by Cathryn Cade, futuristic (2008)
Samhain Publishing, $3.50, ISBN 1-60504-072-X
Some time in the future, we have our spacecraft called Orion. They are headed for the planet Bryght which are inhabited by a bunch of shapeshifting tigers called the Tygers. Hmm, I believe I've seen that cartoon before. No cartoon that I have seen will feature a Crew Commander in heat though. Our Tygean hero Tyron Jag, is needed on board the ship fully conscious because of his navigational skills especially when they head into that part of space full of terrorists so it's not as if they can sedate him for the rest of the journey. Alas, a Tygean in heat can't control his shifting.
The only solution to the problem is to ensure that he gets to shag all he wants. Alas, the crew can't just play the pimp and whore out any of the legal prostitutes on board the ship. Tyron will need to impale his Sword of Omens onto a relatively untouched woman. Apparently, these horny cats will shag anything that moves but they will mate only with a relatively chaste woman. I tell you, some men will never change whether it's 1508 or 3008.
Calla Fellura, our
designated whore heroine, is also a Tyger and she has the hots for Tyron since day one. Alas, she's not into the whole "don't knock on my door if the spacecraft is tilting" scene so she has only drooled after Tyron from afar. Of course, when she now has to part her legs for Tyron's Sword of Omens for a very good cause, she can't rush to Tyron fast enough. I tell you, romance heroines will never change whether it's 1508 or 3008.
If the names (Tyger, Tyron, Bryght) isn't corny enough, the premise screams "space smut". But of course, we can't call this a space smut because the romance genre deserves more respect than that and besides, the characters insist that they are in love in the end so this is an erotic romance. With heart! Therefore, Ms Cade thoughtfully helps to make it clear that this is no smut by having some jokers who are supposed to the bad guys to show up and explain what they are doing to each other (and, presumably, for the very slow reader's sake) before doing what it is they want to do. See? There's a bomb threat! This story is now relevant to the current international political climate.
Either way, smut or no, this one is so cheesy, it's ridiculous. It's good, I suppose, if you like your cheese particularly thick and gooey. If not, hey, who knows, maybe Ms Cory will come up with a sequel featuring
Lion-O Leon-O getting it on with Mumm-Ra Mummyra that will be more to your liking.
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