Project Runway 2: Episode 5
Previously, the Fashionistas couldn't seem to come up with halfway decent lingerie. Nor could the people behind this show come up with a better challenge. Four Fashionistas with the best ideas for a lingerie line worked with two fellow Fashionistas and the judges made it clear that they expected the team leader to be held accountable for their designs. So basically Daniel Franco was eliminated for being the worst of the four people with the best ideas. Even better, the producers obviously stepped in to make sure that Santino got to stay despite having a hideous lingerie line and the temerity to call the judges all kinds of things to their faces. The show didn't even bother to hide its blatant contrived aspects and it's going to be downhill all the way from here. Hang on tight, people. It's probably too much to expect subtlety from a Bravo show anyway, I suppose.
It's bad editing showcase as the show begins with a frantically and haphazardly paced montage of the Fashionistas getting ready for the day. Chloe Dao warbles about how honorable Daniel Franco was - especially, of course, when he took the knife that could have fallen on her or Kara, assuming, of course, that the show will ever take Chloe out before the final four - and how she likes him and she wants to cry all over again. She thinks that Santino would be the one leaving, which is naive of her considering how Santino is pegged to be the villain that will last all the way to at least the final four. Nick voices over that the correct person was eliminated, as if I'll ever hear him say anything negative about his flea-infested buddy Santino. He tells Andrať that perhaps Santino's diatribe to the judges in the previous Runway was "hazy" since Santino was being "so defensive". I wish it was hazy so that I didn't have to see Santino the Great's date-rapist face. Santino tells the camera that the judges can put him on the block as many times as they'd like but he will never apologize for what he did. I'm glad that he has all this positive confidence about his ability and all because I will then know that he will still love himself when nobody else will.
The wobbly camera then captures in fast forward the Fashionistas leaving the Apartments. At the Runway at Parsons, Heidi greets them and tells them that the Fashionistas will designing something for a current D-list celebrity willing to be on the show in exchange for some publicity about her vanity business. In reality TV speak, this means that the person in question is "one of America's hottest young socialites". Even though the identity of this person is leaked at least a month before the show, Heidi wants to be coy and keep everyone, including the Fashionistas, in suspense. First, they have to decide what to do with Claudia. Now, Claudia is an effervescent lady who is willing to go some length to accommodate the designer, as Daniel Franco can testify. She's beautiful, she has a lovely smile, and she's miles better than the vapid corpse Cara, for example. But only Dan, the winner of the previous challenge, gets to decide the fate of Claudia. Naturally he chooses to stick with Rebecca. Claudia knows this but she still looks a little teary-eyed as she leaves the Runway. She finally breaks down and cries as she shares a goodbye hug with Danyelle backstage. Goodbye, Claudia. This stupid format of the show has robbed that poor darling.
Back at the Sweatshop, Tim "I Shill For Shillings" Gunn comes in with dossiers of the socialite in question as he tells them that their future career could very well hinge on the socialites out there willingly handing over Daddy's credit card to the Fashionistas. How depressing. Dan gets the honor of opening a dossier that reveals the photo of the socialite in question. It's Nicky Hilton! What, is Paris too busy to be on the show that they have to pull in the less interesting Mini-Me of the fabulously trashy Paris? You can't go wrong with a woman who almost married a man that has the same name as her, after all. Toss Nicky to the curb, I want Paris! Santino tells the camera in a sarcastic manner that Nicky Hilton is "an amazing muse for making beautiful things". Dan reads aloud Nicky's letter to them: "Dear designers, you have quite a challenge in front of you - making me a party dress. To make it fun, tomorrow evening I'm hosting a party for you and your models and I'll be checking out your dresses to determine the winner of this challenge. My standards are high and my taste is exquisite so bring your best work and a good attitude. See you there, Nicky." Dan finishes the reading with a painful, "That's awesome!" I hope he's being sarcastic or else the thought of him genuinely wanting to meet Nicky Hilton's high standards and exquisite tastes depresses me. The Fashionistas look suspiciously excited at the idea of doing so as well. Of course, no matter how excited they are, many of them will create the same dress that they have been creating in the last four episodes. Bah. Back to these losers, Tim tells them that they have until midnight and a yet-to-be-determined time the next today to complete the dresses. Nicky doesn't just have high standards and exquisite tastes, apparently she wants them freaking dresses now. Tim then gives them thirty minutes to sketch and brainstorm before he takes them to Mood where they have $150 to spend. Okay, Nicky wants her high standards and exquisite tastes met at the shortest time possible and at the lowest cost as well. I still say we should've brought in Paris.
