The Amazing Race 7 : Finale
Previously, right from the beginning, the Robfather and Ambore took part in the seventh season of The Amazing Race and the world went mad. Every episode was all about "They were EVIL!" and "They weren't!" bickerings flying back and forth, and in this finale, all things come to a head when the whole overblown "Good versus Evil" nonsense comes to a boil. You know, in a way I'm glad that the Robcouple don't win because if they do, the outrage from their detractors (who, of course, always insist that the six people out there who dare to admit that they are fans of this Team are more vocal and more obnoxious than they) will be too much for me. I am glad that this season is finally done with, because then I don't have to hear any more whinings from anyone about how the Race was always all about fairplay until the Robcouple ruined it and other rubbish from people who get too worked up and lose all sense of perspective over the Robcouple.
Sorry, you are expecting a recap? Well, yes, this is a recap as much as this season is about a Race and not some rubbishy good trumps evil nonsense. Anyway, that is just me working off steam before I start the recap. Philo recaps the show, once more saying that Rob and Ambore used their fame to go far - yes, because being recognized in two out of thirteen legs is the same as using your fame to go all the way to the finish line - and Uchenna and Joyce are saints - SAINTS - while oh yes, there is another Team, the GOPs. Boy, casting an ex-POW isn't such a good idea now, is it, what with the wet blankets both GI Joe and Barbie Jane turned out to be!
Say hello and goodbye to the Yogi Bears, nice guys who never annoy me, probably because they were outran to the first Pit Stop by the GOPs and never stayed around long enough to join the Moral Majority in the everlasting battle between the Robcouple and The Rest Of Us in this show. The Maybellines made a quick exit from the show next, not that they made any impact on the Race in the first place, followed by the Lilith Sisters who thankfully left before they became even more annoying. The stupendously irritating Patrick whined and wheezed and finally left the Race, which was only disappointing in how he had to take the nice mom Susan with him. The RADs bickered and squabbled but their inability to pound corn did them in. Dumb and Dumber enjoyed five seconds of fame as the Idiots Who Drove Recklessly Until Their Vehicle Crashed before being eliminated for being too stupid to Race. I'm sure they are right now enjoying their pick of groupies from those forum folks who insist that they are slender yet curvy without ever having to eat a burger in the process. The Fat Fatales were finally booted from the Race, not that it stopped them from latching on to the Robcouple Are The Root Of All Evil bandwagon in order to desperately remain in the limelight. The Cannon Fodders finally were taken down and finally, Gretchen shut up on the show. Naturally, she and Meredith keep talking to the press, calling the Robcouple evil and "only lucky", conveniently forgetting that they won't have the dubious honor of being the oldest couple to make the Top Four if they aren't even luckier than the Robcouple. And finally, we are down to the Final Three. The world is waiting for the IVFs to win and reassure humanity that "good people" once more win - because this Race has never been won by nice Teams before, after all - and... and I don't know what else the IVFs' victory is supposed to prove, to be honest, just like I don't know why the IVFs keep going about in the media circuit honking their noses about what good people they are and how good people don't always finish last. Pffft.
Credits. The title of this episode makes me laugh. If you remember, the title of the finale of the previous season is 4 Continents, 24 Cities, 40,000 Miles. What will the title of the finale of the next season be? 6 Continents, 30 Cities, You Bet It's More Than 40,000 Miles?
Philo emerges from a montage of Union Jacks to explain that he is in London, which he describes kindly as a city "rich in history" (as opposed to "a cold and gloomy city obsessed with an ugly inbred royalty). He is at, specifically, Potter's Field, the Pit Stop of the previous leg of the Race and therefore the starting point of this leg of the Race. The show cuts to scene in a rather typical British pub, where the remaining three Teams share a toast before the Robfather asks the other two Teams who will come in second. Joyce, who has ditched her bandanna completely now, squeaks that he is. That's a spoiler! Let's ban that woman! Philo wonders aloud whether the IVFs will move ahead from last spot or whether the GOPs will have any chance at a relationship after this show.
2:47 am. The Robcouple leave. They learn that they must now travel to Kingston, the capital city of Jamaica, a journey of about 4,600 miles. At Kingston, they must take a cab to Port Antonio some 90 miles from Kingston. Their clue awaits them at the Frenchman's Cove at Port Antonio. As the Team leave, the Robfather says to the camera that they are happy to have made it this far but they want to win, blah blah blah. "Just write the check!" he hoots. Okay, that confirms it then: he's not going to win. Thanks for killing the suspense, dude. He and Ambore hop into a cab as he concludes his confessional by pointing out that the final three Team scenario has "the war hero and the beauty queen versus the Survivors versus the Black couple in Jamaica!" He then tries to be funny by putting on some "hey, mon" affectations to the camera. Oh, that man. How can he remain so corny when he's the biggest loser in the history of reality TV? How can you become the biggest loser when you're so darned good at being a reality TV contestant? The world sure works in mysterious ways sometimes.
At the airport, the Robcouple learn that the only flight at Kingston leaves at 12:40 pm. They doublecheck on the Web and sure enough, that's the only flight available for that day. They point out unhappily that the other two Teams will catch up with them.
4:26 am. Wow, how did the GOPs end up trailing this much behind the Robcouple? Was it is the double decker Roadblock? The GOPs leave the Pit Stop only to start arguing because GI Joe wants to take the subway to the airport while Barbie Jane prefers to take a cab. Barbie Jane gives this bizarre confessional to the camera where she says that she thinks she has proved to GI Joe that she's more than some pageant queen or ballerina. Yes, to him she's now an ugly pageant queen and a ballerina who can't balance a bucket of water on her head. Anything else? Barbie Jane simpers that she hopes that GI Joe will see her as a "quality girl" and knows what he is "missing out" on. GI Joe has an equally stupefying confessional about how he, being a soldier, doesn't deal with emotions and other inconvenient nonsense, and he doesn't like the fact that there are "emotional baggages" when it comes to dealing with Barbie Jane. Maybe he should have considered all that before calling her his girlfriend? I'm sure there are women out there open to a no-strings attached affair with an ex-POW. They finally get a cab, with GI Joe getting the last word by making a face when he realizes just how expensive a trip to the airport will be.
