Boroughs Publishing Group, $0.99, ISBN 978-1-941260-71-5
Historical Romance, 2014
A Family for Christmas isn’t as much as a standalone romance as an epilogue to the author’s Ladies of the Abberly Theater series (click on the author’s name above to see the three titles). Two orphan kiddies cross the paths of the happy couples and… aww.
You know, it’s quite pointless to review this short little thing because it’s a Christmas story. Dumping on it is like using the heads of the homeless people on the streets as a public toilet while a choir of badly beaten orphans croak O Come, All Ye Faithful in the background – there is no way one can do this without coming off like that bastard who killed Jesus’s pet puppy. The kids are appropriately beaten down in life, and the little girl, especially, has no compunctions about playing the piteous victim, calling everyone Mommy and begging to stay with Mommy… forever. The boy is more defiant, but artfully so – readers are supposed to think of him as a brat full of willpower and secretly fantasize about the day when he would grow up and lustfully penetrate virtuous damsels… OH NO, MR FBI, I AM ONLY PLOTTING A FUTURE BOOK IN A ROMANCE SERIES, I SWEAR, I AM NOT A PEE-DO HONEST.
Meanwhile, the blissfully wedded and bedded couples are all happy, pure, full of virtuous righteousness, bearing plenty of TLC to battered cute orphans who only want hot parents to cuddle up to. What do you guys expect? It’s Christmas. Jesus died so that all rakes become reformed and all heroines become forcefully fecund to flood the world with beautifully formed babies, so let us all come together, hold hands get down on our knees, and let love pour all over onto us… Let’s surrender our souls and let ourselves go, just like the Good Book would say, unashamed, unrestrained. Ooh.