As the Fashionistas sketch and brainstorm, Chloe says that the dossier she has received on Nicky Hilton has two photographs, one with Nicky in a "sophisticated" pink dress and another with her in the soon to be infamous Chloe dress (Chloe the famous Parisian designer, not Chloe Dao who loves blue, gives backhanded compliments, and runs an upper middle-class boutique, just to make this clear). Chloe thinks that she will do something low-cut with no back just to make things interesting. From her sketch, it looks like she'll be doing something that looks like the dress she did for Barbie. Marla tells the camera that she has started sketching before they were all told that they would be designing for Nicky Hilton, but the sketches turned out to be dresses that Marla will wear, not Nicky. "I can't say that I make many party dresses these days," she says sadly to the camera. That poor dear. She's so out of her league that it's hard to muster anything but sympathy for her. Kara says that her design will be "fresh" and "very girly", designed with Nicky in mind because Kara believes in making the client happy. Just keep the scissors and her client's pee-pee far, far away.
After thirty minutes are up, Tim walks in to announce the upcoming regular Supermarket Sweep gimme-the-turkeys gimme-the-diapers fill-up-the-cart dash for gold competition at Mood. Ready, get set, go! Nick babbles in Spanish to one of the staff members there. Spanish is a handy language to know when you are dealing with sweatshop workers, after all. Zulema tells the camera that her spanking outfit will be created using black combined with the the creamy-white shade that she seems determined to use in every creation of hers. Emmett studies some fabrics and sheesh, I need help because I find even that beer belly he is sporting pretty adorable to my eyes. Dan wonders how he will fare since the deadline is tight and he is shopping without any clear idea what he wants to do. He notices an attractive fabric of some jelly-pinkish color with silvery circular patterns and decides to latch on to it. Santino tells the camera that he is confident of taking $150 and coming up with something that looks like it's worth $150,000. This is because he has designed for rich girls all his life, he says. Gee, he's either saying that rich girls are stupid for not knowing that he uses cheap material in those expensive dresses he charged their fathers for or he's telling the rich girls that are watching this show and arguing in online forums about how hot Santino is to come to him when their fathers have seized away the credit cards because he can whip up something that looks good for dirt-cheap prices. The "looks good" part of the previous sentence is of course debatable. Finally Tim announces that it's time to leave because he wants to go home and compose his latest love sonnet to Emmett on his website podcast as soon as possible.
Back at the Sweatshop, it's work, work, work as many of the Fashionistas try to find ways to disguise the fact that they are doing the same dress again for the fifth time on this show. Andrať says that his design will help the real Nicky Hilton shines through and people will forget that she's wearing a dress. I have a hunch that Nicky feels the same way whenever she ends up on some magazine's worst-dressed list. Andrať also talks about wanting the dress to be able to withstand being rolled up and tossed into traveling bags, which would come in handy when the wife of the man you're sleeping with unexpectedly shows up and you have to flee, I suppose. By the way, I notice that Nick always casts sidelong glances to the camera whenever he realizes that the camera is on him. But I don't expect anything less from a 38-year old man who uses more hairgel than Ryan Seacrest. Nick explains to the camera that he intends to create something that goes back to the 1930s, something that "screen goddesses" will wear. In short, he's making the dress that he wanted so badly to wear when he was still a kid hiding from the world while watching all those black-and-white movies at home and crying so hard because he wasn't born looking like Judy Garland. Nick also lets it be known that he has worked with celebrities before, although he never delves into specific names. Well, he can now add Nicky Hilton to that list. Zulema, on the other hand, says that she is making something from black leather and cream georgette because she wants to set herself apart from others who are using pink, blue, or black. That's a nice way to put it. And here I am thinking that she's using black and cream because that's all she knows, despite the fact that she vowed to combine "street culture" with "high fashion" and bring in plenty of colors to the show in the first episode. I think Zulema is a fraud in the sense that she doesn't want to embrace any street culture that she pretends is a part of herself to get on the show - she instead wants desperately to be some twiggy pinched-up lily-white Parisian designer. On the other hand, Dan realizes that what he thought was black stretch satin when he bought it turns out to be chocolate brown satin instead. Apparently it is important to use black stretch satin because he's willing to wait and see if Marla and Kara will have any left-over black stretch satin to spare at the end of the day. Meanwhile, he'll work with what he has.