4:41 am. The IVFs are still nice people at this point of the show. It is after the show that they turn into self-righteous weirdos trumpeting about how they are better than everyone else because they are so, so good people, therefore I will try to remember that they are still edited to be nice people in this show and not the hypocritical dweebs that they actually are in real life. You know, when I still like them and are so happy that they win, before they have this fondness for the taste of their heels in their mouths. As the IVFs leave, they once more go on about how the Race has brought them closer together, blah blah blah. They get on a cab to the airport.
The GOPs arrive at the airport and learn of the 12:40 pm flight. The IVFs show up shortly after and learn of the same. GI Joe complains to Barbie Jane that they shouldn't have taken a cab, blah blah blah, because it is easy to portray himself as right when he has hindsight to back him up. Barbie Jane asks him to drop it, but of course he won't, just like how he won't drop anything when he perceives that Barbie Jane is a failure in any matter. Like showing emotions, for one, or wanting to be treated with respect. Soldiers don't do that kind of thing, you know? They are tough and heartless! GI Joe should be auditioning for an action movie instead of subjecting me to him and his soon-to-be ex on this show. Barbie Janes says that they need to talk about this Race. What's there to talk about? I'd just dump him on his ass and be done with the talking. Does she still think that there is anything to salvage from this relationship? Instead, they talk when they really shouldn't have, because GI Joe makes this incredibly ridiculous speech about how he has been an ex-POW and now he doesn't want to take orders from Barbie Jane. Wow, what a guy. I love it when a man plays the POW card to avoid committing to a relationship. Barbie Jane is the last to see the obvious signs so she starts sobbing into her tissues about how much she loves him and how sad she is now. GI Joe tells the camera that you can't marry someone just because they are pressuring you to. That's true, but then again, he shouldn't have told her that he was her boyfriend then, should he? "Why do you act like my boyfriend then on this Race?" Barbie Jane sobs and I can't say anything more to that. Why indeed?
That's why I never really buy the whole "Barbie Jane is the bitch" storyline of this Team, by the way. Barbie Jane's crime isn't that she is a bitch or a shrew, although I'm sure some men have a different view when it comes to women that pressure a man into settling down, but because she believes that her boyfriend loves her and will marry her. Maybe one can find her viewpoint a little on the old-fashioned side, but I don't think that there is anything wrong with expecting a man you love to eventually marry you. GI Joe, on the other hand, is a complete jackass to her these last few episodes. Lucky for him, he has his ex-POW title to get people to forgive his transgressions and the editors to portray his nastiness with cotton gloves. Unluckily for Barbie Jane, she happens to be a woman, one of the most reviled species on reality TV shows thanks to the nature of the genre and the attitude of many of its fans, and the editors gleefully rip her apart in the editing while trying to portray GI Joe as the misunderstood good guy. I don't buy any of this nonsense. Maybe GI Joe is a nice guy outside the Race, but on this show, he's been a raging asshole to Barbie Jane who doesn't deserve any of it.
At 12:40 pm, all three Teams take off to Jamaica. Philo comes out to explain the concept of three Teams being on the same flight, in case I blink and miss out on that fact. Beaches, umbrellas, hello Jamaica. It is dark when the three Teams get into cabs to get to the Frenchman's Cove in Port Antonio. At the back, the GOPs point out helpfully that they are trailing behind the other two Teams. The IVFs, at the head of the pack, say that they have been here on vacation before although Uchenna thinks that this time things look "a little different". Yeah, because his wife is bald. In their cab, GI Joe says, "Ah, the smell of a Third World country again!" But I see that some so-called fans of this show are already saying that the Robfather makes this statement, so hey, what can I say? Other than "Idiots!", that is?
The IVFs are the first to reach the Frenchman's Cove where they learn that it is time for a Roadblock. Oh no, it's a limbo Roadblock! Philo explains that this Roadblock is quite simple, really: the lower the Racer can go under the limbo bar, the earlier they can leave in the morning. The earliest departure time is 8:15 am, the next at 8:30 am, and the latest is at 9:15 am. Joyce takes this Roadblock and successfully goes under the first bar. The Robcouple show up next and Ambore takes this task because, as she tells the camera, the Robfather has already done the maximum six Roadblocks for his Team. The GOPs show up and Barbie Jane takes the Roadblock. After some fancy limboing, Joyce ends up getting the IVFs the 8:30 am departure time while Barbie Jane and Ambore score the 8:15 am time for their Teams. The Robfather gives a pleased cheer when Ambore completes the limbo first. They realize from their clue that they can leave at 8:15 am and head over to Grants Level, some eleven miles away, for their next clue. The Robfather says that he wouldn't be able to perform the limbo and makes as if he'll try to do one as demonstration. He doesn't actually go ahead, which is a relief because if he does, some people will accuse the show of trying to deliberately portray the Robfather in a negative manner to hide the fact that the show is rigged in their favor. Uchenna whines that his Team is last again. Barbie Janes believes that just because the GOPs are always stuck with the Robcouple, the Robcouple must surely come to view them as a real threat and therefore be scared of them. I'm such the scare will ebb to a more tolerable level once the Robcouple purchase some earplugs. Ambore believes that things are looking up for the Robcouple because the IVFs are always trailing while the GOPs are clearly self-destructing. The three Teams mull over their competition as they spend the night around a campfire, just like how things were in the first episode.
At 8:15 am, the GOPs and the Robcouple depart for Grants Level in cabs. In their cab, the Robfather tells Ambore that they have a 33 percent chance of winning a million dollars, which is, he says in his characteristic way with understatements, more than what most people make in a lifetime. Is this where I should remind him that Ambore and he have no doubt milked more than that from their shows and their paid appearances on various events and TV shows subsequently? Still, it's nice, I suppose, that he tries to pretend that he is as poor as the rest of the world outside Los Angeles. The GOPs also get a cab but they don't have much to say to the camera. At 8:30 am, the IVFs leave. For those who are slow in numbers, the IVFs helpfully tell the camera that they are leaving some fifteen minutes behind the other two Teams.
At Grants Level, the GOPs and the Robcouple face a Detour of, as Philo puts it, "river activities". In "Build It", Philo explains that Teams must put together a raft from the materials provided, cross the river on it, and proceed up a hill to get their next clue. In "Raft It", Teams instead take a ready-made raft to travel eight miles down the river to get their next clue. Both the Robfather and GI Joe tell their Team partners that traveling eight miles down a river will take too much time, so they are taking the "Buld It" Detour. GI Joe says that he has never built a raft before, which I'm sure will get him booted from the GOP Superhero Hall of Fame, while Barbie Jane just sneers and refuses to say or do anything. As both Teams - okay, the Robcouple and GI Joe - start working on their raft, the IVFs show up and choose to "Build It" too. The raft components come with pre-drilled logs and all, so it's more like a case of assembling the raft according to which slot fitting into which other slot. Uchenna puts on his gloves. Meanwhile, both men working at the rafts suffer from cuts in their hands. GI Joe belatedly puts on gloves while the Robfather insists on going gung-ho and keep working with his bleeding hands. Ambore looks at him in bemusedment. She is probably used to her husband-to-be's macho nonsense.
