Just send the e to us direct at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Praises, criticisms, accolades, flames, and gifts are welcome. No marriage proposals or hook-up requests, please, although we don’t mind getting naked photos – provided that you are a hot guy, of course.
Naturally, we reserve the right to respond to or ignore your emails. We are nice, though, we try to reply whenever we can.
You can also check out our guestbook (practically a historical relic, link opens in a new tab). It’s quite cool to revisit what people left in there, back when guestbooks were all the rage. Have your adblockers ready, though, as it’s a third-party thing that serves ads and pop-ups. Also, it is not mobile-friendly, sorry!
Can you review my books?
Probably not (too busy). You can always ask, though.
How do I advertise or get interviewed on your website?
We’d love to get your money, but we don’t have the time or energy to do these things. The focus on this website isn’t on promotion anyway.
If I email you, will I get added to a mailing list or get spammed with Viagra ads?
Don’t worry, we won’t include you in some mailing list or sell your email address to other people.
Can you tell me how to get my book published?
No, we are not affiliated with anyone in the publishing industry, and we are not mean enough to lie to you.
How about you critique my unpublished work instead?
No. We barely have time to read published books.
But I’ll pay you!
You are going to get scammed by some unscrupulous loser if you keep being this way. Keep your money, don’t give it away so easily.
If I tell you a secret, will you tell everyone that I told?
Confidentiality is a given, so don’t fret about us blabbing to other people what you have told us.
Why is this website so boring? Where are the big headers, flashy banners, et cetera?
Aside from the fact that we can’t design anything on our own, we like simple. Simple and uncluttered looks good on mobiles and tablets.
Hey, we have some awards!
Alright, who are you?
Come on, I think I like you.
Let’s meet up.
We’d rather spend our money on something else.
But we’ll be great together!
We’re happy with our current level of greatness.
You’ll adore me.
You should try one of those hook-up apps that let you touch another human being. For free!
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