Then, Zulema starts shrieking that someone has stolen her dress mannequin. She warns that it better be returned soon or she'll turn postal. Maybe she'll fill up their entire closets with her shoes and threaten them with a clothes hanger if they dare remove even one pair. Then Marla comes back from a short run outside the Sweatshop and she too squeals that her dress mannequin is missing. She confronts Kara who mumbles that she has taken a "form". Cacophony and chaos break out as Marla tells the camera that tensions among the Fashionistas are certainly on the rise as the competition increases. Meanwhile, some guy drawls, "Where the hell is my chiffon?" I don't know who says that since it's a voice-over but it sounds like Andrať to me. But some people online insist that Dan says this. Since these same people also insist that Dan is hiding some secret wit that the show never presents to the audience, he is bisexual - he has to be - so one day there is a chance that he will take the virginities of these little dreamy girls that are so in love with him, and Dan is the best thing ever since sliced bread, I am not so sure about them being completely unbiased in their reasonings behind their assertions. Marla eventually retrieves her mannequin from Kara and tells the camera that it seems like she has to bolt her things down sometimes. She then talks about how she's now competing with herself to see if she can come up with something creative. I could have said something in response to that but I'll save it for later on. By the way, while all this is happening, the show helpfully informs me that it's about eight hours until midnight.
Guadalupe has written on her sketch pad that her design should be "clean, simple, with additives". She tells the camera that her design has Japanese influences ("Tokyo", "big city", and "high fashion" are some of the things she wrote next to her sketches) and it will be clean, feminine, and fun. She says that she has added some tchotchkes here and there around the bosom region to draw attention to the body of the person wearing the dress. Apparently her design philosophy is that you should be able to add and subtract "elements" from a design according to one's moods and whimsy. Maybe that's her way of saying that she didn't have money to buy superglue so when those shiny gee-gaws fall off, it's intentional on Guadalupe's part. Santino, meanwhile, vows to make the "most beautiful thing" to prove to the judges how wrong they are. The sad thing is, he's just proving me how right I am about his loathsomeness with each word and action of his on this show. Nick however thinks that Santino will be gone if the man keeps behaving the way he did towards the judges. Yeah, yeah, and I'm born yesterday, really convinced that the judges will actually choose someone who's talented instead of already having chosen a winner from the get-go and eliminating the others in a manner to generate as much water-cooler talk and ratings as possible. Santino is going to be in the Final Four, who are they trying to fool?
Tim shows up at the Sweatshop at around three hours before midnight, looking pleased because his latest podcast love letter to Emmett has gone really well. Tim approaches Diana Eng first and wonders at the strips of black fabric that she has stuck to her mannequin, comparing them to an octopus. Diana tries to explain her design to Tim but her inability for form complete sentences is a problem here. Finally Diana resorts to showing Tim a sketch of a black evening gown with a complicated skirt with multiple hems and layers and Tim can only say that he's "anxious" to see how the dress turns out. Next, Tim moves on to Zulema who assures him that she's doing good and she's becoming better at time management. Tim however is a little unsure about the purple flowers Guadalupe has cut out and pasted on the skirt of her black dress. Guadalupe tells the camera that Tim worries that she is overdoing things with the flowers and accessories but she wants to push things a little to see how much she can get away with it. Tim then moves on to Marla, where he notices and tells her that her design looks to be something similar to the Chloe dress Nicky wore in one of the dossier photos. Marla wearily says that Tim may be right about that. Tim points out that the design is turning out to be very different from Marla's sketch and unfortunately it's not turning out to be pretty in the process. He tells Marla to be herself. Marla tells the camera in a bizarre and disjointed confessional that she never had time to play around with her designs like the other Fashionistas. She adds that she may be a designer but she doesn't trust her creative voice. Poor Marla, she seems so lost and confused that it's like seeing someone suffering from a slow and wasting disease. Won't someone take mercy on her and put her out of her misery?
As midnight approaches and the Fashionistas are busy finishing as much as they can of our charming Hiltonian Cinderella's dress, Andrať tells the camera that Dan is "stressed out" about the black stretch satin thingie. Dan learns that Kara doesn't have enough black stretch satin to spare. I suppose Marla doesn't have any either, because the next morning Dan has to rethink his initial plan of using the pink fabric as a front and the black fabric as the back. Meanwhile, Nick calls the day "Nicky Hilton Day" and he is confident with how things are going since most of his dress was finished the day before. Andrať is wearing his orange shorts again today, by the way. Obviously the world can't enough of his danglers and an encore is only appropriate.