Ambore says that the Robcouple have built rafts on Survivor before (well, yes, and that raft lost to Ego Ego's, so I'm not sure if I'd boast about that) and the Robfather was in the construction business, so things are looking good for them. GI Joe once more says, this time sarcastically, that he has never built a raft before. He should have joined a construction business then. It seems to be more handy than the Army when it comes to having a successful reality TV career and getting girlfriends. Barbie Jane complains that the IVFs are getting ahead of the GOPs in the raft-building and he suggests that maybe they can solve that problem if she helps him at assembling the raft instead of just standing there and scowling at him. She doesn't think that the idea will work any better than her scolding GI Joe so they are at a standstill.
The Robfather is the middle of telling Ambore rather sharply to hold some parts of the raft for him to put together when he catches himself and tells her that he doesn't mean to sound so sharp but he really wants them to finish building the raft and he hopes that she can understand that. Whether he is saying this because of the camera or because he really is sweet that way, I don't know, but this is a rather nice scene nonetheless. Ambore gives him a "Okay, I'll humor you" indulgent look and says that she will make him happy now and he can pay her back by making her happy after the Race. Awww. Even if they go bust by the end of the year, I don't think a lack of love will one of the reasons leading to the bust-up.
Barbie Jane half-heartedly helps and then complains that her hand is bleeding. GI Joe tells her to shut it, with predictable results. The IVFs quietly and surely make good progress, with Uchenna saying that Gilligan would be proud of them. Ambore notes that the IVFs have caught with them. As for the GOPs, she notes charitably that those two are making their raft "in a different order". Barbie Jane whines that the GOPs are really falling behind and GI Joe snaps back that he has never built a raft before so he's open to suggestions. He then mocks her cuttingly for being too preoccupied with what other people are doing. These two are like a more toxic version of the Goth-Nots from the previous season. The Robcouple finish their raft but the supervisor finds that they have attached something (I'm bad at names of parts of a raft, sorry) to the wrong place. The IVFs finish their raft and theirs is in working order so they are allowed to cross the river. The Robcouple quickly fix their raft and they end up pushing their raft into the river at the same time as the IVFs. Barbie Jane tells the GI Joe that the other Teams have finished at the task and he answers by telling her to be quiet. Finally, their raft is done but alas, for some reason they can't get it to move because something is fit to something else in a wrong way. Oh dear.
The Robcouple actually beat the IVFs in crossing the river (no surprise there) and as he and Ambore climb up a steep hill, the Robfather manages to get the clue first and runs back down. The IVFs get their clue shortly after and both Teams now dash back to their raft. Ambore slips and falls onto her backside, which causes the Robfather to stop and help her get up onto her feet while asking her whether she is alright. She is. Both Teams get on their rafts and cross the river. Meanwhile, the GOPs are still trying to cobble together a functional raft. Barbie Jane helps but she makes a mess of things so GI Joe snaps impatiently at her to stop. She is annoyed that he doesn't seem to know whether to ask her to help or not and tells him so in the most shrewish voice she can put on. Ahead, the Robcouple are making good progress until the Robfather loses one of his sneakers and has to jump into the river to retrieve it. The IVFs nearly collide into him until Uchenna's warning sends him hopping out of the way. The Robfather runs with a sneaker in one hand as he and Ambore run up the beach. I suppose that the clue has instructions as to when they can read the clue out loud to the TV because only now do the Robcouple stop to read it aloud. They must now travel to Montego Bay some eighty miles away. A villa at the posh Round Hill district of Montego Bay is the Pit Stop for this leg of the Race. The last Team to check in, Philo says, may be eliminated. Yes, because they will allow only two Teams to run in the final leg... not! Pffft. The Robcouple and the IVFs take off in search of cabs.
Finally, the GOPs manage to come up with a functional raft. They cross the river and make the unhappiest trip up the hill since Jack and Jill. Ahead of them, the IVFs get into a cab first and ask the driver not to let the Robcouple, who get a cab shortly after, overtake them. The driver says okay in the non-committant manner every cab driver uses on potentially troublesome customers. The Robfather asks the driver to just follow the cab ahead. The GOPs finally get a cab once they have retrieved their clue and made their way back to the beach. After some suspense from all cabs having to stop for gas, the IVFs pull ahead only to be stuck in traffic. The Robcouple then take the lead only to be stopped by the police. The Robfather is calm, although his mind is probably working on ways to schmooze the cop - make your own joke about him being in this kind of situation often - while the GOPs and the IVFs wheeze by. In their cab, Joyce giggles at the Robcouple's plight. I giggle with her at that time, but if I have read her sanctimonious "We won because we are good people who never did anything sinful on the Race" yammerings in the post-Race media at that time, I'd probably roll up my eyes and wonder at the amazing delusional hypocrasy some self-appointed good people tend to have. The Robcouple are soon on their way again, with the Robfather explaining that the police stopped them for a routine check. What, they don't want an autograph from the Robfather? How disappointing, after all that delusional insistence from certain quarters that the Robcouple's fame is all they have going for them on the Race!
Back to the race to Montego Bay, the GOPs are behind the IVFs. They note that the back left tire of the cab of the IVFs look like it will go flat any moment. Barbie Jane hopes that the tire will "pop". Somehow the Robcouple manage to catch up with those two. The cab driver must be really fast. The Robfather also notices the IVFs' tire and hopes that the cab will go over a pothole and the tire will "pop". The best part about this scene is how he actually comes off as less petty than Joyce's noxious giggling when she saw the Robcouple's cab being stopped by the police.
Pop! There goes the tire, by the way. Poor Joyce isn't giggling now. The IVFs can't believe that their cab has a flat tire. The GOPs whizz past the IVFs, with GI Joe expressing dismay at the IVFs' plight because he'd rather see the Robcouple come in last than the IVFs. The Robfather says that the IVFs' flat tire is his and Ambore's "lucky break", which is, of course, so much worse than giggling snottily at the IVFs. I'm not trying to slander the IVFs here, mind you, I'm just pointing out that the IVFs aren't perfect people like they claim to be while the Robcouple aren't the monsters they are demonized to be by irrational people in the media with no sense of perspective.
