It took a boatload of producers, but the old Madonna is back. Well, sort of.
Eek, why is this poor kid turning into Clay Aiken? Stop, make it stop!
It loses a lot of cool points for leaving out Go Down Singing, the Tumblr anthem of the 2010s.
After four years, Michael W Smith comes back to sound just like he’s always done before.
She sounds like a goat, oh dear. Can’t the studio people do something?
Why do these brats make growing up sound even more boring than it already is?
She sleeps with daddies from the playground and gets depressed at sex clubs. Tove Lo, ladies and gentlemen.
Taylor Swift finally embraces pop in what is most likely her most calculated album ever.
He wants to cover every inch of my body with his autograph. I hope he dots every i carefully. Wait, did I say that out loud?
Oh no, this is a new album from Ne-Yo, and nobody – NOBODY – is going to tell me otherwise.
Another washed-up boyband trying to come back. Can’t blame them, but they could put more effort into it.
How cute, it’s LFO. Wait, these guys are called MKTO instead. Let’s hope they last longer than those fair-weather beach bums.
Backstreet Boys keep coming back, like geriatric uncles in stained boxer shorts trying to pull a Magic Mike before a crowd of bewildered teenage girls.
Cher Lloyd shows marked improvement in her follow-up effort, but the bar was set so low previously.
Sia discovers a new generation of dreamy little girls who would ordain her as the spokesperson for their little earthquakes.
We have Iggy Azalea and now we have this. What is wrong with Australia?
I’m not sure what happened, but the best song is a cover version.
Since when did Lana Del Rey come up with a new album?
If Tori Amos and Suzanne Vega somehow have a child together, that child would make this album.
RuPaul may be born naked, but she’s also covered in cheese.