At Parsons, Chloe tells Diana that the skirt Diana is working on looks like "Stevie Nicks". I hope she means that the skirt looks like something Stevie Nicks will wear instead of looking just like Stevie Nicks. Diana asks Chloe, "What's Stevie Nicks?", prompting Dan to go, "Oh my God!" while the camera shows the other Fashionistas turning to gape at Diana. Of course, given how this show is heavily edited until all context is beaten to death, they could easily be gaping at, say, Tim Gunn walking to the Sweatshop with a mistletoe belt buckle and a sign over it that says, "Emmett, please kiss me here!" Besides, Diana is only 22 and she's more into the whole science and technology thing instead of trying to relive the days of drugs and free love in the 1960s, so I don't think it's so horrible that she doesn't know who Stevie Nicks is. If I wasn't a fan of Fleetwood Mac, I probably won't either. Elsewhere, Dan is trying to do something with the fabric he has while Santino helps by imitating Tim as he tells Dan, "Daniel, you don't even have fabric to finish the sides of your dress. I'm shitting myself!" Santino's imitation of Tim's tone and his parodying Tim's overfondness of saying that he is worried are all pretty good, but at this point it's not so amusing anymore that Santino is very good at making fun of other people behind their backs. Dan tells the camera that he has to figure out a way and be creative to finish his dress, the usual.
Tim comes in some time later and makes his rounds. He likes Chloe's dress. I... I'll save my comments on Chloe's dress for the Runway. Guadalupe tells Tim that something has gone wrong in her dress and Tim can only say that it looks like "crap" and he'll leave her alone to figure out a way to work things out. Diana is also having problems with the ruffles of her overly-complicated dress and Tim points out that the dress also looks poorly sewn. Diana tells the camera that she doesn't have much design experience and maybe it's time that she doesn't focus too much on conceptions and work on pleasing the client. Aw, come on, there's nothing wrong with conceptualizing - many good ideas arise that way. Besides, poor Diana has been stuck with the label "gimmicky" that she can't shake off at all. Personally, I find the other Fashionistas more gimmicky in their one-note repetitious designs and I hate to see poor Diana being browbeaten with the "gimmick" label just because she doesn't work like a typical fashion designer. If Tim dislikes her dress, that's fine with me, but Tim has been prejudiced against her from day one, sticking the "gimmicky" label on her, and that's not fine with me.
Anyway, moving on, Tim loves Santino's design. The show will stick to the "Santino is really talented and that's why we're keeping him on - honest!" party line even when its credibility is twisting in the wind. Nick however is jealous as he tells the camera that he will beat Santino in this challenge because it is not the "first time" that he's "at the rodeo". From overly-camp speaking manner with exaggerated body movements to quoting movies stereotypically associated with overacting nelly queens, Nick is doing his best to demonstrate that there is no gay stereotype that you cannot attach to him. Maybe except the "straight-acting" stereotype. Tim thinks that Nick's dress is "sophisticated", which is probably something too much for Nicky Hilton. Meanwhile, Marla and Tim get into an argument because Tim thinks that Marla has copied the Chloe dress while Marla insists that it's her dress and besides, she can't whip up a new dress in such a short time. Emmett defends Tim in exchange for Tim's weekly love letters by saying, "Why would you buy that if you already have it in your closet?" This coming from a menswear designer, hmmph. Tim tells Marla to find a way to make the dress less like the Chloe dress and more like Marla's dress.
The models are here and everyone grooms up and gets ready for Nicky's party. Santino decides to wear five-inch stilettos because he wants to stand out in a crowd. I don't think he means standing out in a "Eeeuw, a drunken louse-ridden Frankenstein monster that stinks is wandering among us, Nicky, shall I call up Daddy and send some guys over to beat him up?" manner but that's what pops into my mind when he talks about standing out. Oh well. At the party, Heidi introduces Nicky who is dressed in casual cardigan and jeans. Nicky then flees the party so that the Fashionistas can approach her on a one-on-one manner instead of crowding around her and giving her germs or something. As everyone drinks and parties, Dan and Rebecca approach Nicky first, hoping that by being first Dan will make a more lasting impression on Nicky's mind. Nicky likes the dress. She also likes Nick's dress and Nick gushes that he "guessed" that Nicky's favorite color is blue and the dress will allow Nicky to look over her shoulders at the camera should Nicky decide to show up at some red carpet, maybe at her sister's X-rated movie premiere at Hugh Hefner's mansion. To the camera, Nick says in an even more camped-up manner than his usual style that he doesn't really like selling himself like that. "I just felt like, you know, a little Mexican kid in Tijuana, like, 'Buy my gum! Buy my chicle!' It's like, it's sort of pathetic!" Just like the cockeral comb hairstyle, the loser biker jacket, the ridiculous gold chains, and the fact that he's a balding 38-year old desperately trying to look like Danny Zuko, perhaps?