The GOPs' cab driver decides to take one of the two possible routes to Round Hill, the "top road" as the driver puts it. The Robcouple's cab driver therefore takes the, er, "bottom road" because those two Teams end up separated. The IVFs finally manage to get going again. The GOPs get out of their cab shortly after and the driver tells them to head right for Round Hill. The Robcouple on the other hand have to stop to ask for directions. The IVFs look worried. Finally, the GOPs and the Robcouple show up at the Round Hill Hotel and learn that this villa in question is Cottage #16 of the Hotel.
Philo is waiting with the VIP and once more he does that silly "Look at the spot in the sky and pretend that someone is coming thing" gesture of his. Who will be the first Team to arrive. Well, here are the GOPs! These two briefly hug and high-five each other. It won't last. The Robcouple show up shortly after and while they don't look too happy to come in second, the Robfather says consolingly to himself that they have run a good Race. Philo asks those two Teams which among them will win. They both say they will and launch into that confidence, determination, whatever script these people are so fond of. And finally, the IVFs show up in last place. Duh, of course they aren't eliminated but they have to surrender all their possessions other than passports and the clothes on their back to Philo. Uchenna launches into some nonsense about how the Race hasn't taken away their hearts and their minds. When will these people learn that the Race is just a Race and not some "Noooo, you can't break my body and steal my mind!" nonsense? Joyce insists that they are going to win. That is a little more intelligent than Uchenna's remark, so I'll let that slide.
Sound the trumpets, one more hour and this season will be done for good. Philo steps out to remind people that he and the Teams are at Montego Bay, Jamaica, which he explains is some "plantation". And without much ado, the Teams are off.
2:37 am. The GOPs leave. They are told to take a cab to Lucea, some 25 miles away, to pick up a bag of fifty onions. They must take this bag, according to Philo, to a restaurant where they will have to chop up these onions in order to receive their next clue. As the GOPs leave, Barbie Jane says that she loves GI Joe, which is why it breaks her heart to know that this relationship of theirs is going down in flames. That's funny because if I am to judge from her actions in the last few legs of the Race, she doesn't like GI Joe that much. Anyway, she consoles herself by saying that God will take care of her. While she's at it, I'll wish her luck in finding a deeper relationship with someone who will appreciate her for who she is, as opposed to loving a man just because of his image as an ex-POW. Or maybe she can go onto Survivor and find a boyfriend. Why not? Ambore, Jabba, and now J Lyo all seem to find their cutie-pies on the show. At least it will be better than having a relationship go up in smokes on a TV show.
2:38 am. The Robcouple read their clue and count the money they and the GOPs all receive at this leg of the Race ($445). As they leave, they give a nice confessional filled with love, sunshine, and happiness - ugh - only to ruin everything by having the Robfather say that it is "not possible" for other Teams to beat them to the finish line. He obviously isn't familiar with American Airlines' flexible ways with departure. They catch up with the GOPs just as those two are about to get into a cab. The Robfather asks the GOPs whether they can all share a cab. The GOPs say no. The Robfather asks the cab driver to call the Robcouple another cab. In the cab, however, Barbie Jane, who has slammed the Robcouple for being nasty and untrustworthy several times in the past, asks the driver not to make that call. I hope her self-proclaimed superior moral will not be dented by that shady act.
2:48 am. The IVFs leave. They plan to go to the airport and beg for money, but they learn from their hotel reception desk that the airport and Lucea are in opposite directions from each other. As the IVFs wander on the streets, the Robcouple spot them and realize that they need to get moving as soon as possible. They manage to stop a cab shortly after and make their way to Lucea. The IVFs ask an ambulance whether they can get a lift to the airport. The ambulance, for some funny reason, would rather reserve its services for really sick people and emergency cases instead of catering to reality TV contestants. Go figure. Some people are heartless.
At Lucea, the GOPs have to ask for directions because they can't locate the store where the onions are waiting for them. The Robcouple are more fortunate because they manage to locate the store without much difficulty. Ambore points out that they should choose a lighter bag, which is smart because all they need to take are a bag of fifty onions, not a bag of fifty large onions. The Robfather picks up a few bags and chooses one he thinks is the lightest. Those two then quickly leave for the restaurant. Meanwhile, a cop directs the GOPs to the store. As the GOPs make their way to the store, GI Joe says that finding the store is like "finding a needle in a haystack of needles". That depends, I suppose, on whether he needs to find a specific needle, in which case that will be hard, or whether he just needs any needle, in which case that means he is just being silly.
The IVFs manage to find someone to drive them to the airport and they make a fuss about how this is their "first blessing" and now that kind fellow who gives them a lift is a good, good person. Even before I am annoyed by their constant yammering about their goodness in interviews and TV appearances, the IVFs are already unnerving me with their increasingly zealous trumpeting of God and blessings. Is it just me or there is this hard insane gleam in Uchenna's eyes as he talks about how good people always help good people like the IVFs? I don't know, it is as if the IVFs really believe that they are some members of the Higher Good. Of course, they confirm my suspicions when they open their mouths in post-show appearances so there's that.
The GOPs grab a bag of onions, although I don't know whether they choose the lighter bag among the many bags in the store. Ahead, at the restaurant, the Robcouple are getting a crash course from a chef on the finer points of onion-dicing. They must chop up all 50 onions and drop them into a pot before they can get their next clue. The Robcouple begin to work on the onions. They are about ten onions in, according to the Robfather, when the GOPs show up. "So now, the Great Onion Chopping Contest will start!" the Robfather says to the camera. Heh. Barbie Jane says that she is not good at cutting things. I'd say she is doing fine at cutting words though. Meanwhile, the Robfather says that his mother used to make him chop onions in the basement. He always has some stories about everything he does on this Race, hasn't he? He's like GI Joe, only his stories have more variety to them while GI Joe's constant and sole focus in his stories is Iraq.
