
The whole thing would’ve been fun if Jesse and Angel don’t act weird on me, changing their minds and doing strange, out-of-character things just so to prolong the story when the steam runs out. I end up not getting them at all, and finally, give up trying to understand them and see the whole story as some mega Road Runner adventure show.