Later, Andrať tells Nicky that his dress is pretty. Kara tells Nicky that her design has an empire waist to accommodate "small girls" like Kara and Nicky. Nicky laughs politely and then zones Kara out. Diana tells Nicky that her skirt has extra layers so that when Nicky is dancing, the dress will garner her more attention than before. Ooh, who says Diana Eng doesn't know what a socialite wants more than anything, apart from an aging husband with limitless credit and a pool boy with the stamina of a bull that comes with the husband? Emmett sells his dress as "a little, sexy, versatile dress." He then bizarrely tells Nicky that he doesn't want to impose his opinions on people he doesn't know. Is it wise to tell Nicky Hilton that he doesn't know her? Zulema shows off her dress on Rachael, who looks like she's wearing a suit made of thorns judging from her expression, and tells the camera that Nicky should choose her dress if Nicky wants to come off like some tough but good girl. Zulema then eeriely calls herself a good but tough girl and I wonder whether she knows that the only person who will consider Zulema a nice girl is Imelda Marcos, and that's before they both get into a bitchslap fight over shoe closet space.
Nicky loves the braiding on Chloe's dress and says that her own Chick line will have many braids in its upcoming holiday line. Nicky loves braids. And Santino's design has a million braids. Oh God. Guadalupe presents her dress to Nicky and they end up talking about how the Fashionistas are given two photos of Nicky for inspiration, where Nicky says that she saw a dress that looks just like her Chloe dress - the camera zooms in on Marla and her model Cara wearing a close replica of the Chloe dress - and Guadalupe answers simply, "Yeah, I don't know what happened." Just like she doesn't know what happened to her own dress. Marla, when she meets Nicky, acts like she's horrified that somehow her design ends up so similar to the Chloe dress and acts like she's going to die of shame. That's probably the only way to go about showing off that dress and maybe Nicky will just write off Marla as some harmless absent-minded old biddy, I suppose. Cara, by the way, is trying to outdo Rachael in being the most miserable model on the show. At least Rachael has Zulema as a credible excuse for her abject misery so what's Cara's excuse? It's a darned shame when the vivacious Claudia is gone while wet rags like Cara linger on and on like some damned pestilence. To the camera, Marla is worried that she will have to leave at the end of the day. Doesn't she want to leave? Her confidence has taken a beating and her credibility is plummeting to new lows with each second she remains on the show. Isn't it better to just leave? I wonder whether Marla subconsciously sabotaged herself by creating a copy of that Chloe dress because deep down she really wanted to go home. I guess I'll never know.
Santino, to his credit, knows how to work that "I'm a mysterious and tall beatnix creative type" spell that works wonders on impressionable people who buy the theory that you can do anything and everything as long as you fit their definition of being talented. He gives Nicky his card and tells the camera that he is confident and he shows that to Nicky. Of course, the likes of Nicky Hilton will indulge, humor, and even mingle with him even if he acts like a complete jackass as long as he makes them pretty dresses. He has better hope though that he manages to capture the transient fancy of these spoiled socialites for a long time.
After everyone has met Nicky, the Fashionistas start to drink and dance. Much is made of Diana dancing and letting her hair down, with Chloe saying that Diana was at first nerdy and all until... whoa. Dan tells the camera, "Apparently, you play a little music, give her a drink, and she just will shake her shit like all the rest of us. So she's now Dirty Diana." While all this OH MY GOD SHE IS A HUMAN BEING AFTER ALL fuss about Diana swaying her shoulders is cute - the way Dan is going, I'd have expected Diana to start pole-dancing - it makes me feel a little sad inside, if only because I'm a nerd science gal myself, because all this fuss about Diana dancing only drives home just how much of an outsider Diana is perceived among the other Fashionistas. I don't think Dan will be so amused if I see him reading a book and squeal to the camera, "Apparently, you take away his Andrew Lloyd Webber CDs, give him a book, and he just will turn the pages like all the rest of us without squealing that so-and-so in the social pages is a fat cow and OHMIGOD CHER HAS A NEW CD SQUEEEEEEEE. So he's now Dinky Dan!" To end the party, the Fashionistas have a walk-off where Nick and Santino are said to have the best walk-off. Because those two are the designated king and queen of the prom, I suppose, while here I am thinking that Emmett's silly moonwalk thingie is the cutest one of them all.