Elsewhere, at the airport, Uchenna is trying to do some flips and somersaults in exchange for money but nobody seems to be willing to give the IVFs money. Joyce bursts into tears and Uchenna has to comfort her, which is simultaneously embarrassing as well as silly because he is wasting time trying to get her to steady herself when they should be trying to get money. I wonder why they don't ask anything from the GOPs or the Robcouple. Okay, maybe the Robcouple won't give them anything but I'm sure the GOPs won't be so hard-hearted... oh wait, the IVFs are part of the silly Us Against Them movement that ocstracized the Robcouple and the GOPs, right? Serves them right for being so petty and silly on the Race, then! While the other two Teams are chopping away and trying not to shed too much tears in the process, Joyce is still wailing away and shedding plenty of tears. Some women give them enough money to start and the IVFs take a cab to Lucea at a discounted rate.
The Robcouple complete the onion-chopping task first and leave. Their clue tells them to head over to the Rose Hall resort sixty miles from where they are. After the Robcouple have left, GI Joe tells Barbie Jane that the Robfather has some sort of "fear in his eyes". Huh? Maybe the Robfather is just afraid that GI Joe will start calling him after the show and asking him out for drinks because GI Joe wants them to be the best of friends or something. GI Joe then calls the Robfather an "idiot" and says that he is not afraid of the Robcouple. Keep saying that, buddy, and keep chopping the onions. They are finally done and they leave.
The IVFs look for the onions and vow to keep going, yadda yadda yadda. After some minor drama involving being stuck behind a truck on the road, the Robcouple's cab finally drop them off at Rose Hall. The GOPs are just seconds behind them and both Teams learn that it's now time for a Detour. Philo steps out to explain that in "Pony Up" Teams must ride a horse into the water and then hang on to its tail as it leads the Team around some buoys. I... sheesh, who would want to do that thing? In "Tee It Up", Teams must dress up in some golfing gear unique to this show and then clobber golf balls until they hit the green. Because both Teams are sane, they choose to play golf. They all head over to the resort changing room to change. Hmm, the Robfather changing. I'm so onto that silly maid's trick, by the way, because she's obviously walking back and forth in and out of the room trying to get a look at the Robfather.
The IVFs get their onions and head over to the restaurant. Meanwhile, the funny golf tournament kicks off at Rose Hall. The Robfather isn't the best man at golf, as people who have watched his "performance" at All-Stars Survivor may remember, so it's not surprising that his swing misses completely. He, Ambore, GI Joe, and Barbie Jane all screw up their swings, causing a litany of "Dang!" and "That sucks!" to follow. Ambore is amused. Then again, she's always amused. The others, not so much.
Now the IVFs enter the restaurant. Whatever, the show now zooms over back to the golfing. Ambore happily chirps, "Those are really good balls!" Snicker, snicker. She adds that her father would be impressed by those balls. Guffaw, guffaw. Yes, I'm twelve years old. Lots of missed shots fly here and there, until finally the Robfather hits the green and the Robcouple are free to leave. Their clue tells them to fly to San Juan, Puerto Rico, where they will take a designated vehicle in the airport car park to go to the fortress at Castillo San Felipe Del Morro for their next clue. Before they can look for a cab, they have to get out of their golf gear, so I have to suffer through another scene of a shirtless Robfather. The pain I have to endure for this show sometimes, ugh. As soon as they hop into a cab, the Robfather asks the driver to hurry because he knows of a 9:15 am flight out of Jamaica. Maybe the flight is stated on the clue? Hmmm.
The IVFs chop onions and as usual, they are talking about how they have this desire to win propelling them onwards and such. What haven't I noticed this creepy cult-like vibes from them before? They also complain about being hungry and tired, wah wah wah. It is worth noting that so far on this leg of the Race they have done nothing but to trail behind, whine, beg, and complain. Meanwhile, Barbie Jane scores a successful swing for the GOPs and they finally get to leave. Ooh, I have to suffer through the sight of GI Joe changing. How can I bear the agony? In their cab, GI Joe complains to the camera that he "just couldn't hit crap" so he thinks that he deserves "a pick-ax right through the scalp". Barbie Jane, seated beside him, smiles happily, no doubt imagining that gory image in her mind and finding it much to her liking.
And now, as we get closer to the controversial American Airlines plane saga, the Robcouple reach the airport where they learn that they are too late in making the 9:15 am flight. They plead and beg, with the Robfather even attempting a fib about his mother before stopping midway (why?), but it is no use. Both the folks at the ticket counter and the ticket office refuse to let them board the plane for "security reasons". Understandably upset, they however perk up considerably when they learn that the even earlier 8:03 am American Airlines flight has been delayed to 9:54 am. They hug, high-five, and he even kisses her on the forehead. All that's missing is he lifting her in his arms off her feet and swinging her around the place. As the Robcouple collect their boarding passes, the GOPs show up at the airport. They too learn of the delayed 8:03 am flight. While the ticket guy smugly tells them that they won't make that flight, the GOPs make a run for it regardless. It turns out that the ticket guy is right. The Robcouple make it on that flight in what seems like the last second and the plane takes off. The GOPs have to settle for a 12:42 pm flight.
The IVFs finish chopping up their onions and manage to beg a cab to take them to Rose Hall. Joyce in the cab says that they are not giving up, blah blah blah. The Robcouple lands in San Juan and hop into their designated vehicle at the airport. Ambore, after looking at the map in her hands, thinks she knows where they should go. I hope so. Back at Kingston, the IVFs reach Round Hill and decide to play golf. Uchenna says that he has been practising his golf swings at home. It's nice that he was occupying his time so nicely back home when he was unemployed after being laid off from work. Over at San Juan, the Robcouple reach the Fort and their clue tells them to now drive 87 miles to a sugar refinery mill at Aguadilla. The Robfather comments as they leave that they may just have a good day when it comes to directions in this leg. Ouch. Back at the airport in Kingston, the GOPs' flight takes off. The IVFs finally finish at their golf game and leave, once more saying in their cab that they won't give up, the usual. Over at Puerto Rico, the Robcouple are stuck in a massive jam. Ambore wonders why the Robfather is complaining that "every single person on the whole island of Puerto Rico is in this traffic jam" because he came from Boston, where traffic is, I suppose, worse. At the airport, the IVFs once more stiff another cabby and then get a 4:58 pm flight to San Juan. And then they start begging for money. I don't know whether Joyce starts crying again though. Over at Aguadilla, the Robcouple locate the sugar refinery mill, only to learn that it is closed at 4:00 pm and will only be opened at 7:30 am the next morning. That's nice. That's so freaking fracking screw-you-Race-designers nice.