The next day, it's Runway time. Tim tells the Fashionistas in the Sweatshop that they have an hour before the models arrive for the dressing up and grooming. Kara helps Marla as they try to put some fabrics here and there to make the bodice of Marla's dress look a little less similar to the Chloe dress. Whoops, the models are here and there are some skin to be seen for the three people out there who watch this show and enjoy watching naked women as well. In the salon and grooming parlors, Dan tells the make-up fellow to make sure that he looks like "mojitos on the beach". I'm afraid to ask. Marla makes me cringe when she tells the hairdresser that she likes the hairstyle Diana wants for her model Lesley Anne but she doesn't want to replicate that hairstyle so Marla wants the hairdresser to make a variation of that hairstyle for Cara. Oops, that's the sound of the last of Marla's credibility being flushed completely down the toilet. Guadalupe, meanwhile, tells the camera that she's starting to feel worried about how her dress will stand against the other dresses.
On to the Runway. The judges today are the Mighty Ogre, Nina, and of course, Nicky Hilton herself. The fact that Nicky supposedly designs her own line, Chick, is to give her some credibility as a fashion judge. Daddy's money can buy all kinds of good things.
Santino's dress is first and it's blue like, as he tells Nicky at the party, the color of Nicky's eyes. It's also another design similar to his previous ones, heavily laden with braids and laces and hems and more. At this point, it strikes me that Santino's designs are never sexy: his designs cover the woman's body underneath a ton of frills and gee-gaws until there is no hint of feminity on display. Chloe's dress is next and it's the same design as the one she made for the clothes off one's back challenge in the second episode, except this time around it's a backless affair and the spaghetti straps are replaced by braids. The blouse also fits poorly on Grace.
After two tedious rehash of previous designs, it is a welcome relief to see Andrať's beautiful creation: a shimmery dark blue-gray evening dress with plunging neckline and plenty of back exposed. It's sleek, sexy and sophisticated, and creates a shimmery effect whenever the model Danyelle takes a step on the Runway. Emmett's dress, on the other hand, looks like his Barbie design, in see-through black chiffon material that teases but never shows anything that isn't meant to be shown because the model is wearing something underneath to cover up the basics. Still, the dress won't suit Nicky too much because, like Kara would have said, this dress is meant for bigger girls than Nicky. Zulema's outfit looks like her Barbie design with black panels sewn over the model's chest area. It also looks like it's sewn in a rushed manner and the model Rachael is made up to look like a member of the living dead. Zulema tells the camera that her dress is a "little tough" for Nicky but Nicky would like it if she wants to feel "a little naughty" for the night. Um, so what happened to the whole good but tough girl thing Zulema babbled about earlier? Zulema places so much significance into her ugly dresses that I can't help but to be amused at this woman's delusions of grandeur.
Diana's dress will probably work better if the fabric used isn't completely black. There are plenty of layers of all kinds of shapes and sizes all over the place but with everything in black, it's hard to see much of it. The dress looks like a cross between an electrocuted ostrich and a rolled-up ball of paper. Nick's dress just won't do at all for Nicky Hilton. I mean, it's pretty - if bearing Nick's recognizable trademark stylings - but all that loose drapings that show off too much of the wearer's body will not do at all on Nicky Hilton. Nicky Hilton will never be able to hide the current chic "anorexic coke whore" skeletal look that these socialites love to show off to the paparazzi in that dress! Guadalupe's dress is in an unfortunate brownish and greenish affair with the colors reminding me of the muck floating in an aquarium that has never been washed in a long time. The colors are unfortunate but the addition of the garish flowers in the skirt, combined with the clashing red arm band that the model is wearing and those bizarre greenish tails in the skirt that reminds me of dead seaweed all come together to create a dress that seems to be inspired by shipwrecks. Or mouldy swamps.
Kara's empire-waisted dress is really nice, although it looks better as a nightgown than an evening dress. The fabric is shimmery, the design is simple yet elegant, and I like it. Marla's dress is next. It's the Chloe dress with what seems like cloth stuffed nilly-willy into the bodice to make Cara's chest look bigger than it actually is. It looks like a really bad and obvious knock-off of that Chloe dress that will make those Shanghai sweatshop seamstresses that specialize in creating knock-offs of designer labels cringe in embarrassment for Marla. Also, Cara walks, nay, stomps like she's at the brink of death. Maybe she'll have a bright future modeling in necrophilia-oriented catalogues. Dan's dress is simple but nice, if ordinary like all of his designs so far, and it's obvious that Rebecca is more curvy than Nicky Hilton so Nicky will never ever want to wear this dress without ordering plenty of alterations. And with that, the hopelessly uninspiring Runway show is over. I like the creations of Andrať and Kara best of all, but because Andrať and Kara will never be allowed to win, they and Emmett, Zulema, and Dan are all within the middle of the grading curve and are allowed to leave the Runway.
Guadalupe, Santino, Nick, Diana, Chloe, and Marla are joined by their models on the Runway. Quick, people, make an educated guess as to who the bottom and top three are. Come on, it's not hard, surely! The judges universally love the creations of Nick and Santino. Nicky says that Santino is a really cool guy. Oh, and she remembers to add that she likes his dress too. Nicky however thinks that Guadalupe puts too much into her creation while the Mighty Ogre thinks that Nicky will end up in someone's worst fashion victims list if she wears Guadalupe's design. The Mighty Ogre thinks that the press would scoff at Nicky and ask, "Are there green socks on her dress?" Nicky loves Chloe's dress because it is blue and black and it has braids. See a pattern here? Nicky loves (a) blue, (b) braids, and (c) black. Nicky thinks that Diana's skirt will make Nicky's butt looks big. The Might Ogre agrees, saying that people will say that Nicky will look like she's been "sitting at home eating ho-hos". The judges then bring up Marla's dress, where Nicky says that it is too similar to her Chloe dress and Heidi acts surprised to know that. And with that, the judges want to talk among themselves so the six Fashionistas are temporarily banished from their sight.
Nicky, that silly girl, likes Santino. Oh, and yeah, she likes the dress too. It's amusing how Heidi tries very hard to stop the inevitable by telling Nicky that the dress will make Nicky's waist look high. Since Heidi said that she'd wear Santino's first design and this dress is pretty much the same thing as his first design... heh. Chloe's dress is ill-fitting but because Chloe is going to be in the final four, nobody gives her a hard time about this the way they gave Daniel Franco a hard time in the first episode. So Chloe gets favorable comments even if her design is the one that looks the most blatantly recycled from previous designs. Guadalupe's dress is universally derided. As for Marla, I have to love how freaking Nicky Hilton says that she looked into Marla's eyes and knew at once that Marla didn't have the passion for fashion. Daddy's money can buy everything except self-awareness, I see. The Mighty Ogre however thinks that it's better to come up with an unoriginal dress that looks serviceable than a hideous dress. Heidi disagrees, saying that copying other people is a no-no. "You cannot do this in a competition!" she insists. Self-plagiarizing, though, seems to be okay and even encouraged.
Anyway, for putting the decision of the winner solely in the hands of a stupid little nitwit like Nicky Hilton, the show gets a winner in Santino. Nick looks darkly envious there. Santino tells the camera, "I didn't win the Barbie competition, but I won the Nicky Hilton competition! And that's more important. Because Barbie's not going to buy dress from me, but Nicky Hilton might!" And she might, until she realizes that Santino creates the same dress again and again and she ends up with something that looks like the dresses that her friends bought from him. And that her grandmother has a teddy that looks just like the dress she bought from Santino. Diana and Nick are safe, Marla and Guadalupe are on the hot seat, and in the end, Guadalupe is cut. It's better to be unoriginal than be ugly and Marla's case is an extreme example of the philosophy that the show operates on, it seems, because while Marla is unoriginal in a blatant and spectacular manner, she's not the only one plagiarizing here. Although in her case, she plagiarizes from someone else while the likes of Santino, Chloe, and Zulema perfect self-plagiarization to an artform. Guadalupe is sent to clear her worktable where she weepily laments the fact that nobody seems to understand her fantastic visions of creativity. Well, what can I say? That will teach her to be so daring as to do something different instead of repeating the same tried-and-true design elements in every challenge!
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