The Robcouple head off to a hotel to kill time. The GOPs finally show up at the mill and decide to sleep off in their vehicle. The IVFs finally show up and, after yet another speech about not giving up, realize that they are saved by the bunch and once more talk about not giving up because they are back in the game, wap bee doo. Isn't it great when the show introduces this ultra-annoying artificial bunch? I know that this show has been waiting to spring this on me because the previous legs of this season are blessedly fine in just how few artificial bunchings they have.
Morning comes quickly and at 7:30 am, those three Teams run into the mill. They learn that it's time for a Roadblock. Philo explains that the Team member must jump off a 30-ft bridge into a river, swim for ninety yards, and hop onto a boat to collect their next clue. Ambore has to do this Roadblock, of course, but she and the Robfather take the wrong turn and get lost, while the other two Teams (GI Joe and Uchenna stepping up to the task) take the correct turn and get to the Roadblock bridge without much trouble. As the Robcouple struggle to find their bearings (so much with the luck in directions, eh?), GI Joe jumps. Uchenna jumps. They head for the boat as the Robcouple finally spot the bridge but can't easily see a way to get there. The Robfather thinks that this getting lost on their part would cost them a million dollars. Eventually, they make their way to the bridge, where he asks her for a good luck kiss and tells her to do her best.
The GOPs receive their clue once GI Joe gets off the boat onto the beach and learn that they can now head back to Miami, a thousand mile journey. The airport, Philo says, is ninety miles from here. At Miami, Teams must travel about nine miles in a cab to the Rickenbacker Causeway. The IVFs also get their clue shortly after the GOPs quickly leave the beach. Meanwhile, Ambore jumps from the bridge ("Oooooh!"), swims, gets on the boat, and gets off at the beach. After they've read the clue, however, Ambore says weakly that she can't run anymore. The Robfather tries to tell her to think of the million dollars but she clearly has no more energy. He tells her to hop onto his back and she does. Unlike, say, Colin dragging Christie up the icy slopes of the Lookout Mountain in Calgary back in the fifth season, I don't think the Robfather carrying Ambore on his back is of the same "man carrying baggage" allegory though because Ambore has been shown to play her part in Roadblocks and some decision-making in this show. I think this is why I like this Team when I can't like the equally if not more skilful C+Cs: Christie seems to be just there for the ride while Colin takes himself too seriously and both of them take it out on each other when things are tough. The fact that the Robfather tells Ambore that she did a great job when Colin would have screamed at Christie for being so slow is proof of that. In their vehicle, Ambore says that they are not that far behind the other two Teams, surely, and sure enough, the Robfather catches up with the other Teams on the road. When the Teams stop at the toll lane, the Robcouple actually beat the other two Teams. Of course, the fact that the GOPs choose to take the lane with the longest line of vehicles and who knows what the IVFs are doing (begging and crying to be allowed to pass without paying toll, perhaps?) may have plenty to do with the Robcouple taking the lead. The GOPs bicker when they realize that they have lost the lead to the Robcouple, but I don't think anyone is surprised by that at this point in the show.
The Robcouple arrive at the junction where they learn from the signboard that they have to turn right to the airport. They do so accordingly. The GOPs show up at the junction, where Barbie Jane for some reason says aloud, "Airport... to the left!" GI Joe makes a left turn, causing Barbie Jane to shriek that he should have turned right. He says that he was turned left like she told him to and she responds by saying that she was just reading the signs aloud and he should have looked at those signs himself. Huh? "Don't jump on me because I don't understand what you're saying, because you said the wrong thing," GI Joe tells her. They spend a while telling each other to shut up and it's a really fun scene, really, if I have a taste for playground arguments.
At the airport, the Robcouple learn that the next flight to Miami leaves at 11:15 am. There is a 10:00 am American Airlines flight but it is already closed for boarding. The Robcouple beg but are told firmly that they cannot get on that 10:00 am flight. They agree to take the 11:15 am flight and bump into the IVFs who are standing right behind them. They ask the IVFs where the GOPs are and the IVFs state simply that the GOPs must have "made a wrong turn". Indeed, the GOPs are still arguing and the level of hostility is on the rise. How nice.
The Robcouple scout around for alternatives and manage to locate another agent that actually agrees to put them on the standby list for that 10:00 am flight. The Robcouple dash for the flight. And lo, they actually make that flight and a happy Robfather smirks smugly as the door of the plane closes. The IVFs realize what the Robcouple have done and run to beg and wail for a chance to get on that plane as well. Meanwhile, the Robcouple put their bags in the overhead, fully intending to abandon them and run empty-handed for the rest of the leg. The IVFs run to the departure gates to continue their epic wailing and begging but the jetway dramatically pulls away from the plane as they do so. And then... wait. Then these people are calling the pilot to ask him whether he can turn back for the IVFs. And he does.
Now, I don't care if so-and-so claim on an online forum that they have experienced planes turning around once the jetway has been removed. What I do know is that there is virtually zero chance of that happening unless in cases of dire emergency or, maybe, when some President or King or whatever is demanding the plane to be turned back. Maybe this is a manipulation by the show to favor two Teams racing to the finish instead of just one Team happily making its way to the finish line hours ahead of the next Team. Maybe the whole airport staff are Lex Loser fans. I don't know. But I do know that this stroke of good luck on the IVFs' part is highly unlikely and, fairly or unfairly, will cast a shadow of suspicion over their victory.
The IVFs praise Jesus and call their luck "a blessing" again and again, which I find obnoxious in the repetition because it would be nicer if they are actually doing something to get that so-called blessing instead of just standing there weeping and begging and then happily receive "blessings" because they feel that they are entitled to it, what with their bad luck and all. Give me a break, really. The IVFs get on that flight and the Robfather looks like he wants to kill somebody. I know that feeling.
The GOPs reach the airport at last and have to settle for the 11:15 am flight. Which, as they learn later, is delayed to 11:40 am. Good luck, those two. Try not to squabble too much and annoy the folks at the airport!
Ooh, beaches, sun, girls in bikini - where else could we be other than in... no, not Hawaii, but close enough. Miami, of course! The Robcouple are the first to leave the airport. That's the painful rub of this episode, isn't that? The fact the Robcouple are always fighting and leading, pushing ahead again and again, only to be foiled by what seems like random luck piled upon producer manipulation? The IVFs leave. Uchenna hopes that the GOPs aren't joining in the fray anytime soon. Ah yes, the story of the IVFs. They are always hoping to win until they do, thanks to random luck piled upon producer manipulation.
Finally, the GOPs' flight takes off.
The Robcouple pulls up at the clue stand at Rickenbacker Causeway and learn that they need to locate "the King of the Havanas" in Little Havana. Philo says that the King in question is actually the name of a cigar shop, but the trick here is that the name of the cigar shop is actually the Spanish translation of "the King of the Havanas". I like the fact that the Race actually attempts to introduce some real clues, even if it's at this late stage of the Race, but still, come on, is there any real chance at Teams figuring out what the King of Havanas is other than to hope that they find someone who can tell them the answer? This is not like asking the Teams to fly to a country identified only by its flag like they did in the second season. This is a clue that means, pretty much, "Ask and hope you'll be lucky." Hmmph!
The clue specifies the road on which the King is located, as it turns out, because the Robcouple and the cab driver study the clue and the cab driver points out that he knows where the road mentioned in the clue, Calle Ocho, is located. Okay, so they mention the street in the clue. That's not so bad, I suppose, but it's still one of those clues that don't mean anything unless you ask the correct person and know Spanish enough to spot the sign of the cigar shop and realize that, hey, it means the King of the Havanas. It's not as if there is any chance at deducing the answer of this clue using general knowledge in this instance, I'm just saying. Meanwhile, the IVFs are babbling about being positive and never giving up - again, arrgh - in their cab. Ahead, the Robcouple are dropped off at Calle Ocho where they begin asking people about this King of the Havanas. Common sense may tell them to ask people about this in Spanish, I suppose, but common sense does not allow you to speak Spanish if you are not fluent in it, so I'll let that slide.
The IVFs stop at the clue stand, read the clue, and when their cab driver hesitates to take them again because the IVFs have no money, they promise to pay him anyway. Yes, they promise to pay the man with money they don't have. Compound this with them making a big case about paying the man out of the goodwill of their hearts (just like how I'm a good person to pay for the food I ate in a restaurant) or being forced to pay the man before they can check in (depending on which post-Race interview the IVFs give that we are using as a point of reference because those two can't keep their stories straight) and how Uchenna mocks the cab driver when the cab driver goes public after the Race about how those pay him $15 less than the agreed-upon fare (dude, you have just won a freaking million dollars based on nothing you do on your own - pay that man the $15 and a big tip while you're at it, dude!), and their action speaks for themselves: this isn't the IVFs winning because of their skills and they certainly don't win because they are good people. Why? Because their actions on the show aren't one hundred percent saintly, I'm just saying.
The Robcouple start wandering around asking for the King of the Havanas, and some good-hearted person - or Lex Loser fan, depending on how high your paranoia is regarding this show - directs them to the 27th and 8th Street. The IVFs' cab driver on the other hand asks someone about this King of Havanas in Spanish and learn that it is a cigar shop located on the 11th. Yes, at this point, the IVFs still have not lifted a hand to deserve their win. The Robcouple are getting increasingly lost and the Robfather even asks God to help them out a little. That's how desperate he is, I suppose, because I don't think he's the kind of man to evoke God too often on reality game shows. The IVFs pull up at the cigar shop and the hilarious thing is, they don't think that they are at the right place and look at the cab driver suspiciously until he explains to them that the shop's name is Spanish for the King of the Havanas. Yes, such capable Racers they are, these two. They head inside and receive a clue that tells them to head straight to the Pit Stop at Fort Lauderdale. There they go.
The Robcouple are so lost that it's embarrassing and painful at the same time to watch, especially when they realize that their cab is missing when they return to where they last left it. The Robfather lights up when he spots a sign outside a shop that has a crown, only to realize that it's actually a Tire King shop. Eventually they locate their cab and hop back in. Meanwhile, Uchenna realizes that the meter in their cab have exceeded the amount of money that they have - or is it don't have? - but tells the cab driver to drive ahead because they will figure out a way to pay him when they get there. That's nice. Which explains why, I suppose, that Uchenna admits in public interviews still hasn't paid the driver the $15 at the time of writing, which won't be so annoying if he doesn't, in the same breath, accuses the Robfather of being dishonest and untrustworthy. Meanwhile, the Robfather miserably says that he knows that things had been going "way too smooth" for them and then kisses his St Anthony medallion and prays for help. The IVFs, in the meantime, decide to beg for money on their way to Fort Lauderdale, either because they are so good that way or they can't check in unless they have paid the cab driver (depending, as usual, on whatever version of the tale they happen to prefer on that particular interview). The Robcouple finally locate the cigar shop. As they make their way to Fort Lauderdale, it is clear on their faces, especially Ambore's, that they know that the Race is over for them.
Hey, remember the GOPs? They finally arrive in Miami. I hope they haven't squabbled too much on their flight, because that would be tiring.
Uchenna insists that they will win because they have faith in God. Ugh, why must they turn into sanctimonious freaks at this late stage of the Race? Is he saying that the other Teams in this show who don't win are pagan heathens? Well, it's too bad that God doesn't magically rains money on them when they reach their destination because they can't pay the cab driver. Uchenna tries to give the driver a ring as payment and the cab driver refuses, looking annoyed in the process. I don't blame him. He has done more than fair to bring them all the way here. Of course, the IVFs can't leave the cab driver hanging because the rules state that they must always pay the cab driver, so it's time for them to do what they do best in this episode: begging piteously for money from passers-by.
The Robcouple approach closer to Fort Lauderdale. The GOPs approach closer to Little Havana.
Uchenna tries to ask someone for $50. Predictably, the person balks at this. Uchenna says that they can't run straight to the Pit Stop because they have to pay the driver an amount of money that meets his satisfaction, so this contradicts his interview statements where he brags about paying the driver because he's altruistic that way.
The Robcouple think that they are getting close to Fort Lauderdale.
Uchenna failed earlier to get $50 from passers-by, so now he asks for $25. The person he targets not just balks at this, he lectures them for begging instead of doing something more honest to earn the money. Heh. As the Robcouple approach closer and closer (or so the editors would like me to believe), Uchenna manages to get $10 from some sucker. Joyce, who spends all her post-race interviews trumpeting her moral superiority over liars like the Robfather, tells people that she is collecting money for a charity drive. When a kindly lady donates some money to her and asks her what charity Joyce represents, Joyce stammers, retreats from her, and says from a distance where the lady can't get her that the charity in question is their Racing. I wish she would have explained that the IVFs are racing for a million dollars. Then, I suspect, the kind lady will really do some ass-busting on Joyce the Honest here.
Cut to the Parade of Sourpusses and Whiny Crybabies, also known as the loser Teams that got cut (the Yogi Bears and the Maybellines are excepted from this group, of course), who are waiting with Philo for the winner to reach the finish line. Cut to Patrick who is wishing fervently for the IVFs to win. I'm to root for the IVFs with this whiny crybaby loser who treats his mother like crap because the Robcouple are evil, I suppose. And woo-hoo, look who run up to the mat but the IVFs! Everyone claps because they are so happy that the Robcouple aren't first and they proceed to mob the IVFs with cringe-inducing sentiments, like the Fat Fatales calling the IVFs "such good people" and Debbie saying that "everyone" has been praying for the IVFs to win. So, so obnoxious, this constant prattling about how the IVFs are like good messiahs out to destroy the forces of evil represented by the Robcouple. Joyce crows that she hears everyone's prayers to them in her head. Oh, so she now hears voices in her head? That's nice. Uchenna talks about how they will try one more time in-vitro fertilization, blah blah blah.
The Robcouple finally show up and those Parade of Sourpusses clap half-heartedly. Why not? The Robcouple are evil, after all. Never mind that the IVFs are in it with the Robcouple and the RADs to bribe the bus driver not to open the back door back in Cuzco. Or that Teams like the IVFs, Mom and Moan, and the RADs are more than happy to piggyback the dishonest Robcouple and benefitted from that in the past. I suppose that these people are either really sore losers or they somewhat correctly assume that the Robcouple are so ridiculously reviled by some quarters in the media and the fandom that they will be able to worm themselves into the fandom easier by claiming to represent the forces of good or something like that. The Robcouple actually compliment the IVFs on winning when they definitely don't completely feel that way if their post-Race interviews, filled with thinly-veiled jabs at the IVFs' "miracle" at the Norman Manley International Airport in Kingston, are anything to go by. The Robfather says that while the Robcouple finish second, he won't change anything because he has Ambore so he's number one in his own book. Yes, that sounds so sincere, snort. I suspect that one of these days I'd see the Robfather on Celebrity Square because that man wants to win just once so, so badly. I don't blame him as he always comes this close to winning each time only to see the opportunity slip away from him, but I can snort at his insincere words.
And finally, the GOPs show up. They pretty much announce that they are going seperate ways on that finish mat due to irreconcilable differences but GI Joe says that the Race has been an adventure of a lifetime for him.
The IVFs tell the camera in a confessional how much they love each other, how they have overcome the tough things in their past to get here, blah blah blah. Whatever. And with that, the show is done. Thank goodness, I'd say, because one second longer of the nonsensical and hypocritical Bible-thumping and moralizing that is going out of control in this show will make me throw up.
Here's the deal, I really like the IVFs until this final episode. You can read my previous recaps - the proof is there in writing. I was of this thought that if the Robcouple don't win, the IVFs winning will be just as satisfying for me because they are such nice people. Unfortunately, I wish the IVFs have actually done something to win. In Season Five, at least Chip and Kim worked to get on an earlier flight that wouldn't be delayed by the fog. At least Zach the Mumbler worked to drag Flodungka to the finish line in Season Three. And there are no question that the Lawyer Dudes, the Boston Bulldogs, and the DADTs all worked to deserve their wins in their respective seasons. But what did the IVFs do? They begged, they whined, they stiffed cab drivers, and they pretty much got lucky with a cab driver. They were aided by a contrived bunch and a too-lucky-indeed flight opportunity in Jamaica. The too-lucky flight can't be compared to the Robcouple making the flight in Argentina because the flight in Argentine was still grounded when the Robcouple showed up while the jetway was already pulled away from the Jamaican flight before the plane turned back.
Therefore, even if I ignore the ridiculous Robfather witch-hunt that took place in the entire season (memo to self: avoid online forums during the next season), the IVFs' win still happened under suspicious circumstances that are made worse by the fact that they pretty much stumbled upon victory thanks to a cab driver that Uchenna later ridiculed in post-show interviews. I suspect that even they know how lucky they are and it must rightfully hurt that people keep assuming that they won because the show was rigged for them to win in the final leg. Unfortunately, this only causes the IVFs to become more self-righteous and patronizing, insisting that they won because of "karma" or "God favoring good people". Ironically, this is the only defense they have when it comes to justifying why they happened to win this season, which therefore makes their victory a Pyrrhic one when it comes to bragging rights. The IVFs are really mediocre Racers and it shows especially in this last leg.
I wish the Robfather will stop prodding the IVFs on with his remarks that the flight in Jamaica was rigged in the IVFs' favor. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but the Robcouple are the clear winners in this season along with the show producers because they get the most from this Race, fifteen-minutes-of-fame wise, compared to any other Teams of this season. I wish the IVFs will shut up about how superior they are morally compared to the Robcouple. I wish the Fat Fatales will take a wrong turn on their trip to Canada and will never be heard from again. They can take Gretchen with them while they're at it, by the way.
Yes, this season is great but the way the last two legs boiled down to an unnecessary morality play abetted by the show producers doesn't sit well with me at all. I am okay with the best Teams never winning, as that happens every season without fail except in Season Four. I have some issues with the final leg of the Race being so blatantly manipulated by the show, but I will live. But I really, really wish that Teams and fans alike will remember that this show is about a Race, not some good versus evil drama, and we should and can sit back and enjoy the show instead of feuding with each other because the Teams you hate are evil and therefore their fans are too. The Race has been great but the Teams' attitude and behavior after the Race are off-putting. More discouragingly, the show is showing signs of encouraging fans to root unreasonably for "good" Teams and act rabidly and ridiculously out of proportion when these "good" Teams lose to "evil" Teams. Maybe all this overwrought behavior is carried over from the hysterical overreaction of the FReKs' victory over the one-dimensional Templates of the previous season. Or maybe the majority of the fans of this show have gone insane.
Here's hoping that the family edition of the next season will cool down everyone's overreaction and calm things down. In the meantime, it's been great rooting for the Robcouple who put up one hell of a Race, the IVFs are nice people on the show and I wish them the best of luck in the future, and you're reasonable enough not to think that I am evil incarnate because I rooted for the Robcouple this season, you may want to stick around with me when the next season of the Race rolls in later this year. The family edition sounds interesting and I wonder how they will pull this one off. Oh, and I hate kids. Those eight-year olds on the show will make some ripe lovely meat for me to sink my fangs into!
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